The Doctor Who Christmas Special just aired, and we finally got to see River Song again after a two-year hiatus.
Our setting: Christmas 5343
Once again we find ourselves on Diagon Alley…we mean Trap Street…or even a new street we’ve never seen before, and the TARDIS is parked in the street with a sign posted outside that says, “Christmas Carolers will be Criticised.” A man knocks at the door of the TARDIS, and asks for the “surgeon.” Of course the Doctor comes, once he determines there will be no singing, and the next thing he knows he’s reunited with River Song on her spaceship. She needs a Doctor for her new husband, King Hydroflax. It’s a convoluted tale of a marriage of convenience to a genocidal lunatic android who has a diamond in his head. Cue one unexpectedly removable head, and we’re off.
Getting to know you
Due to the usual meeting out of order, River doesn’t appear to realize that she is with the Doctor. She and the Twelfth Doctor get along well as the Doctor attempts to dazzle her with his intellect. He even has some fun with finally getting to do the “bigger on the inside” routine in the way that he feels does it justice. Alas, it makes no difference, no matter what the Doctor does, River doesn’t seem to impress easily, or notice who he is. If things aren’t bad enough, River seems to also have acquired another, stud husband named Ramone. So much for the Doctor being her irreplaceable, one and only.
The trade and the reveal
The long and short of it is, that the head of the King Hydroflax proves to be a hot commodity that River is intent on pawning off. Sadly she pawns it to his cult like followers creating a complication. Now her maître friend is no longer a friend and he snags her diary. He hopes to lure the Doctor, a much bigger payoff than a diamond in the head. After a glorious speech about who and what the Doctor is to her, and how the Doctor will never come, River Song finally realizes the Doctor is standing right next to her. He delivers the classic , “Hello, Sweetie.” line to a teary-eyed River who realizes that he has a face that she doesn’t know.
The escape and the the goodbye
The Doctor and River escape their ambush due to a meteor strike. The team is back together again trying to save themselves and destroy the ship full of genocidal lunatics. There is one catch, however: River’s diary is nearly full. How much longer can her life last? The answer is, that it’s almost up as their ship crash lands on Darillium. As Whovians know, the Doctor’s final date with River Song, as revealed in their first meeting, was at the Singing Towers of Darillium.
A perfect ending
In the end, the Doctor knows that as much as he has been avoiding visiting the Singing Towers of Darillium with River Song, he can avoid it no longer. Things can’t be postponed forever. It’s time to face the music, or in this case, the Doctor and River’s inevitable timeline end. The Doctor creates the perfect way to say goodbye to River. He uses the diamond and makes sure that a restaurant is built in front of the Singing Towers of Darillium. He gives River the gift of the Tenth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver, which will save him at their first/last meeting. They have their final night on Darillium, a final night to say goodbye. Fortunately, for the Doctor and River it is a goodbye of twenty-four years since that is as long as a night on Darillium lasts.
