All of a sudden, this season has gone to hell in a handbasket, as the frontrunner got eliminated and another one barely copes with injuries.

The couple heading home this week is… Elizabeth and Val! When their names were called, I yelled many things that would have all been bleeped out on live TV. One expects cruel cuts in the semifinals, but not since Sabrina Bryan and Natalie Coughlin has there been such a hurtful cut before the semifinals. This is different from Snooki and Brant the last two weeks – both of those were likable, decent dancers who might have made it another two or three weeks. But Elizabeth was my pick to take the Mirrorball – she has earned two of the season’s three perfect scores. She is also the only contestant in the entire history of the show to get two perfect scores and finish outside the top five. Her charisma, dedication, and dancing would make her a perfect champion, and Val is overdue a Mirrorball after coming so close the last two seasons.

Talk of Val, this is his third time in the quarterfinals out of five seasons. He was gracious as ever upon being eliminated, emphasizing how Elizabeth should take away confidence from the experience. Elizabeth thanked him profusely, as Emma (and many others) cried. One of these days, Val will win – I get the feeling the DwtS fandom will now view him as the pro long overdue a Mirrorball (as they used to view Tony, Karina, and Kym before their eventual wins).

Numbers fun: today marked Derek’s record eleventh appearance in a quarterfinal; he has only missed it once. Cheryl is one behind with this being her tenth appearance in 16 seasons. One behind her is Karina, with her ninth appearance in 14 seasons. And poor Tony is participating in only his fifth quarterfinal in sixteen seasons. As for Emma, today she becomes the first new pro to make the quarterfinal since Tristan in Season 13; after today she is the first new pro to make the semifinal since Chelsie in Season 8.

Today, there was a renewed emphasis on actual dancing after last week’s Cher-themed mess. The judges gave actually useful critiques for the first time in ages. Everyone really stepped up their game in the first Ballroom round, even though the dances were really short. The Trio dances, on the other hand, generally featured ludicrous concepts and mediocre dancing, but were lots of fun to watch. So let’s welcome our stars!

First Place, 58 points: Corbin and Karina (Waltz, 28 + Trio Jazz, 30). This week was all about redemption for Corbin, atoning for the sins of his fabulous yet judge-maligned “Game of Thrones” Viennese Waltz. And Corbin was indeed redeemed with a beautiful waltz – incredibly fluid and smooth, and a pleasure to watch.

For his trio dance, Corbin got a jazz number with tap, so he was the one teaching the steps and doing the choreography. I normally don’t mind dancers on the show, but I call BS on this, just as I did with Zendaya doing hip-hop. This show is supposed to be celebrities learning how to ballroom dance, not teaching the pros the style they’re professionally trained in. With that said, Corbin’s number was obviously fabulous. The judges were raving about him matching up to Bob Fosse, and awarded him a perfect 30, the first individual 30 not earned by Elizabeth. Oh, and Troupe Member Whitney was the third person in the trio. She needs way more personality if she ever wants to be a pro.

Second Place, 56 points: Elizabeth and Val (Viennese Waltz, 26 + Trio Salsa, 30). What hurts most is that Elizabeth had possibly her best week yet. Her haunting wedding-themed Viennese waltz didn’t totally wow the judges, despite Elizabeth’s beautiful lines. Val’s strategy this week was to have Elizabeth shut up, which proved very difficult and led to a lot of comedy. Elizabeth does kind of have verbal diarrhea, as evidenced when she was asked about shutting up this week.

For their trio dance, Elizabeth and Val were joined by Gleb, whose good looks seemed to affect everyone in different ways. Len said Gleb was fabulous, leading Carrie Ann to call Len out on his man-crush. Val seethed with “ab envy,” asking Gleb to not go to the gym for a week. And Elizabeth graciously said that dancing with two shirtless Russian men was “a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.” This was pretty much the only trio that wholly satisfied me – plenty of fun, but actually superb dancing. Elizabeth was spinning like the world’s fastest dreidel from one guy to the other, and the trio worked together seamlessly. This was all rewarded with a well-deserved perfect 30, so at least Elizabeth got to go out on a high note.

