Hypable’s 6 most ridiculous headlines of 2012

1:30 pm EST, December 31, 2012

Shakira and a sea lion. Kanye and Theraflu. A goat named Voldemort. What do these things have in common? They’re all headlines that appeared in 2012, much to the enjoyment and bewilderment of fans around the world.

2012 proved to be a spectacular year in the entertainment industry. It was filled with highs and lows, famous births and deaths, new shows coming in and old shows going out. Let’s not forget that we saw the debut of some magnificent movies, some catchy songs, and some addicting video games. Not to mention all the broken records.

But amongst these shining headlines, there’s always going to be some rather questionable stories. 2012 was no stranger to these weird, awkward, and downright bizarre articles. Check out our six favorite headlines, and let us know which ones you enjoyed most by voting in the poll and hitting up the comments section below!

“Shakira attacked by sea lion, smartphone mistaken for a fish

While on vacation, Shakira decided to get a closer look at some sea lions that were resting on the beach. She was taking pictures with her smart phone when one jumped out of the water, roared, and tried to bite her. Luckily for the singer, her brother came to her rescue, and they escaped with minor injuries caused by the beach’s sharp rocks.

Shakira believes the sea lion mistook her shiny phone as a fish, which is why it leapt at her and tried to attack. Let this be a lesson to all: make sure your phone or camera doesn’t look like food if you’re going to take pictures of wild animals.

Or, better yet, be smart enough to not get too close to wild animals in the first place.

Kanye West angers PETA, Theraflu with new song

If we had to pick three random words to put into a single headline in an attempt to create the most ridiculous title imaginable, we’re not sure even we would’ve been able to come up with something like ‘Kanye,’ ‘PETA,’ and ‘Theraflu.’ Not that we’re surprised. The name Kanye West has been synonymous with controversy for years. With lyrics like, “Tell PETA my mink is dragging on the floor” and “Way too cold, I promise you’ll need some Theraflu,” it’s no wonder the animal rights organization and the cold medicine company got up in arms.

Being associated with Kanye usually has its consequences. The lyrics were never changed for the song (not that we actually expected they would be), but the title was switched from “Theraflu” to “Cold.” We’d say this was probably a lose-lose for both parties.

“Tupac hologram might go on tour, has a Twitter

The levels of bizarre in this story are outstanding and multi-layered. Let’s start off with the most obvious, which was that – yes – that was a Tupac hologram that rapped onstage this past April at Coachella. Though we can’t say that it wasn’t cool to see Tupac on stage again, we will also state right here, right now that we feel like we’re in a sci-fi movie. Other entertainers will be next – there’s already been talk of Elvis being resurrected – and then what? We’re sure it won’t end there. But beyond this entertaining yet slightly disturbing technology, there was also talk Tupac might end up going on tour, according to Dr. Dre himself.

There’s been no official follow-up story since, and even though it spawned a parody Twitter, it’s been as silent as the grave for a while now. (Sorry.) Even with the company behind the hologram going bankrupt, we still think there’s a market for this business.

“Hotel replaces the Bible with Fifty Shades of Grey'”

Even though we pretty much consider every headline that includes Fifty Shades worthy of ridiculousness to the highest degree, this one has to take the cake. A hotel owner decided to take out all the Bibles from the bed-side drawers and replace them with Fifty Shades of Grey.

He figured in a world that was becoming more secular, it was pointless to keep the Bible in the room. Why not pick something that people would actually read? While we can’t say that his logic doesn’t have its merit, our first choice wouldn’t have been an erotica novel.

Harry Potter, on the other hand, is another story.

But then again, maybe we’re biased.

“Wild goat named Voldemort chases after boy, runs him up a tree

Let it be known to any future pet owners that naming your animal after the Dark Lord could have dire consequences. This particular story couldn’t have been more perfect if it had been planned out from the get-go.

A goat named Voldemort got loose early in the morning and began wandering through the main streets of its hometown. It came face to face with a young boy, who it promptly chased up the tree.

The Boy Who Lived is fine, and Voldemort has been returned to his home. The only thing that could have made this story truly spectacular would’ve been if his owner was named Aberforth.

Oh, well.

‘Jurassic Park’ in real life? Australian billionaire rumored to be cloning personal dinosaur

This one has got to win the award for being the most head-turning story of the year. And, okay, maybe there’s no real merit to the story to begin with, but just the fact that it WAS a story made it worthy of our list.

Clive Palmer is the guy rumored to be looking to spend his money on a project like this. He’s denied the claims, but who knows? With technological advances outstripping our wildest dreams left and right nowadays, we suppose anything is possible.

Not that it SHOULD be done, mind you. Pro tip, Palmer: Watch the movie. There will be fatalities.

Which story do you think was the most ridiculous of 2012?

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