The Good Place quotes are always hilarious! Prepare for The Good Place season 4 with a collection of the best quotes from the first three seasons.
Disguised as a hilarious comedy, The Good Place is in fact uncommonly profound, packed with clever observations about the human condition and cutting jokes ranging from the existential nature of frozen yogurt to the existential nature of, well, us.
And now, in the aftermath of the fourth and final season, we officially dub this… The Sad Place.
But to celebrate everything about The Good Place, we have collected the 63 best The Good Place quotes from Michael, Janet, Chidi and the rest that perfectly sum up life, the universe and everything.
Look no further for the best pieces of life advice, clever observations, and less clever observations from all four seasons of The Good Place!
The 63 best ‘Good Place’ quotes
“Come on, you know how this works. You fail and then you try something else. And you fail again and again, and you fail a thousand times, and you keep trying because maybe the 1,001st idea might work. Now, I’m gonna and try to find our 1,001st idea.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×02
Michael goes all-in on the “if at first you don’t succeed” thing, reminding Eleanor (and us) that some things are worth fighting for, no matter what.
“The problem is, if all you care about in the world is the velvet rope, you will always be unhappy, no matter which side you’re on.” – Tahani Al-Jamil, The Good Place 4×03
By the final season of The Good Place, even the status-obsessed Tahani knows that real happiness can’t be found in exclusivity.
“Don’t worry, demons can’t die. He’ll slowly re-form himself over a few months, passing through all the stages of demon growth. Larvae, slug monster, spooky little girl, teenaged boy, giant ball of tongues, social media CEO, and then finally demon.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×04
Honestly, a lot of things make sense now.
“I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.” – Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place 4×05
This line isn’t just relatable, it’s a great reminder of how far Chidi has come. Pushing past your comfort zone for the right reasons can have amazing results!
“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. You asked me where my hope comes from? That’s my answer.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×06
Michael lays down the reality of human improvement to Bad Janet, and his words eventually impact her as strongly as they do the audience.
“We do nothing. We hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×07
Eleanor might be a little fatalistic in this particular quote, but still… mood.
“In football, trying to run out the clock and hoping for the best never works. It’s called “prevent defense.” You don’t take any chances and just try and hold on to your lead. But prevent defense just PREVENTS you from winning! It’s always better to try something.” – Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 4×07
Who knew that something good could actually come out of American football — and that something so wise could come out of Jason?
“Tahani improved so much over her many lives, but she also helped me improve. She taught me lots of stuff, like, bras shouldn’t be painful, and you don’t buy bras at Home Depot, and they don’t SELL bras at Home Depot, what the hell are you wearing?” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×08
Let this be a lesson to us all: Talk to your friends about their bras.
“The point is, people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” – Michael, The Good Place 4×08
With the fate of humanity at stake, Michael comes in with the knockout blow that convinces the Judge: In the right circumstances, there really is hope for us all.
“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I learned that when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down! If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to figure out what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” – Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 4×09
That’s how they say “Carpe diem” in Jacksonville.
“If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×09
At a crucial moment in Chidi’s story, Michael confesses that a major tenet of the theoretical Good Place — soulmates — isn’t exactly a reality. But if anything, the truth is even more empowering; Eleanor and Chidi haven’t found each other because they are destined, but rather because they have tried.
“It turns out life isn’t a puzzle that can be solved one time and it’s done. You wake up every day, and you solve it again.” – Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place 4×09
Chidi reacts with remarkable calm to the restoration of thousands of lives worth of memories — and more than that, an epiphany which carries him (and in many ways, the audience) through the end of the show.
“I am a strong, independent acid snake in the skinsuit of a strong, independent woman!” – Vicky, The Good Place 4×11
“I’m not just gonna sit back and turn into some slack-jawed, sweatpants-wearing orgasm machine! Oh my god, I’m describing my dream existence like it’s bad, what is wrong with this place?” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×12
Even in the Good Place, Eleanor remains Eleanor! But this time, what she wants isn’t going to get in the way of the greatest possible good. (Also goals.)
“You said that every human is a little bit sad all the time, because you know you’re going to die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×12
This rather heartbreaking reality turns out to be key to The Good Place‘s conception of ultimate reward. Human beings, in the end, might not be built for eternal happiness. Counter-intuitively, “breaking” the endless perfection of the Good Place is necessary for the kind of heaven humans need.
“This is what we’ve been looking for since the day we met. Time. That’s what the Good Place really is — it’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” – Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place 4×12
“Okay homies, you’re sad. I can tell ’cause you have the same looks on your faces that my teachers did whenever I raised my hand in class. But let’s be happy.” – Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 4×13
Jason is the first member of the group to decide to leave the Good Place, but also the first to recognize that sometimes, the difference between joy and sadness can be a choice.
It wasn’t like I heard a bell ring or anything. I just suddenly had this calm feeling, like the air inside my lungs was the same as the air outside my body. It was peaceful. – Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 4×13
Leave it to Jason to put the apex of existence in such simple, beautiful words.
