Welcome to the 22nd season of Dancing with the Stars!

True, the stars are few and far between, but some of the best seasons have featured unknowns coming into their own. And without a spot in the finals automatically allocated to Derek’s partner, it’s a much more open field than usual. For the first time in about four years, no frontrunner emerged at the end of the premiere, and that could be a good thing.

Len is back in the ballroom, and everyone is thrilled! Per Tom, he has not lost his look of quiet disdain – and neither have we! Len abstained from bringing out his eight paddle, but let the sixes fly furiously as the night went on.

Now, bonus points if you can name half of them from memory, but let’s welcome our stars!

First Place (tie), 23 points: Nyle & Peta. Nyle is deaf, so he dances just by following Peta with his eyes (as Tom said, who hasn’t?). We found their cha-cha to be rather sloppy. Nyle was all over the place, throwing his body around wildly instead of maintaining control. His form aside, he was in time to the music, and did a routine with lots of content, both of which are very impressive all things considered. We have to wonder how far he can go by following Peta, but in terms of skill, he’s one of the ones to beat. Oh, and he seems to be morally opposed to covering up his torso, so that won’t hurt either.

First Place (tie), 23 points: Ginger & Val. Ginger was the first true contender to perform, and is the only one aside from Nyle whom we remember an hour later. Per Carrie Ann, Ginger evoked Bindi Irwin, the reigning champ – that’s a good sign! Ginger managed to do a decent jive right out of the gate – an impressive feat. She has personality to spare – she recognized Val by his abs, and chats a lot about her lactating. She’ll definitely go far.

First Place (tie), 23 points: Wanya & Linday. The Boy II Man delivered the highest-energy number of the night, set to one of his own songs, even if it had more crotch-thrusting than cha-cha in it (a recurring theme of the premiere). More memorable than the dance was Len and Bruno’s subsequent tiff over a pillow, while Carrie Ann yearned to do splits alongside Wanya.

Second Place (tie), 21 points: Paige & Mark. Very early in the show, Paige called dibs on the “becoming a woman” storyline. She and Mark did a surprisingly graceful foxtrot, which was especially good in the beginning before it sped up and got sharp. Paige is quite weepy, getting the distinction of First Cryer of season 22. She hit so many DWTS tropes, we’re kind of surprised this wasn’t about her dream of attending a prom she never got to go to.

Second Place (tie), 21 points: Marla & Tony. The former Mrs. Trump fielded questions about Trump with good humor, and seemed to do everything with a good humor. When Tony suggested that the most important thing was working hard and doing your best, she shut that down – it’s about having fun! (Wait, so winning the Mirrorball isn’t life and death? What have we been watching for the last decade, then?) The poor thing had to do a Quickstep (one of the hardest dances) in Week 1. Impressively, she managed to keep up, only stumbling once or twice. Tony is thrilled to have a competent partner – he has not seen Week 1 sevens in many moons (two years to be exact).

Second Place (tie), 21 points: Antonio & Sharna. If some of the football players don’t get eliminated, we’ll just start calling the couples “Sharna and Football Player #2.” We suggest a new drinking game: take a shot every time business is “booming.” You’ll get alcohol poisoning by Disney Night. Antonio’s quickstep had good energy, though he did mess it up quite a bit.

Second Place (tie), 21 points: Von & Witney. The most important thing we recall: Von has a thing for chickens, and even got a tattoo of a chicken. Now that’s dedication! If this couple does not do Chicken Little on Disney Night, we shall be most disappointed. Von did a hip-hop foxtrot, which is a travesty that shouldn’t exist, especially outside of Fusion Night.

Third Place (tie), 20 points: Kim & Sasha. Sasha says it’s better to be a pro than be in a crab suit, but Tom is not alone in hoping for a reprise of the crab suit later this season. Kim delivered a competent cha-cha to kick off season 22, it was sharp and she could definitely grow into a dancer. If not, at least her thighs have learned some manners.

Third Place (tie), 20 points: Jodie & Keo. This already ties Keo’s highest score ever on DWTS, which illustrates what rotten luck he’s had with partners. But he seems to have struck gold this time, as Jodie seems like one of the very few starts that people may have heard of. She’s very hard on herself, but she acquitted herself well by doing a good job at a demanding tango early in the show.

Fourth Place, 16 points: Mischa & Artem. Now we get to the lower echelon of dancers. Mischa’s tango had good production values but zero content, and Len cracked down on that. We were really impressed by Mischa’s attitude. She’s clearly struggling to dance, but does not make excuses and does not demand pity; rather, she accepts criticism with a good dose of humility, acknowledges her mistakes and promises to work harder. Her dancing may not have won us over, but her personality may have.

Fifth Place, 15 points: Doug & Karina. Hopefully we’ll soon be down at least one football player. Doug danced the first dud of Season 22 – a blocky foxtrot with awful posture. Did you yell out “So good! So good! So good!” during “Sweet Caroline” just like the live audience? This writer sure did!

Last Place, 13 points: Geraldo & Edyta. Edyta was welcomed back with much fanfare making her first appearance lying sultrily on a news desk. But her triumphant return may be cut short because her partner literally did not do a smidge of dancing in the entire routine. Rather, he discovered Edyta in Al Capone’s vault, and then stood back admiring her for the duration of the routine. It’s worth discussing, perhaps, if DWTS producers don’t penalize pros for leaving for a couple years. When Ashley DelGrosso returned in season 10 after a long break, she was straddled with Buzz Aldrin, similarly, Edyta returns from a break only to be partnered with a septuagenarian. Doesn’t matter how due Edyta is for a win, she’s not getting one this season.

What did you think of the premiere? Are you excited to have Edyta and Len back in the ballroom? And who are your early picks for frontrunners?