Third Place (tie), 54 points: Jack and Cheryl (Viennese Waltz, 29 + Trio Samba, 25). Jack’s potential was finally realized this week. His technical foundation was put to good use with a stellar Viennese Waltz, one that was one point away from being perfect (Bruno got his knickers in a twist over Jack’s arms – ugh!). This Viennese waltz was beautiful, and Jack’s dancing is really impressive – especially his turns, as all the judges pointed out. This week was Jack’s birthday, and Cheryl had a very sweet surprise for him – a mini Mirror Ball Trophy with “Best Partner Jack and Cheryl Season 17.” So adorable! This was apparently “because it might be the only one” Jack gets. Cheryl then sweetly commended Jack for making her smile every day, though she wants to wring his neck. Have I mentioned I love these two?

My love for them only increased in their trio dance with Sharna. By common consent, Sharna is “cut from the same cloth” as Cheryl. So both of them were totally kicking Jack’s butt in rehearsal – it was hilarious; I could watch them boss Jack around forever. Their dance’s story was Jack saving Cheryl in the jungle from a Sharna monster. Everything about this dance made me smile, including the many uses to which Jack’s butt was put. Sharna being Cheryl’s captor was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen! Unfortunately, Jack’s samba technique was dreadful. Honestly, samba is not a dance that lends itself well to trios; a lot of the moves are specifically for two people with no room for a third. Tom commented on Jack’s similar trajectory to Kelly, and I’m wondering if Jack winning is really such a pipe dream – probably is, but I can hope.

Third Place (tie), 54 points: Leah and Tony (Tango, 27 + Trio Jive, 27). Leah is as annoying as ever, questioning the need for challenging routines in the quarterfinals. That said, her tango was actually very good – perhaps the first time all season she deserved the high scores she’s gotten. Sharp footwork combined with a proper routine worked miracles. Then again, considering she usually gets nines and eights regardless of her dances, I can see why she doesn’t want to bother challenging herself.

Their trio dance was the best thing I’ve ever seen on DwtS – they parodied the judges! Leah was Carrie Ann in all her cheerleading glory, Troupe Member Henry was a delightfully uptight Len, and Tony went wild as an insane Bruno. I was hysterically laughing the entire way through this routine. How has no one done this before? Evidently, sucking up to the judges worked because they got three completely undeserved nines. The actual jiving was abysmal – Leah was barely moving, which was especially evident when side by side with Tony and Henry.

Fourth Place, 51 points: Amber and Derek (Quickstep, 24 + Trio Salsa, 27). How the mighty have fallen – Amber is second from the bottom! But her injury is finally getting the better of her, and makes me worried for her future prospects. Her Quickstep was good, but not great. If Amber’s knee is messed up, Quickstep is just about the worst dance for her to do, so at least she powered through it. Derek had an interesting strategy with the choreography – lots of messing about at the beginning and the end to ease Amber’s burden, but tons of content in the middle to keep the judges happy.

Amber’s salsa, on the other hand, was nowhere near good despite being dreadfully overscored. Amber barely did anything – which isn’t altogether surprising, when she has an injured knee and Derek and Mark dancing with her. Derek and Mark were going especially bonkers, which only served to highlight how little Amber did, and how lackluster what little she did was. The poor girl was also utterly confused by Derek and Mark’s choreographing methods. We even got a clip of them speaking in their own language as Amber looked on bemusedly – it was awesome!

Last Place, 42 points: Bill and Emma (Charleston, 21 + Trio Salsa, 21). As usual, there’s an A for effort for Bill. But everyone stepped up their game so much this week, and Bill’s Charleston was terrible – not a single step done to music, and awful technique all around. I don’t know why the judges left their 1 through 6 paddles at home, but Bill got straight sevens to indicate the judges’ supreme disapproval of his technique.

Bill’s trio included Peta and Emma as Willy Wonka’s candy girls. It was sheer lunacy – Peta and Emma just fed off each other’s craziness and went nuts in rehearsal, as Bill lived every man’s dream. As usual, his timing was completely off and dancing was generally bad, but this routine was a joy to watch. Peta and Emma on a total sugar high together are just way too much fun!

The real question now is who will take the Mirrorball trophy? And who will get eliminated next week? If I had to guess, I would say the rankings will be Corbin, Amber, Jack, Bill, and Leah. But since the viewers are all voting for the bad dancers, who knows how this will all pan out? What are your predictions?