…exactly who we all expected: Bindi and Derek!
Bindi is only the second winner ever who is not an actor, singer, or athlete; the first was Brooke Burke in season 7, who gave Derek his first win. Derek Hough just won his mind-boggling SIXTH Mirrorball trophy… whereas no other pro has more than two wins to their name. There just aren’t enough superlatives for Derek anymore.
Bindi was the most preordained winner since Jennifer Grey — everyone knew exactly how the finals would pan out. Lindsay kept assuring Alek she was proud of him, “no matter what happens” — read: “We’re getting third place, and that’s still awesome.” Nick graciously and genuinely said at the end that Bindi deserved it because she kicked ass (Nick is one of the classiest contestants we’ve seen, and good on him). Even Sharna said at the top of the show that she didn’t know who to root for — read: “I want to win, but it’s obviously going to be Bindi, as it should be.”
Bindi received the final spot in the running order, and closed out the show with a fusion of Argentine tango and cha-cha. We didn’t spot any cha-cha in this dance, but it was an impeccable Argentine tango, and garnered Bindi her record-breaking eighth perfect score. As the scores were given, Julianne dropped all her non-ten paddles — yep, we agree. As usual, Bindi’s rehearsal footage was a mess of feels — honestly, this writer welled up during the recap of her freestyle on Monday. The cutest moment of the night was Bindi’s “Oh my gosh!” upon seeing portraits of her and Derek in the rehearsal studio.
Nick and Sharna were the very worthy runners up, as indeed they were predicted to be at the very beginning. Nick matched or exceeded the members of *NSYNC, who placed second and third, but did not measure up to Drew Lachey of 98 Degrees (winner of season 2). He also surpassed his younger brother Aaron, who only made it to the quarterfinals. This was Sharna’s best result yet, surpassing her third place peak last season. Sharna is now well and truly due for a win, look for the fans to rally and make it happen next season.
Nick probably did the best Instant Fusion dance — a mix of tango and salsa. It was high energy and fun, and the latter half included some insane lifts from Sharna “Human Sundial” Burgess. They even ripped off part of their costumes halfway through!
Landing in third place were Alek and Lindsay. The third place slot could have gone to any of half a dozen contestants this season, and Alek being there is a testament both to his hard work and his likability. This season has also done wonders for Lindsay’s integration into the ranks of professional dancers we actually care about. Lindsay choked up when she walked into the final rehearsal — not having ever made it through a full season of DWTS before, there must be lots of feels for her.
Alek did a rhumba-tango fusion, which seems a bit cheap considering that’s the second rhumba he’s done in as many days, but whatever. Alek’s rhumba was markedly improved (there was hip action!) and tango has always been in his wheelhouse. There was a minor misstep or two, so the judges gave all nines, but judging by Alek’s face he knew the scores didn’t matter at all. His eyeroll at Julianne’s “The sky is full of stars, and your future is bright!” was priceless.
Before we got to those dances, we had to sit through an absolute hot mess of a finale. For reasons unknown, the producers thought it’d be a good idea to split the finale between the ballroom and The Grove, constantly shuttling everyone back and forth between the two. One of the worst decisions made yet by the producers, it gave everything a frenzied and disjointed feel. There was an awful lot to get through in the time before the final dances.
Almost all the returning stars danced again. Tamar was absent, still recovering. Kim finally got to do her “I Dream of Genie” routine, the casualty of her withdrawal. A lot of the dances were from TV Night: Paula reprised her Gilligan’s Island routine (with disastrous results), Nick performed his beautiful Downton Abbey-inspired Viennese waltz, and Alexa got to do her super-cool Breaking Bad routine one more time.
Chaka didn’t even bother with the dancing, preferring to sing as the pros danced around her. For reasons far less clear, Andy did the same. Victor brought out his big hat for a dance, Hayes did a good contemporary routine, and even Gary made an unsuccessful attempt at dancing. Alek reprised his “Don’t Stop Believin’” jazz routine, which was one of his more dynamic performances. Bindi repeated her exquisite Viennese waltz, blindfold and all. And, as promised, Carlos performed his Magic Mike routine, complete with Santa hats this time.
Other than the dancing, there was So. Much. Filler. We careened from video to dance to video at lightning speed — Tom singing! Funny outtakes! An incredibly creepy “Twas the Night Before Finals,” a great idea derailed by Gary Busey. The one worthwhile video package was a heavily edited one about the burgeoning romance between Carlos and Alek. While some clever editing heightened what was already a promising bromance, Alek assured us, “Every word was true.”
There was time for more musical performances! Elle King sang “Ex’s & Oh’s,” which was fun, but why weren’t Alek, Lindsay, and Emma reprising their trio tango to it? That could have segued into answers about Alek and Emma’s showmance! Andy and Chaka sang “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” where it was fun to watch the dancing if one could get past the content of the song (this writer couldn’t). Finally, for the ultimate “celebrating our finalists” moment, Nick sang one of his new solo songs. It was an interesting idea, but was so rushed, the moment lacked the usual two-hanky oomph of the finalists reflecting on their journey. Honestly, there were lots of missed opportunities here: no dance between the PenaVegas, which seemed a sure bet. No video of other cast members reflecting on how fabulous the finalists are.
That said, this still closed out a season that turned out to be surprisingly good. The video recaps of the season showed just how unenjoyable the first few weeks were, and how good things got in the latter half of the season. There were no shocking or unfair eliminations, there was a lot of good dancing and a lot of emotions, and the correct end result. Here’s hoping season 22 keeps that going!