Life lessons learned from ‘Scream Queens’

From alcohol consumption to food recipes, Scream Queens teaches it all.

10:00 am EDT, December 5, 2015

You can learn a lot from Scream Queens, but how to solve a murder case is not one of them.

You may think Scream Queens is just fluff television where a bunch of rich girls and boys scream because they’re being killed one by one, but you’d be wrong. It also has important lessons about how to deal with difficult people, fix a drink, cook a head, and so much more.

Related: What the Scream Queens are thankful for this Thanksgiving

With the season finale airing next week, and Scream Queens drawing to a close, let’s take a look at some of the things we learned from these wild characters:

scream queens cast photo

  • Drunk on wine is still drunk.
  • Put your phone on ‘sound’ not ‘vibrate’; you never know when your friend will be calling needing your help to commit murder.
  • You don’t die from getting your face burned off. Or do you…?
  • Having sex when you’re not ready could lead to pregnancy and the eventual birth of homicidal children.
  • Playlists fix every problem.
  • Need to take a relationship to the next step, but worried about going too fast? Try a salad date. It’s more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.
  • It’s not really murder if gravity does most of the work.
  • You can never be too pretty to die.
  • Feminism is not about listening to Taylor Swift sing about not pitting girls and boys against each other or knowing that women make 20% less than men in the same job.
  • All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.
  • Pushing people down stairs is not the most adult form of conflict resolution.
  • When seasoned correctly, a roasted severed head actually smells delicious.
  • Americans don’t have to understand anything.
  • There are zero dinosaurs in Hell. There are, however, water slides lined with razor blades.
  • You don’t get STDs from blood oaths, you get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.
  • Apple cider is better with nutmeg.
  • Life is a class system, and a sorority is the one place left in the world where you get to pick and choose the people around you.
  • You don’t need a man to protect you.

What’s the most important lesson ‘Scream Queens’ taught you?

Related: Playlists the Scream Queens characters get pumped up to

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