Laurie and Val, with Laurie becoming the youngest ever winner of DWTS!

This is Val’s second win, after winning Season 21 with Rumer Willis. That puts Val in the elite company of the Houghs, Mark, Cheryl, and Peta as a two-time winner. This also bumps up Val’s average finish to between fourth and fifth place, making him the only professional besides the Houghs to do better than fifth place on average.

Out of the show’s first all-athlete top three, Laurie became the second gymnast to win the show. The only other one who has is Shawn Johnson in season 8. Nastia Liukin and Aly Raisman both got fourth on their respective seasons, and Shawn was the runner up in the All Star season. It so happened that Shawn’s triumph was over the best male dancer the ballroom had seen up to that point, Gilles Marini. History tends to repeat itself, so the very worthy runner up is…

James and Sharna! James has absolutely lived up to Julianne’s title of “Best Male Dancer Ever on DWTS,” a title we’re sure will be invoked with increasing hyperbole in the coming seasons. Unfortunately, “best male dancers” usually end up as runners up to unstoppable female celebrities: Gilles to Shawn, Corbin Bleu to Amber Riley, and so on. Any theories as to why this is?

If ever two celebrities deserved to split the Mirrorball, it was these two. We all knew Laurie was going to win, especially once she got the last spot in the running order tonight, but the show did a damn good job of giving us hope that James could win.

For the third season in a row, we have a pro who’s already won hoist the Mirrorball. This is only the second such streak in the show’s history, after seasons 10 through 12 (Derek twice, then Kym). We’ve never seen a longer streak, so next season a new pro should win, and we’ve an inkling of who it should be…

This result makes Sharna one of the pros most overdue for a win ever. This was her third trip to the finals, and her second time as runner up. The only pros to ever be in the finals three times without a win to their name are the Chmerkovskiy brothers. The only pro to be runner up twice before winning is Kym Johnson. Sharna is the only member of both clubs, so her luck has to turn one of these days.

Falling in third place, totally obviously, are Calvin and Lindsay. There was no suspense here, but Calvin was heartily commended for all his great dancing, and for being such a good sport all season. It’s the best result for a football player since Donald Driver won season 14. Lindsay came in third place for a second time, because this final perfectly echoed Season 21: Lindsay in third place, Sharna in second, and a DWTS golden boy (Derek/Val) winning as expected with a young, bubbly, preordained champ. Furthering the parallel: Laurie tied Bindi Irwin’s record of eight perfect scores.

Before the results could be announced, all three couples participated in the 24-hour fusion challenge, where it was perfect scores all around. First up were James and Sharna, who did a fusion of Viennese waltz and foxtrot. It was emotional, classy, and impeccably danced… just like all of James’s numbers. And though the judges are always effusive in their praise during finales, their sentiments of “it’s a joy to watch you dance” felt genuine. In the rehearsal package, we saw James gift Sharna his racing suit – the first one he wore after the accident. Sharna, vowing not to ugly cry, thanked him for the season of her life. Oh, we were crying, no doubt about that.

Second up were Calvin and Lindsay, performing a fusion of quickstep and jive. Calvin’s jive technique has improved markedly, he did a great job keeping up with the two fastest dance styles in a fun routine. His partnership with Lindsay has been delightful, because they keep teasing each other, but occasionally slip up and admit how much fun they’re having. Calvin also achieved his most important ambition: getting photos of himself on the walls of the rehearsal studio.

The last competitive dance of season 23 went to Laurie and Val, with a fusion of foxtrot and Argentine tango. Of course, it was as excellent as befits a champion: incredible lifts, flawless technique, and a performance level that has grown all season. We even saw Laurie, usually the cavalier one to Val’s mess of feelings, get distinctly emotional during their final rehearsal. She hates goodbyes! So do we!

All this good stuff happened in the last 40 minutes of a bloated two-hour mess of a finale. Finales at the Grove are the worst, made only slightly more interesting this year because the Grove had iced over and become treacherous to dance on. Gosh, remember when finales used to be a celebration of the season that was? While the four finalists (including Jana) reprised their favorite dances, one would be forgiven for forgetting anyone else competed at all this season.

As to the favorite dances… Laurie reprised her unfortunate trio samba with Maks (who hogged the camera most of the first hour). James did his week four quickstep with aplomb. Calvin chose his epic argentine tango from Latin night – we wholeheartedly approve of this choice! It was one of his best numbers. Jana also reprised her Argentine tango from Latin night, shower and all. And yes, it looked just as ridiculous as the last time. At least there was a lesson to be learned: Tom advised us, “Save water, shower with a friend!”

Among the other ridiculous things that happened, Vanilla Ice reprised “Ice Ice Baby” with his new BFF Rick Perry. There’s really nothing more to say.

Macy’s hearkened back to their Stars of Dance days (remember those?) by presenting a Christmas-y dance to get us all in the holiday mood. At least let us finish cooking Thanksgiving before we have to start celebrating Christmas!

In a segment we always love, we got to take a peek at dress rehearsal, complete with potty mouths, wardrobe malfunctions, and fake judges. What we wouldn’t give to be there!

Lots of former contestants sang, like Andy Grammar and Babyface. And in a nice touch, the segment looking back on the finalists’ journey where we all end up crying was accompanied by Jana singing her song, “Circles.”

On the whole, this was one of the best seasons DWTS has ever had. Every single elimination happened as it should have, for the first time in living memory. James and Laurie raised the standard, and the rest of the cast rose to the challenge magnificently, vying for coveted spots in the finals. Ironically, in a season celebrating returning pros, it was the newer ones who got to shine: Gleb, Sasha, and Lindsay. The season had drama, humor, good story arcs, and some of the best dancing we’ve seen. See you in season 24!

Are you happy Laurie won? What did you think of season 23? And who do you want to see on DWTS next season?