Riverdale season 4, episode 7, “Chapter Sixty-Four: The Ice Storm,” was as steamy as it was icy.
The couples took center stage in Riverdale season 4, episode 7, but the episode certainly wasn’t all about romance. When the couples weren’t canoodling, they managed to get themselves into all kinds of trouble. Maybe they should’ve just all stayed cuddled up in bed!
One couple that we haven’t seen nearly enough of, and one couple that we’ve seen entirely too much of had double date in Riverdale season 4, episode 7. At best, it was awkward. At worst, it was assault. We should’ve known F.P., Alice, Hiram and Hermione couldn’t just share some malts at Pop’s without things getting interesting.
I can’t be the only one who wishes F.P. just went through with it and gave Hiram what he deserved. I’m so angry that he is now the mayor of the town. It happened so quickly! If only Fred Andrews had been there to stop him, but if there’s one thing this episode of Riverdale made clear, he is not.
I’m hoping the men’s altercation foreshadows more trouble on the horizon for Hiram, but I’m terrified that it actually means things are about to get much more difficult for Sheriff Jones. I’m not sure what he means by his scheme to be “both” a serpent and a sheriff, but Hiram will definitely be gunning for him, so I just hope it works.
I’m still so angry that Hermione has returned to being Hiram’s doting wife, and Veronica is making it clear that she’s just as angry about her present family dynamic. She was equally upset about Dodger’s family trying to hijack Archie’s Thanksgiving dinner with a little homicide. Ironically, that was also probably Hiram’s fault!
Archie was so sweet and earnest in Riverdale season 4, episode 7. Does he have a super annoying hero complex? Absolutely. Is he also doing a good job trying to help the community? Yes! He is definitely making his father proud with this community center.
Archie’s mom also got in on that family pride in this episode. I fully agree with Veronica’s sentiment. I am “obsessed” with Mary Andrews after she pulled out the self-defense/legal jargon combo to stand up for her son.
I’d say that I hope Archie’s troubles with Dodger are over, but I think Hiram made sure that that won’t be the case for a long time. Dodger is in bad shape, but he’ll be back eventually, and I’m guessing he’s going to be out for revenge. Sounds like a mid-season finale to me!
Another storyline that I’m really hoping comes to a head in the mid-season finale is the corpse in Cheryl’s closet. I’m not sure why Cheryl and Toni think that cannibalism cancels out murder but…it doesn’t.
There’s no way Cheryl has heard the last of the Blossoms, and if and when they do return, things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better. Also, Trevor Stines is great, but I am really over having to look at Jason’s embalmed body in every episode of Riverdale. I’m ready for Cheryl and Toni to move on to bigger and better things. Or at least things that are alive!
Betty and Jughead also had a dead body to deal with in Riverdale season 4, episode 7. Surprising nobody, DuPont had zero kind words or wisdom for Jughead regarding Chipping’s death, so the dream detective team was left to their own devices.
More and more in Riverdale season 4, I’m struck by how much of a pleasure Betty and Jughead are to watch. Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse are doing an exquisite job, and their characters are so wonderfully written. They feel so natural, and their scenes are always so much fun.
I loved Betty’s arrival, the vending machine “raid” (not sure it counts if you use money), never have I ever, and every other Bughead scene in this episode. It was fun to see them do what they do best while also getting to relive a little bit of their history with the game.
I’m also intrigued by the secret society at Stonewall Prep. I’m not convinced that Brett and Donna weren’t trying to recruit Jughead with those masks. Sure, they’ve already proven they have a really messed up sense of humor with the coffin stunt, but I’m still not counting out the possibility that it was the real deal. Either way, I’m excited to see what else is uncovered about the school’s secret society.
Unfortunately, there was one part of the Stonewall storyline that I really didn’t like in this episode. It’s just not okay to accuse a woman of lying about sexual misconduct in 2019. I was so disappointed when Betty immediately jumped to Donna’s confession being a manipulative tactic. Every time media highlights this extremely rare occurrence, it sets the #MeToo movement back. Riverdale should know better.
Of course, it’s always possible that Donna is telling the truth, but even the fact that she’s being questioned is detrimental to the cause. I’m really starting to like her, and her conversation with Betty seemed very sincere. I really hope Riverdale finds some way to address this and redeem the situation in the next few episodes!
That’s almost it for this week. However, since it’s Riverdale’s senior year, each week I will be giving out some yearbook superlatives for the episode. Check them out here!
‘Riverdale’ season 4, episode 7 awards
Cutest couple: I have to give it to Bughead. Their boarding school getaway was too cute.
Best dressed: Cheryl. She just kept changing into gorgeous dress after gorgeous dress!
Hottest: Uncle Bedford. Because meat pie.
Least likely to become a celebrity chef: Archie Andrews and the deep fried disaster
Most likely to be recruited to a secret society: Jughead