His last 4,000 plays were not nearly as good as the ones he wrote on Earth. I mean, did you see “The Tempest 2: Here We Blow Again?” Woof. – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×13
Eleanor tells Chidi that Shakespare has gone through the Last Door, which is both funny and a poignant reminder of Michael’s realization. When you have eternity to create art, even the greatest artists might end up churning out more fluff than substance.
“You even picked the ideal weather. Overcast and chilly. Perfect for staying inside and reading.” – Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place 4×13
In which Chidi, in Paris, on vacation, speaks for bookworms and introverts everywhere!
“I proposed a rule that Chidis shouldn’t be allowed to leave because it would make Eleanors sad, and I could do this forever, zip you around the universe showing you cool stuff, and I’d still never find the justification for getting you to stay. Because it’s a selfish rule. I owe it to you to let you go.” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×13
Eleanor may not have completed her journey through the Afterlife yet, but it’s this conversation that crystalizes her moral development. Eleanor has cycled through selfishness, apathy, and the desire to help others, but it’s here that she choses to truly give up part of her own happiness Chidi.
It’s a heartbreaking moment, but also a keen reminder that love, and even eternal joy aren’t just about pleasing ourselves. Sometimes, the purest expression of the sublime is sacrifice.
“Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through, and it’s there, and you can see it, you know what it is. It’s a wave. And then it crashes on the shore, and it’s gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while.” – Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place 4×13
SORRY, THERE’S REALLY NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
“You know what I just discovered recently? Podcasts. There’s, like, a billion of them and they just keep coming.” – The Judge, The Good Place 4×13
For once, the Judge speaks the unvarnished truth!
“That’s what makes it special. I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human than that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×13
For a demon fire squid, Michael has a really lovely take on the essentials of humanity. And he’s right about the texting thing.
“If you rent a car, don’t pay for the insurance. It’s a scam.” – Janet, The Good Place 4×13
This is just good advice, TBH.
“I assume he’s doing the same as every human. Some good days. Some bad days. He’s got a few friends, a few people he can’t stand. He’s learning some things, all by himself, and hopefully learning to ask for help when he needs it. He’s messing up, and trying again, and messing up again, and then getting things wrong, and then trying to make them right. That’s what everyone does.” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×13
As The Good Place, and her time in the Universe, comes to an end, Eleanor muses about the beautiful mundanity of human life. The value of our days isn’t necessarily found in moments of extreme good or bad, but the ordinary experience of being — and being good — when life seems not to demand either.
“The wave returns to the ocean. What the ocean does with the water after that is anyone’s guess. But as a very wise not-robot once told me, true joy is in the mystery.” – Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place 4×13
“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence… but I love to watch you leave.” – Janet, The Good Place 4×13
Janet may be saying goodbye to her final OG human friend, but she definitely knows how to send Eleanor out on a high note.
“I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe. Take it sleazy.” – Michael, The Good Place 4×13
In the final words of The Good Place, Michael channels Eleanor’s spirit, capturing the essence of what made her journey so beautiful — a true evolution from bad to selfless good, that never deprived her of her identity or sense of humor. It’s not just a great bon mot on which to end the series, but a lovely idea; if we try hard enough, the goodness we create can live on beyond us, in the most unexpected of ways.
‘It’s not about who you know. Enlightenment comes from within. The Dalai Llama texted me that.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 3×01
Sure, Tahani’s propensity for name-carpet-bombing might not be all that relatable… but it’s still good advice!
‘Sometimes, when you’re feeling helpless, the secret is to help someone else. Get out of your own head. Trust me. The next time someone asks for help, say yes.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×01
It’s easy to get lost in our own problems, but Michael reminds Jason — and the rest of us — that acting selflessly is often the key to helping ourselves. It’s a pretty keen observation from a recovering demon!
‘I will go physically pick those up, I guess, and then walk them back here with my feet.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×02
Janet is adjusting to existence without her powers on Earth, but even us puny humans can learn from this. Sometimes, you gotta do the thing to do the thing, people!
‘Eleanor farted, and then she blamed it on her chair. That’s gonna cost her at least a few points.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×03
‘Our fates are sealed. But I think we have one move left: We can try.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×04
Here, Eleanor reveals one of the simplest and most powerful truths of The Good Place. Even when the odds seem stacked against you, even when you’re locked out of the Good Place for eternity, there is value in trying to do good. It doesn’t matter if anyone is keeping score, or even if you succeed; positive efforts and a positive attitude are valuable of themselves.
‘Ya basic. And that’s okay.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×06
Yeah, maybe you wear yoga pants all the time. Sure, maybe your only drink is white-mom Chardonnay. And maybe your life looks different from what you thought was cool, powerful, or world-changing a few years ago. That doesn’t matter! Be yourself. Be basic as fork! There’s no shame at all in enjoying the things that make you happy.
‘I tried to script your whole afterlife. And I devised a million-point plan to torture you. You made choices I never saw coming. I call that free will.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×07
You probably don’t have your own personal torture demon, but some days, it can definitely feel like it. As Michael tells Eleanor, we can still make incredible choices — no matter how much the world seems to be trying to keep us down.
