1:30 pm EDT, May 17, 2013

‘Once Upon a Time’ wishlist: Characters we never want to see

ABC’s Once Upon a Time finally got picked up for a third season and we couldn’t be more excited. But… there are a few characters we don’t want to see next season.

Naturally, we have all started to brainstorm new characters that we would love to see make the transition from fairy tales, fantasies, legends, and myths to Storybrooke, Neverland, or the Enchanted Forest (if you haven’t read our Once season 3 wishlist article yet, you should definitely check it out right here). Unlike other shows or movies, Once Upon a Time has a virtually infinite amount of source material. However, just because any and all fairy tales CAN be written into the show doesn’t mean that some of them should. Here’s a list of just a few fairy tale characters that we do not think would make interesting Once characters.

The Princess from ‘The Princess and the Pea’

the princess and the pea ouat

Nobody likes a Grade-A diva. In Once, the princesses are distinguished by their kindness and goodness of heart. However, in this particular fairy tale, a girl is only suitable to be a princess if she loses sleep over a tiny bump in her bed and then complains about it. We love how the show breathes life into an array of beautiful fairy tale princesses but we really hope that they never cast this princess. She’d be better suited for reality-TV anyway.

Chicken Little

chicken little ouat

In Once Upon a Time, it pretty much always seems like the sky is falling in some way. After all, Storybrooke was almost practically wiped off the map in the season 2 finale. How annoying would it be then to watch a character run around the town yelling about how the sky is falling? It would just be so redundant. And that’s just assuming that Chicken Little would be right about something bad happening. In most versions of the tale, he’s just irritatingly paranoid. However, we would thoroughly enjoy the look on James Hook’s face if he ever met Chicken Little’s comrades like Foxy Woxy and Turkey Lurkey. Just think about how great that would be.

The Tooth Fairy

the tooth fairy ouat

In a previous Once wishlist, we said that we would enjoy seeing Santa Claus on the show and learning more about his mythology. However, not all fantastical figures are created equal. While Santa would be interesting to watch, we can’t say the same thing about the Tooth Fairy. The fairy’s only purpose is to swap some spare change for some baby teeth. Unless Henry’s going to be losing a lot of teeth (spoiler alert!) in Neverland, we can’t really envision the Tooth Fairy on Once Upon a Time. That is, unless, they introduce the Tooth Fairy as a murderer that collects victims’ teeth. Other than that, we’re not interested.

Rip Van Winkle

rip van winkle ouat

The man fell asleep for twenty years. There’s obviously not a lot of excitement happening in his life. If he popped up in Storybrooke (or any of the other worlds in the Once Upon a Time universe), we might fall asleep alongside him. The show’s creators included Dr. Frankenstein, who’s more of a literary character than a fairy tale character, so we can assume that other less Grimm-like characters will pop up in the future. We just hope that Rip won’t be one of them.

The Ugly Duckling

the ugly duckling ouat

There are enough programs on TV that show a young person being made fun of or complaining about how ugly they currently are. We get it. Puberty does not come without its growing pains and embarrassing situations. While inspiring, the story of the Ugly Duckling is just so overdone and not very interesting. It would not bring anything new or exciting to the show. The people of Storybrooke have bigger issues than pimples and crooked teeth to worry about.

What characters do you hope to never see on ‘Once Upon a Time’?

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