Rita Skeeter (J.K. Rowling) has published a new report from the Quidditch World Cup where members of Dumbledore’s Army, including the trio, are in attendance.

The 1,500 word piece was clearly written by Skeeter using her Quick Quotes Quill, as the majority of the new short story openly speculates how each member of Dumbledore’s Army is doing these days. Is Ron’s hair thinning? Why does Harry have a new scar? Are Neville and Hannah alcoholics?

The story was published on Pottemore as the latest in a series of Quidditch World Cup reports. Most of the Cup coverage that we’ve seen on Pottermore so far has been written by Ginny Weasley who has served as the Daily Prophet’s Quidditch correspondent.

Read a portion of Rowling’s new Harry Potter story below.

There are celebrities – and then there are celebrities. We’ve seen many a famous face from the wizarding world grace the stands here in the Patagonian Desert – Ministers and Presidents, Celestina Warbeck, controversial American wizarding band The Bent-Winged Snitches – all have caused flurries of excitement, with crowd members scrambling for autographs and even casting Bridging Charms to reach the VIP boxes over the heads of the crowd.

But when word swept the campsite and stadium that a certain gang of infamous wizards (no longer the fresh-faced teenagers they were in their heyday, but nevertheless recognisable) had arrived for the final, excitement was beyond anything yet seen. As the crowd stampeded, tents were flattened and small children mown down. Fans from all corners of the globe stormed towards the area where members of Dumbledore’s Army were rumoured to have been sighted, desperate above all else for a glimpse of the man they still call the Chosen One.

The TL;DR version of this ‘Potter’ short story

Remember, this is all according to gossip columnist Rita Skeeter…

– Ron’s hair is thinning (“whose famous ginger hair appears to be thinning slightly”).
– Harry’s hair is turning a little gray, but he still wears his iconic round glasses (“couple of threads of silver in the famous Auror’s black hair”).
– Harry has a new scar (“Potter is sporting a nasty cut over his right cheekbone”) but we don’t know why.
– Celestina Warbeck, a new performer at Diagon Alley which opens today at Universal Orlando, is specifically name checked.
– Voldemort has a new nickname now that he is dead (“He Who Could Not Be Named’s”).
– Hermione is excelling at the Ministry of Magic (“she is now tipped to go even higher within the Ministry”).
– Neville’s wife is looking to get a gig at Hogwarts (“Hannah has not only retrained as a Healer, but is applying for the job of Matron at Hogwarts”).
– Teddy Lupin and Bill Weasley’s daughter may be interested in one another (“Victoire seems to be attracted to any dark corner where Master Lupin happens to be lurking”).
– Call us hopeful, but it seems like Rowling is hinting at new Harry Potter stories (“Dumbledore’s Army: The Dark Side of the Demob will be available from Flourish and Blotts on July 31st,” “Is the Chosen One embroiled in fresh mysteries that will one day explode upon us all, plunging us into a new age of terror and mayhem?”)

What’d you think of this little treat from J.K. Rowling?

Unfortunately we can’t believe many of the details written here since Skeeter is the author of this report, but it was a fun read anyway.

This is one of very few times that the Harry Potter author has published details about her characters post-Deathly Hallows. Despite the tease of a new book about Dumbledore’s Army, a rep for Rowling tells The Bookseller that there are no more plans for post-Deathly Hallows stories.