‘There is some good news. There’s some cake left!’ – Neil from Accounting, ‘The Good Place’ 3×09
If you tell me you don’t want to hear those words, I’m sorry but you’re lying. If anything can turn the Medium Place into the Good Place, it’s cake.
‘We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So… I’m going to do it.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 3×09
Michael taking matters into his own hands — first seeking out Accountants, then the Good Place, and then the Judge Herself — is pretty darned inspiring. We can’t always rely on finding answers or help from others. Sometimes, it’s just down to you. And if even a once-nihilistic demon like Michael can take on the entire whole points system for the sake of all humanity, well… what can’t YOU do?
‘We’re refugees. What kind of messed up place would turn away refugees?’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10
Yeah, I mean, apropos of nothing, that’s a really good question. Don’t turn away refugees. Why would you even do that?
‘I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10
Anxiety sucks, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing you can talk yourself out of. (Visit https://www.crisistextline.org/anxiety if you need help!) But sometimes, it can help to keep the here and now in mind, instead of getting lost in the future. And after all…
‘Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 3×10
…If Mr. Anxiety himself can give it a try, so can we. Live in the moment, people!
‘Time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We’ll just get through this. And then you and I can chill out in the dot of the I forever.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12
First of all, mega “aww!” for Eleanor and Chidi’s tangled love story. But this quote is also touchingly full of hope, even as Chidi prepares to say goodbye to Eleanor and his memories. Yes, the universe and the timeline may throw curveballs in your way. You may be farther than you think from your goals or the one you love. But at the end of the day, we’ll all get through it — and all of those things that seemed so incomprehensible and scary will be the reward at the end of the journey.
‘If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, it wouldn’t be special. It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. It would just be a big, dumb food processor. But since nothing seems to make sense, when you find something or someone that does, it’s euphoria.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12
There really isn’t anything to say about these gorgeous words, but… wow. It’s the struggle that makes the victory, guys. Thanks, Janet. *blows nose*
‘I guess all I can do is embrace the pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 3×12
You said it, Eleanor.
‘In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×09
While you should always seek to improve your already fabulous self, this confidence-booster from Janet (D’Arcy Carden) is worth repeating to yourself every once in a while.
‘Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11
Chidi (William Jackson Harper) says a lot of smart things, occasionally a little too smart for comfort.
‘The point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good, cause you’re good at everything. You’re awesome! Be nicer to yourself.’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04
Jason (Manny Jacinto) might not seem, act or — let’s be honest — be as smart as Chidi, but that does not mean he isn’t wise and, more importantly, kind.
‘Hi, guys! I’m broken.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 2×06
Honestly? Probably the most relatable thing anyone on The Good Place has ever said.
‘I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 2×05
We know now that Tahani (Jameela Jamil)’s confidence is partly an act, but she really does believe herself to be fabulous. We could all stand to be a bit more like Tahani.
‘It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×01
Haaaaaaaa haha. Yep.
‘I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!’ – Jason Mendoza, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03
Also, incidentally, relevant when talking about the state of the internet.
‘Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×07
Eleanor (Kristen Bell)’s statement here is ironic, but also true. It’s almost like being a terrible person isn’t worth it.
‘Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That’s how you got Beyoncé. – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 1×04
I mean, who can argue with that one?
‘I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×13
Chidi delivers yet another profound line here about just how the quest for goodness at the heart of The Good Place comes into being.
”Fair’ is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for staycation.’ – Shawn, ‘The Good Place’ 2×11
While we all like to believe that fairness is a universal and earned value, Shawn (Marc Evan Jackson) sees through the bullshit. ‘Fair’ is a construct that we all have to fight to maintain.
‘I can’t believe Michael betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?’ – Jason, ‘The Good Place’ 2×08
Jason isn’t wrong. It’s amazing how much we keep going back to people who have hurt or betrayed us in the past, convincing ourselves that this time will be different.
‘Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×03
As much as we like to believe otherwise, it has been scientifically proven that everybody lies. Constant vigilance!
‘If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!’ – Chidi Anagonye, ‘The Good Place’ 2×12
We are all Chidi when it comes to having to make choices. Choices are the worst.
‘Now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×10
Pretty much the human experience summed up in a sentence, tbh.
‘You know, sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful. Like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.’ – Tahani Al-Jamil, ‘The Good Place’ 1×02
Well… half of that quote was very profound, anyway.
‘Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide. How does anyone do anything when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?’ – Michael, ‘The Good Place’ 2×04
Michael might be hitting on a hard truth about human existence and the lies we tell ourselves, but to borrow a quote from another great show about life and death and everything in between, the aptly titled Angel: “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”
‘It turns out the best Janet was the Janet that was inside Janet all along.’ – Janet, ‘The Good Place’ 1×03
Once again, Janet delivers a fantastic quote about self-confidence and believing in yourself. Especially when you are not-a-robot.
‘Pobody’s nerfect.’ – Eleanor Shellstrop, ‘The Good Place’ 1×11
Last but certainly not least, let us all take a moment and marvel at the simple wisdom of Eleanor Shellstrop, whose immortal words “pobody’s nerfect” may remind us that, indeed… we’re all definitely going to the Bad Place.
Last updated with The Good Place season 3 quotes August 2019