Hearing from your favorite author can be a dream come true. So how do you get J.K. Rowling to respond to you on Twitter?

There was once a time when the Harry Potter author was extremely quiet on Twitter, only offering us an occasional update on how busy she was. Now, she seems to really enjoy interacting with her fans.

And boy are there a lot of fans. Hundreds of people tweet her every minute whether or not she’s actively tweeting at the moment. So here’s how you, the biggest fan of them all, can get noticed.

We’ve been monitoring Jo’s Twitter activity for months in order to figure out what makes the author take notice to a particular person and reply to them. Here are our findings.

Method 1: Suck up

The suck up: Tweet to Jo that your favorite BBC show is the one based on her book, whether or not you’ve actually seen it.

The result: You made her blush!

The suck up: Tell her you love one of her books and that it should totally be a TV series.

The result: Jo reminds her followers that there actually is a show in the works!

The suck up: Compliment Jo’s skill in speaking Portuguese:

The result: Jo is strong in Portuguese, thank you very much!

Method 2: Tell her how great it was partying with her

If you went to a party with Jo, tweet her about it. Once she finally recovers she’ll tweet you back and include a photo of you two raging:

Method 3: Throw shade about Severus Snape’s character

You’ll get in a great debate.

Method 4: Invite her to brunch

COULD YOU IMAGINE? “Yes, Ms. Rowling would like a bottomless mimosa.”

Method 5: Show her foreign versions of her books

Method 6: Tell Jo you can cure her of her pain

Method 7: Show her the artwork you painted in a unique fashion

Method 8: Sneak a picture of Jo on top of the Empire State Building

And then offer this amazing response and you’ll get a second response — a kiss!!:

Method 9: Ask for writing advice

Method 10: Donate to her charity, Lumos

Whether or not you get a response, you’ll be doing a great thing!

Method 11: Act like there’s no way in hell she’ll reply to you

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