10:00 am EDT, September 13, 2016

Best ‘Stranger Things’ quotes: Oh my God, oh my God!

Throw a cabbage hard enough, it could be as effective as a fireball.

Don’t be a mouthbreathing wastoid with a stick up your butt. Check out the best Stranger Things quotes from both seasons of the hit Netflix series! It won’t take 10 hours to read, either.

Calling all Thumper fans and not-morning people! Grab a coffee, sit back, and reminisce on the best Stranger Things season 1 and season 2 quotes. You’ll love it, and not just because I told you to.

The best ‘Stranger Things’ season 1 quotes

  1. Dustin: Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.
    – Chapter One
  2. Mike: I just didn’t want you to think I was such a wastoid, you know?
    Eleven: Mike?
    Mike: Yeah?
    Eleven: I understand.
    – Chapter Three
  3. Jonathan: You shouldn’t like things just because people tell you you’re supposed to.
    – Chapter Two
  4. stranger-things-quotes-jonathan-byers

  5. Lucas: She helped just enough so she could get what she wants: food and a bed. She’s like a stray dog.
    – Chapter Five
  6. Joyce: I don’t care if anyone believes me. I am not gonna stop looking for him until I find him and bring him home! I am going to bring him home!
    – Chapter Four
  7. Dustin: Mike! I found the chocolate pudding!
    – Chapter Eight
  8. Dustin: You’re going to take out the demigorgon with a slingshot?
    Lucas: First of all, it’s a wrist-rocket.
    – Chapter Three
  9. stranger-things-quotes-lucas-wrist-rocket

  10. Hopper: Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.
    – Chapter One
  11. Jonathan: Your mom doesn’t knock?
    – Chapter Six
  12. Dustin: Can’t have more than one best friend.
    Mike: Says who?
    Dustin: Says logic.
    Mike: Well, I call bull on your logic, because you’re my best friend too.
    – Chapter Six
  13. Mike: My mom, she’s a pretty awesome cook. She can make you whatever you like.
    Eleven: Eggos?
    – Chapter Eight
  14. stranger-things-quotes-eleven-eggos

  15. Jonathan: Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.
    – Chapter Five
  16. Mike: The campaign took 2 weeks to plan! How was I supposed to know it was going to take 10 hours?
    Karen: You’ve been playing for 10 hours?
    – Chapter One
  17. Joyce: This is not yours to fix alone. You act like you’re all alone out there in the world, but you’re not. You’re not alone.
    – Chapter Seven
  18. Dustin: Why do we even need weapons anyway. We have her.
    Lucas: She shut one door!
    Dustin: With her mind!
    – Chapter Three
  19. Lucas: We’re going back to Plan A. We’re telling your mom.
    Eleven: No.
    – Chapter Two
  20. stranger-things-quotes-eleven-no

  21. Hopper: Have you ever heard of Mirkwood?
    Callahan: I have not, that sounds made up to me.
    Lucas: No, it’s from Lord of the Rings.
    Dustin: The Hobbit.
    Lucas: It doesn’t matter!
    Dustin: He asked!
    – Chapter One
  22. Florence: Only love makes you that crazy, sweetheart, and that damn stupid.
    – Chapter Six
  23. Jonathan: My dad took me hunting on my birthday. Made me kill a rabbit.
    Nancy: A rabbit?
    Jonathan: Yeah. I guess he thought it would make me into more of a man, or something. I cried for a week.
    Nancy: Jesus.
    Jonathan: What? I’m a fan of Thumper.
    – Chapter Five
  24. Ted: My God, is she Russian?
    – Chapter Seven
  25. stranger-things-quotes-ted-russian

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  26. Joyce: He’s a sensitive kid. Lonnie used to say he was queer. Called him a fag.
    Hopper: Is he?
    Joyce: He’s missing, is what he is!
    – Chapter One
  27. Lucas: Why would the Chief set us up? Nancy, maybe. But the Chief?
    Dustin: Lando Calrissian!
    Lucas: Would you shut up about Lando!
    Dustin: I don’t feel good about this. I don’t feel good about this!
    Lucas: When do you feel good about anything?
    – Chapter Seven
  28. Joyce: Well, I don’t know who’s been raising you, but I’m going to get you some new crayons because it looks like he’s shooting cabbages.
    – Chapter Five
  29. stranger-things-quotes-joyce-cabbages

  30. Marissa: You could’ve at least called, said, “Marissa, hey, it’s not gonna work out. Sorry I wasted your time. I’m a dick”
    Hopper: …Yep.
    – Chapter Three
  31. Dustin: There’s something wrong with your sister.
    Mike: What are you talking about?
    Dustin: She’s got a stick up her butt.
    – Chapter One
  32. Eleven: Mouthbreather.
    – Chapter Six
  33. stranger-things-quotes-eleven-mouthbreather

  34. Mike: You don’t need it.
    Eleven: Still pretty?
    Mike: Yeah! Pretty! Really pretty.
    – Chapter Seven
  35. Joyce: I need this phone, and two weeks’ advance.
    And a pack of Camels.
    – Chapter Two
  36. Hopper: You were right. This whole time you were right.
    – Chapter Five
  37. stranger-things-quotes-hopper-you-were-right

