Happy Holidays to all the singles out there and literally no one else.
Christmas brings people together. In case you haven’t scrolled down your Facebook feed in a while, it is also the season where everyone in love is getting engaged.
If you’re gearing up to face your family’s never-ending questions about your love-life, check out our list of movies that are sure to keep your mind off of everyone else’s happiness, wallow a little bit, or help you root against love! All while enjoying a little bit of Christmas cheer.
‘Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas’
Either version of this movie works, but I recommend a double feature. This movie keeps coming to mind this holiday season thanks to a particular tweet.
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.
— Probability The Rapper (@random_weighs) November 25, 2017
Honestly, who can’t relate? You don’t hate Christmas, really. It’s the people. In stores, in parking lots, in your house when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch all the shows you’re 14 weeks behind on.
The Grinch just wants to be left alone in his cave with his dog (honestly, same) and enjoy some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask?
The Classics
Remember when the worst part of the family holiday dinner was never graduating from the “kids table?” Relive the simpler times and enjoy the holiday classics. We’re talking Rudolph and Frosty (the originals, not the horrible sequels).
If you can’t commit to the entire catalogue, The Year Without a Santa Claus is your best option. Santa is over the fact that for all his efforts and work, no one appreciates him. So, when he gets a touch of the flu, rather than power through it, he decides to sleep in, take a little “me” time.
Of course, even that can’t last as he has to travel down to Texas to clean up a mess that his elves made.
Also, it has the best rival song showdown of any of the holiday classics!
Hallmark Christmas Movies
At first glance this may appear counter-intuitive. Why would you want to watch a series of movies about people falling in love? Answer – because the plots are so ridiculous that you’ll be too busy focusing on the insanity unfolding before you to resent the couple in love.
No spoilers, but this is typically how a Hallmark film unfolds. Girl/Guy returns to small town (possibly hometown) from a big city high-profile job. They’ve lost touch with their roots and find everyone, including their parents, to be out of touch with the world.
But shocker, they are the ones who have lost touch. Soon they rediscover the magic of Christmas after decorating a gingerbread house, saving the town pageant, or discovering that the local diner owner who is raising his dead sibling’s children has more at stake than closing some huge corporate deal with a Christmas day deadline. Sometimes it could be ALL of the above!
Look, they’re not perfect, but they are the best way to spend an entire weekend in bed guessing whether that random stranger in town is actually someone’s mother who gave them up for adoption before their first Christmas.
‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’
“Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.” Is there any film that captures the horror of family visiting, mixed with the disappointment and pressure of the holiday season. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation has all of that and more wrapped in one fantastic movie.
The Griswold family is the perfect cast of misfits who highlight the best and worst of families at the holidays. Imagine them as the type of people you might have had to spend the day with if you went to your significant other’s house for the day. You may have your own family to visit with, but at least you don’t have to do it twice!
‘Home Alone’/’Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’
There are a ton a plot holes in Home Alone that would all be resolved today with a cell phone. But let’s put all that aside and focus on the all too real story at the heart of Kevin McCallister’s two films.
Kevin is the epitome of the single person at the holidays. Sure, we’d love nothing more to be alone ordering pizza and watching old movies. Hell, we’d even take a flight mix up and enjoy New York City alone for a few days. And we’re survivors, we could figure out a way to get by without anyone with us.
But who are we kidding. Once the sugar wears off and the pizza crust hardens we all have to deal with the fact that we are alone and our moms won’t pick up our calls. There is a great lesson to learn here — find your own bird lady.
Call up that one friend you can commiserate with, the one who will help you deal with your loneliness and protect you from the two creeps who keep following you around. Maybe they’ll even watch some of these movies with you!
‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’
This retelling of Pride and Prejudice is one of the better romcoms to come out of the last 16 years. However, even though the couple ultimately gets together in the end, it is a great showcase of men being horrible. Seriously, the two men vying for Bridget’s affection (no matter how attractive and British they are) are the worst.
And if you’ve seen the sequels 100 times over (don’t lie, you have), they never learn and somehow manage to be even more horrible. So, spend a few hours yelling at Bridget to stick up for herself, get what she deserves. Then find yourself commiserating with her about knowing what you’re worth, but falling for the guy anyway.
Bonus, Colin Firth wears a truly glorious ugly sweater.