For the following ships, it’s time to call it quits.
Sorry… and please don’t send hate mail.
Ships that need to sink
Connor & Oliver – ‘How to Get Away With Murder’
Before you draw your weapons, this ship doesn’t need to sink because of the two parties involved. In fact, Connor and Oliver are great together, they balance each other out quite well. The problem is external factors. “True love conquers all!” you scream from a distance, but not if one of them is dead.
Thanks to Annalise, Frank, Bonnie, and the Keating Five, Connor is involved in some messed up stuff, and his relationship with Oliver puts Oliver at risk. Oliver has already put himself in danger more than he should have. Admit it, you thought he was a dead man when you saw that spilled milk. Connor and Oliver are super cute together, but we’re thinking of Oliver’s safety, and he’s better off ditching the group (and Connor) before something really bad happens to him.
Belle & Rumplestiltskin – ‘Once Upon a Time’
How many times will this book nerd give the crocodile a second chance? Belle needs to get her nose out of the pages of those fairy tales and realize that her happy ending can come in another form than a relationship with Rumple. Sure, she ended their relationship, but it wouldn’t be the first time she did this and gave him another chance. No more chances. Belle needs to fully let go and stop giving Rumple the power to break her heart over and over. This ship needs to not only sink, but go full Titanic and crash into an iceberg, never to sail again.
Mary & Henry – ‘Downton Abbey’
We demand one more special to rectify this situation. After three seasons of dealing with Mary’s suitors and romantic troubles, she landed on Henry Talbot. What a bore. Any chemistry they had felt forced. Even Tom had more of a connection with Henry than Mary.
How successful can a pairing be if one half of that pair spends most of the season pushing the other half away, saying she’s isn’t interested? Not to mention, Mary’s family was opposed to their union all until the very end, when suddenly they’re okay with it. Perhaps it was unrealistic to hope that Mary and Tom would marry, but what of Charles Blake, or literally anyone else? If Mary had ended up single, that still would have been a more interesting ending than her marriage to Henry Talbot. Perhaps all we can do now is pretend it never happened, and drown our sorrows in fan fiction.
Carter & Kendra – ‘Legends of Tomorrow’
Here’s yet another woman who’s being forced into a relationship. This ship should fly into Ancient Egypt and stay there, because the past is in the past, and the present doesn’t care.
Carter and Kendra are soul mates, or so we’re told, and that’s the problem. Carter is constantly saying that he and Kendra are in love, and have been for centuries, but Kendra not only doesn’t remember, she doesn’t feel it. Cue Carter nagging her that she will remember, she just has to try. Evidently this nagging did the trick, because apparently Kendra cares about Carter now. This relationship is weak and literally forced (because true love means repeatedly telling someone she’s in love with you, right?), and we’re just not buying it. Carter may be gone right now, but he’ll come back eventually, and for ours and Kendra’s sake, hopefully it won’t be for a while.
Rick & Jessie – ‘The Walking Dead’
Rick and Jessie actually make a great pair, but Jessie’s pair of sons are a perpetual wrench in the relationship. Jessie’s not worth that much baggage. Sam is an idiot, even for a kid, and Ron seems to take after his dad (#PorchDick). Maybe part of it isn’t Sam’s fault, he seems to be babied much more than he should be (except by Carol, you go Carol), but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. He’s useless and will get people killed. As for Ron, it’s like early Carl all over again: an arrogant little twerp who thinks he’s hot stuff but is actually an idiot who will also get people killed.
If Jessie’s kids happen to die in an ‘unfortunate accident,’ then maybe Rick and Jessie can be together. Then again, Rick and Michonne definitely needs to happen at some point, and this thing with Jessie will only postpone that.