The Good Place quotes are always hilarious! Prepare for The Good Place season 3 with a collection of the best quotes from seasons 1 and 2.
Disguised as a hilarious comedy, The Good Place is in fact uncommonly profound, packed with clever observations about the human condition and cutting jokes ranging from the existential nature of frozen yogurt to the existential nature of, well, us.
To prepare you for another season of divine goodness when The Good Place season 3 premieres on September 27, we have collected the 19 best The Good Place quotes from Michael, Janet, Chidi and the rest that perfectly sum up life, the universe and everything.
Look no further for the best pieces of life advice, clever observations, and less clever observations from The Good Place seasons 1 and 2!
The 19 best ‘The Good Place’ quotes
‘In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×09
While you should always seek to improve your already fabulous self, this confidence-booster from Janet (D’Arcy Carden) is worth repeating to yourself every once in a while.
‘Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11
Chidi (William Jackson Harper) says a lot of smart things, occasionally a little too smart for comfort.
‘The point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good, cause you’re good at everything. You’re awesome! Be nicer to yourself.’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04
Jason (Manny Jacinto) might not seem, act or — let’s be honest — be as smart as Chidi, but that does not mean he isn’t wise and, more importantly, kind.
‘Hi, guys! I’m broken.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×06
Honestly? Probably the most relatable thing anyone on The Good Place has ever said.
‘I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 2×05
We know now that Tahani (Jameela Jamil)’s confidence is partly an act, but she really does believe herself to be fabulous. We could all stand to be a bit more like Tahani.
‘It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×01
Haaaaaaaa haha. Yep.
‘I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03
Also, incidentally, relevant when talking about the state of the internet.
‘Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×07
Eleanor (Kristen Bell)’s statement here is ironic, but also true. It’s almost like being a terrible person isn’t worth it.
‘Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That’s how you got Beyoncé. – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 1×04
I mean, who can argue with that one?
‘I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×13
Chidi delivers yet another profound line here about just how the quest for goodness at the heart of The Good Place comes into being.
”Fair’ is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for staycation.’ – Shawn, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11
While we all like to believe that fairness is a universal and earned value, Shawn (Marc Evan Jackson) sees through the bullshit. ‘Fair’ is a construct that we all have to fight to maintain.
‘I can’t believe Michael betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?’ – Jason, ‘The Good Place’ 2×08
Jason isn’t wrong. It’s amazing how much we keep going back to people who have hurt or betrayed us in the past, convincing ourselves that this time will be different.
‘Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03
As much as we like to believe otherwise, it has been scientifically proven that everybody lies. Constant vigilance!
‘If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×12
We are all Chidi when it comes to having to make choices. Choices are the worst.
‘Now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×10
Pretty much the human experience summed up in a sentence, tbh.
‘You know, sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful. Like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 1×02
Well… half of that quote was very profound, anyway.
‘Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide. How does anyone do anything when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04
Michael might be hitting on a hard truth about human existence and the lies we tell ourselves, but to borrow a quote from another great show about life and death and everything in between, the aptly titled Angel: “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”
‘It turns out the best Janet was the Janet that was inside Janet all along.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 1×03
Once again, Janet delivers a fantastic quote about self-confidence and believing in yourself. Especially when you are not-a-robot.
‘Pobody’s nerfect.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×11
Last but certainly not least, let us all take a moment and marvel at the simple wisdom of Eleanor Shellstrop, whose immortal words “pobody’s nerfect” may remind us that, indeed… we’re all definitely going to the Bad Place.