The great thing about Hypable, being by fans for fans, is that we already know that everyone on here is somewhat fandom obsessed. So the next stage is confessions: I share my 10 weirdest real-life fandom secrets, and hope that you’ll join me and share some of your own!

As I was compiling this list, I realised something surprising: as big of a part of my life as fandom has been for the past 10+ years, it actually hasn’t affected my life in any particularly big ways. I’ve always kept whatever I do online very separate from real life, actually – at least until I had to explain to all my friends what this website called “Hyperbole” was (and tell them that no, I wasn’t spelling it wrong).

No, the ways in which different fandoms have influenced my life are mostly small, and I wouldn’t even have realised that I do half of these things because of fandom if I hadn’t made this list. So check out 10 of the most profound (ish) ways in which different fandoms have affected my life, and tell us your own fandom confessions in the comments!

1. Buffy and the Twinkie obsession

Fun fact: I had never seen a real-life Twinkie until last year when I moved to the UK, because we don’t have them back home. So when I was first introduced to the product in an early episode of Buffy, I thought it was this mysterious, magical food that would make Xander Harris fall in love with me if I ever got my hands on one. I’m still waiting for Xander, but the Twinkie was pretty awesome.

2. Harry Potter and the unfaltering belief in the power of chocolate

Remus Lupin taught me that chocolate keeps away Dementors, and I absolutely believe this to be true. Of course, we all know that Lupin was stating a fact; all that crap about a little bit of dark chocolate making you live longer and have brighter skin, etc. is medically proven.

But that’s not what I took away from his lesson. I’m talking a big fat slab of Honeydukes’ finest, which you need to wolf down – no pun intended, Remus – to make your sorrows go away. And don’t you go telling me that it won’t work!

3. Friends and the irrational desire for cheesecake

Here’s the thing… I don’t even really like cheesecake. Is it cake? Is it cheese? Is it jell-o in disguise? I just don’t know, and that freaks me out. But whenever I see cheesecake, I want it, because I imagine it’s some kind of ridiculously decadent concoction from Mama’s Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois, like what Chandler and Rachel ate off the floor…. I need help.

Actually, I think Friends probably influenced me a lot in general. It sure has a lot to do with why I spend so much time in coffee houses. I study, I hang out with friends, I read, I write… and sometimes I just go there and sit down for no reason whatsoever. I think my prolonged exposure to Friends has somehow made me believe that the meaning of life is drinking coffee from big cups in public places. Like, that is the entire point of existing, and everything else we do is just to fill up time between cafe visits, and to earn money for more overpriced coffee.

4. Zelda and the wish to travel the world on horseback

I first played Ocarina of Time when I was nine, and I think Epona made a horseshoe-imprint on my brain… in the non-damaging way though, I hope. I did take riding lessons as a kid, but I was never particularly into horses. Well, I liked the riding part, but not all the time we needed to spend brushing tails and cleaning hooves.

What I was into was the idea of grabbing my sword and shield (otherwise I couldn’t leave the Kokiri Forest, after all) and jumping on my horse and galloping away over the fields towards all my adventures and the cool people I’d surely meet along the way (and they’d just be standing around waiting for me to ride by, ready to repeat their stock phrases and tell me where to find treasure and Gold Skulltula).

5. Buffy and the boxing bag envy

I always wanted a training room like the one the Scoobies made Buffy in season 5. In fact, for many years season 5 was my favourite season, and I’m pretty sure that training room (and maybe Spike a little bit too) was the reason why.

I’ve never boxed – I tried kickboxing a few times with my mum and almost pushed her out the window (sorry mum!), and I did a bit of Ju Jitsu as a teenager, but honestly it’s not like I fight people or have any real interest in punching things. But I always wanted to do like street fighting and stunt training and all that stuff, solely so I could have an awesome workout montage like Buffy did (I’d even take the one from the movie, that’s how desperate I am).

6. Pokemon and discovering the point of cycling

When my brother was younger, he used to play a lot of Pokemon on his GameBoy. Oh, who am I kidding, I used to play a lot of Pokemon on his GameBoy. And I still sometimes play Pokemon when I’m on the bus. Anyway, so, obviously I want Pokemon to be real and to just run off and be a trainer, but even more unusually, Pokemon really made biking a lot more fun for me. I guess because in the game it’s such a great moment when you get the bike and you can suddenly move around a lot faster, and this just made me realise that this is also true in real life!

When doing a monotonous physical activity I often find that daydreaming helps the time pass, and surely imagining that you are on the way to Viridian City to buy some more Pokeballs is no better or worse than pretending you are in a ’50s movie (which I also sometimes do. Biking really bores me).

7. Harry Potter and the general redhead appreciation

Is it weird that at different points in my life I’ve wanted to date Ron Weasley and be Ginny Weasley? But it’s okay, ’cause obviously I wouldn’t want that at the same time! Anyway, I seriously have wanted to be a redhead for the past 10 years, and only my pathological fear of all my hair falling out has prevented me from dyeing it.

Let’s discount movie-Ginny for a second and look at the awesome, if sidelined, book character: she’s pretty damn badass. And maybe I’ve just been reading too much fanfiction, but I think that Ginny pretty much owns the universe. JK Rowling made it cool to be ginger, and I bet I’m not the only one left with a lingering Weasley obsession post-Hogwarts.

8. Podcasts and why I don’t listen to the radio anymore

Ever since discovering podcasts five years ago (while in London for a little Potter thing called the Deathly Hallows midnight release party, nbd), radio just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. Believe me, I’ve tried; I wanna be the kind of person who listens to the radio and gets some great insightful general knowledge about life and politics and traffic conditions. But I just don’t care about traffic conditions! Or weather reports! Or whatever crap songs they put on loop all day.

Podcasts are brilliant because they give you whatever you want, whenever you want it, and you know that every minute of every show is going to interest you. Plus, when you find really good general interest podcasts (shoutout to MetroBuzz, a fantastic show I discovered recently), you actually learn things that other people care about, too!

9. Pretty much all fandoms and why I instinctively trust anyone named Jack

I only just realised that yes, this is 100% true, and this one scares me a little! Because, um, Jack the Ripper? Kind of proves that not all people named Jack are nice! But in my head they are, and it’s all fandom’s fault. First of all, there’s Jack Shephard from Lost. I know a lot of people never liked him, but I did. He was brave and nice and taught Kate to count to five and man, I would have followed him to any island.

Then there was Jack in The Tribe, who was probably my first TV crush (as random as that is). And Captain Jack Harkness? A big flirt, but ultimately trustworthy and a great help to the Doctor. Jack Bristow is only the most awesome dad ever. Jack Bauer’s pretty cool. Jack from Titanic, well, I can forgive the hair because he did that romantic arm thing. Jack Sparrow may have been a pirate, but he turned out to have a good heart. Jack Frost was the kids’ best friend until he melted (oops, spoiler alert)! You see what I’m saying? Fiction has somehow instilled in me an inherent trust in the name Jack and anyone who bears it.

10. Lost and the red shoe phobia

This is definitely the weirdest of all these confessions. This is a judgement-free zone, yes? I admit that I am a little superstitious sometimes, just like “knock on wood” stuff, but this is definitely one of the most unreasonable superstitions in my life.

Okay, here goes. Ever since the episode of Lost in which Ms. Hawkins predicted that a man wearing bright red shoes would be crushed by a building, I have not been able to buy or wear red shoes. No red Converse, wellies, or pumps for me. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Lost, what have you done to me?!

So. Phew. I totally just trolled myself, but I feel so relieved now. And hey, it’s your turn! Take to the comments and confess the things you do because of fandom!