  38. Dustin: Accident or not, admit it, it was a little awesome.
    Lucas: Awesome?
    Dustin: She threw you in the air with her mind!
    Lucas: I could have been killed!
    – Chapter Six
  39. Steve: What the hell was that?!
    Jonathan/Nancy: Shut up!
    – Chapter Eight
  40. Dustin: Do you know anything about sensory deprivation tanks? Specifically how to build one?
    Mr. Clarke: Sensory deprivation- What is this for?
    Dustin: …Fun…
    – Chapter Seven
  41. stranger-things-quotes-dustin-fun

  42. Jonathan: Sometimes people don’t really say what they’re really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more.
    – Chapter Four
  43. Barb: He just wants to get in your pants.
    – Chapter Two
  44. Joyce: Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m out of my mind! But God help me, I will keep these lights up until the day I die if I think there’s a chance that Will’s still out there!
    – Chapter Five

The best ‘Stranger Things’ season 2 quotes

  1. Dustin: I am on a curiosity voyage, and I need my paddles to travel. These books…these books are my paddles.
    – Chapter 3
  2. Billy: Am I dreaming, or is that you, Harrington?
    Steve: Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.
    – Chapter 9
  3. Bob: What’s at the X? Pirate treasure?
    – Chapter 5
  4. Nancy: You know, out of all of my brother’s friends, you’re my favorite. You’ve always been my favorite.
    – Chapter 9
  5. Hopper: I heard that story. Did you hear the one about the fat man with the beard who climbs down chimneys?
    – Chapter 1
  6. Steve: How do you know it’s not just a lizard?
    Dustin: Because his face opened up and he ate my cat!
    – Chapter 6
  7. Eleven: Bitchin’.
    – Chapter 7
  8. Billy: You smell that, Max? That’s actually shit. Cow shit.
    Max: I don’t see any cows.
    Billy: Clearly you haven’t met the high school girls.
    – Chapter 2
  9. Jonathan: Do you wanna be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best. I’m a freak!
    Will: Is that why you don’t have any friends?
    – Chapter 1
  10. Steve: Use the shampoo and conditioner and when your hair’s damp, not wet, okay? When it’s damp, you do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray.
    Dustin: Farrah Fawcett spray?
    Steve: Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. You tell anyone I just told you that and your ass is grass.
    – Chapter 6
  11. Jonathan: You sure this is a good idea?
    Joyce: This thing has had Will long enough. Let’s kill the son of a bitch.
    – Chapter 9
  12. Dustin: Son of a bitch. You know, you’re really no help at all, you know that?
    – Chapter 5
  13. Dr. Owens: Sir Will, how are you? Mom. Pop.
    – Chapter 1
  14. Steve: You’re gonna slay ’em dead.
    Dustin: Like a lion. *purrs*
    Steve: Don’t do that, okay?
    – Chapter 9
  15. Erica: You are such a nerd.
    Lucas: Shut up.
    Erica: No wonder you only hang out with boys.
    Mrs. Sinclair: Erica!
    Erica: Just the facts. *mouthing* Nerd.
    – Chapter 2
  16. Steve: Hey! Dickheads! How come the only one helping me out is this random girl?
    – Chapter 6
  17. Hopper: Oh my god, none of this is real. This is a kid’s game.
    Dustin: It’s a manual.
    – Chapter 8
  18. Guy: Watch it, kid.
    Eleven: Mouth breather.
    – Chapter 7
  19. Bob: Bob Newby, superhero.
    – Chapter 6
  20. Dustin: Uhhh!
    Mrs. Henderson: Uhhhh!
    – Chapter 1
  21. Mike: I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.
    – Chapter 8
  22. Lucas: Dad? When Mom’s mad at you, how do you make her not mad?
    Mr. Sinclair: First, I apologize. Then I get your mother whatever she wants.
    Lucas: Even when she’s wrong?
    Mr. Sinclair: She’s never wrong, son.
    – Chapter 5
  23. Dustin: She will not be able to resist these pearls. *Purrs*
    – Chapter 1
  24. Murray: So, Jonathan, how was the pull-out?
    – Chapter 6
  25. Hopper: Just curious why all of a sudden you look like some MTV punk.
    – Chapter 9
  26. Kali: There’s nothing for you back there. They cannot save you, Jane.
    Eleven: No. But I can save them.
    – Chapter 7
  27. Mike: If we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together, right?
    Will: Yeah. Crazy together.
    – Chapter 2
  28. Lucas: You’re nothing like your brother, okay? You’re cool, and different. You’re super smart. And you’re, like, totally tubular.
    – Chapter 6
  29. Dustin: It believes it’s the master race.
    Steve: Like the Germans?
    Dustin: The Nazis?
    Steve: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis.
    – Chapter 8
  30. Will: He likes it cold.
    – Chapter 4
  31. Nancy: Excuse me, I’ll be right back.
    Steve: …It’s finger-lickin’ good.
    – Chapter 1
  32. Joyce: Will? What are you doing?
    Will: Peeing?
    – Chapter 2
  33. Hopper: I don’t want you to get hurt at all. And I don’t wanna lose you. Just make sure you heat up some real food. Not just Eggos.
    – Chapter 6
  34. Max: Hey guys, why are you headed towards the sound?
    – Chapter 8

What’s your favorite ‘Stranger Things’ quote?

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