The Summer of 2013 is coming to a close and all of our favorite (and not so favorite) Summer movies are graduating. Check out where they land in categories like “best hair,” “class clown,” and “most likely to succeed.”
Before the Summer movie class of 2013 heads off to DVD/BlU-Ray/Cable University, we wanted to take a moment to look back on some of the most memorable movies, moments, and characters (for better or for worse).
Class Clown
‘This is The End’
This movie pulled off one of the best pranks of all time, tricking us into thinking we’d just be watching a run-of-the-mill Seth Rogan comedy, but actually turning in one of the most epic apocalypse films in the last decade (which had its fair share).
Admit it – things got pretty real amongst the masturbation jokes and self-deprecating humor. Also, the ending contained one of the greatest and most hilarious surprises of the summer. Well done, This is the End, well done. You made us laugh. You made us cry. You made us proud.
Honorable Mention: The Heat
Adding to a summer of original comedies, Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy gave us all out buddy-cop movie gold, and for that, we thank them.
Perfect Attendance
Tony Stark shows up on time consistently nearly every summer to satisfy our need for a fast-talking, slightly tortured, sarcastically hilarious, but undeniably bad-ass super hero. Iron Man had the highest attendance of the Summer (and the year), bringing in over $1.2 billion worldwide.
Stark’s attendance is so good, he’s already signed up to attend the Avengers reunion in 2015. What a guy!
Honorable Mention: Much Ado About Nothing
Joss Whedon’s take on Shakespeare’s romantic comedy showed up in only 222 theaters and made over $4.2 million, making it one of the top grossing limited release films of the year. It helped reinforce why we would vote for Joss Whedon as class president every summer if we could.
Worst Attendance
‘After Earth’
Will Smith was officially unseated as the summer box-office king and son, Jaden dashed hopes of becoming the proverbial fresh prince anytime soon.
After Earth failed U.S. economics, bringing in less than half of it’s $130 million budget, here in the states.
Not only, did audiences barely show up to see the futuristic action flick, but it disappeared from theaters almost 2 weeks after it opened. Luckily, the father-son vehicle found some success as a foreign exchange student, making over $180 million overseas.
Best Dressed
‘The Great Gatsby’
Regardless of how you felt about Gatsby’s taste in music, you can’t deny that the film was remarkably dressed. From the sets (real and computer generated), to the costumes, hair, and make-up, The Great Gatsby showed up this summer looking absolutely flawless.
We wouldn’t be surprised if our friend Oscar invited the style star to his end of the year party.
Cutest Couple
‘White House Down’ & ‘Olympus Has Fallen’
Like Armageddon & Deep Impact, or Volcano & Dante’s Peak before them, these two lovebirds almost made us sick, dressing in matching outfits and basically finishing each other’s sentences.
If we weren’t suckers for gritty secret service agents, explosions, and Morgan Freeman, we probably would have thrown up from all the White House-action-movie PDA we saw this summer.
Honorable mention: Jesse & Celine Wallace from Before Midnight
These two have been steeling our hearts since 1995, so we figured they’ve probably reached alumni status by now.
Favorite Foreign Exchange Student
‘The World’s End’
Simon Pegg and his band of merry men transferred in late in the summer, but quickly became one of our favorite films. While it’s premise bared a resemblance to a certain class clown, The World’s End had a style all its own.
This British import was charming, chaotic, and hilarious in the way only an Edgar Wright comedy could be.
Most Likely to Impress at the 10-year Reunion
‘The Way, Way Back’
You know that kid you barely notice in high school that will probably show up to the reunion lookin’ extra fly? We’re pretty sure The Way Way Back is that kid for the summer movie class.
This film tells the kind of coming of age story that will likely make it an after-the-fact classic. It enjoyed word of mouth success and boasted an awesome all-star cast.
With popular kids like Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell, and Allison Janney hanging around, we have a feeling this film has major potential for longevity. It’s probably just a late bloomer.
Honorable Mention: The Spectacular Now
This limited-release coming of age hit reminds us of the kind of ’80s classics that we still connect with today. It definitely has cult-classic potential.
Least Likely to Succeed
‘The Lone Ranger’
The Lone Ranger was good-looking, ran with the right crowd, and even got pretty decent grades. All the attributes were there, but it didn’t quite make the cut. After all it’s preparation, The Lone Ranger got wait-listed by Sequel University, which is actually a pretty easy school to get into these days.
The ‘You Tried’ Award
Man of Steel
Look, Man of Steel, we want to like you. We really do. You had “most likely to succeed” potential, but somehow it seemed wasted.
Your cinematography and musical composition grades were definitely above average, but you should probably re-take creative writing and maybe a little history if you want to make it at Sequel University.
Hey, you’ll get ’em next time, Tiger! At least we hope so.
Honorable Mention: The Wolverine
We love Wolverine as much as the next guy, but we definitely feel like it’s time he started hanging out with his friends again. We hear an Alumni mixer is set for Summer 2014, he should probably check that out.
Most Likely to Succeed
‘Star Trek: Into Darkness’
Star Trek: Into Darkness was best all around this summer. The follow-up to 2009’s Star Trek got good grades, met our expectations, and even got the coolest kid in school (Benedict Cumberbatch) to show up to the party.
Not only did this film strengthen our hope that J.J. Abrams is game to take on Star Wars when the time comes, but it got us excited for the next installment of the Star Trek series.
Honorable Mention: World War Z
This zombie thriller went beyond our admittedly low expectations, managing to out-maneuver most of our zombie movie fatigue and for that, we must recognize it.
There they are. This is the Summer class of 2013 in all their glory (and shame). Most of them will go on to have bright futures, while others will live forever in the tombs of the $5 bin at Target. Regardless, 2013 was definitely a summer to remember.