Asgard came to Earth tonight in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 1, episode 8, “The Well.” Check out our rhyming recap of the Thor crossover, and share your thoughts on the episode!
Here’s what happened in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 1, episode 8!
The episode opens with Simmons’ narration
Explaining the team’s current work situation
Though Thor saved the universe from certain doom
He didn’t send down Asgard’s magical broom
So now Coulson’s team, who are hard to impress
Are up to their eyeballs in alien mess.
In Norway a couple cut down an old tree
And pull out an object of pure mystery
The woman grabs hold, starts to grunt and to glower
And winds up with plus-ten in Rage Punching Power.
Later, the team starts their investigation
Simmons climbs trees with her imagination
It turns out we’re playing an alien card
The mystery relic came down from Asgard!
The culprits turn up, because what are the odds?
Oslo’s attacked by these wannabe-gods.
Coulson seeks answers in magic and lore
And talks to a guy who knows stuff about Thor
Elliot Randolph, a creepy professor
(He hits on poor Simmons, but doesn’t impress her.)
He says that the staff is just one part of three
Brought by a berserker who loved planet E
The staff holds the power of strength-induced rage
But where the next piece is, he says he can’t gauge.
They follow the clues to a church in Seville
But the power they seek is not just sitting still
It’s coming up fast, and Ward gets bowled over
By Elliot Randolph, the fragment’s new holder.
Unwisely, Ward touches the old souvenir
And drowns in a memory flooded in fear
A child in danger, a water-filled well
And when he wakes up, Ward is promising hell.
Randolph escapes for the span of a second
But Petra arrives much more quickly than reckoned
Phil follows him to a car that just landed
And must take Professor R in empty-handed.
Back on the Bus, Ward is semi-berserk
Adrenaline’s making him act like a jerk
He tells Fitz and Simmons and Skye they are worthless
But it’s all okay, cuz he’s doing it shirtless.
Randolph insists that he knows nothing more
But Coulson says he’s dealt with ETs before
For Randolph it might just be scholarly fun
For Phil, this new threat is a personal one.
Ward talks to Coulson about what he’s feeling
Memories from which there can be no healing
He says he can’t trust himself, having that rage
But Coulson trusts him – and it’s time to engage.
So Ward jams a knife into Randolph’s right arm
But the pudgy professor does not come to harm
He handles the blade like it’s not even hard
Ladies and gents, guess who comes from Asgard?
FitzSimmons and Skye all geek out at the news
It turns out the tales were pretty much true
Randolph came down, and it turns out he stayed
Quite frankly, because it could help him get laid.
The team’s off to Ireland, quick as can be
In search of Berserker Staff Bit Number Three
Ward wants to know when the rage-y part fades
And Ruldoph assures him – a few short decades.
They locate the piece without too much ado
But are then interrupted by Norwegian dudes
The leader stabs Randolph right through his old chest
So Ward grabs the staff to take care of the rest.
Simmons attempts to play her doctor-part
But her training neglected the alien hearts
Asgardians heal much more quickly than classic
So Coulson goes hand-first in Randolph’s thoracic.
Meanwhile Ward, going totally wild
Gets lost in the memory of being a child
Desperate to help his young brother who’s drowning
But stopped by the other who says, coldly frowning:
He knew just what Grant had been planning to do;
“If you throw him the rope, then I’ll throw you in, too.”
And when Ward awakes from the terrible dream
Not a conscious opponent remains to be seen.
When Petra arrives, he stands up wearily
But Agent May firmly says, “This time, let me.”
Though Petra attacks, her blow barely lands
The staff comes together in Agent May’s hands
She swiftly dispatches the blond-haired berserker
Once again taking home ‘World’s Most Valuable Worker.’
Later, Ward asks how she held all three parts
Of the staff that clawed into their minds and their hearts
The answer is simple – and awful – for May;
She sees her worst nightmares each and every day.
Rudolph asks Coulson’s advice where to go
He’s now sort of over the whole Europe show
Phil hints at Tahiti (it’s almost ironic)
And makes sure to praise Portland’s philharmonic.
The team earns a night in an Irish hotel
To Skye, Ward admits he is not doing well
But the fandom explodes with an old-fashioned BOOM
When he follows Melinda May into her room.
In the tag, Coulson gets a massage by the sea
WE WONDER WHAT COUNTRY THIS HAS GOT TO BE.
He asks, with a sleepy and unconcerned smile
“Did I fall asleep?” “For a little while.”
Reassured that Tahiti’s a magical place
He wakes up in terror, sweat gilding his face.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be back next week with season 1, episode 9, “Repairs.”