3:30 pm EDT, March 3, 2018

3 horrible ideas for ‘Harry Potter and the Cursed Child’ Part 3

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child definitely shouldn’t expand any further, especially if the future plot would be anything like these ideas.

We recently reported that the producer of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is convinced that fans are clamoring for a third installment of the controversial play. If you ask us, he really couldn’t be more wrong.

Some of the more ridiculous aspects of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child are still haunting fans, and the last thing we need is to double down on some of those mistakes. To show just how absurd the idea of another “Part” to Cursed Child would be, here are some horrible ideas for where the story could go!

‘Rosius: A love story’

Cursed Child Part 3 could pick up right where Part 2 left off, with the Rose and Scorpius love story just over the horizon. After an entire play spent building a foundation of snide comments and minimal interactions, it’s only natural that the play would end with the hope of a better tomorrow for the promising young couple.

Part 3 could follow Rosius through the rest of their years at Hogwarts, as they continue to push past Rose’s disdain and find a love deeper than the Black Lake. Move over, Ron and Hermione, the Harry Potter series has a new hot couple to obsess over.

…or not.

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One of the biggest sources of controversy surrounding Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is the kiss that Scorpius and Rose share (off-stage) near the end of the play. After setting up the beautiful friendship/potential relationship between Albus and Scorpius for the entire play, they squashed all of our #Scorbus dreams with one kiss.

If Cursed Child were to continue with a third part, it’s likely that they’d continue to explore whatever they’ve decided is there between Rose and Scorpius, moving even further away from any Scorbus potential. Even if you’re not a Scorbus shipper, nobody needs a love story between Scorpius and Rose!

‘The Bowtruckle Effect’

pickett, fantastic beasts and where to find them

There are certain characters that just couldn’t be included in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part 3 if it didn’t involve time travel, so that extra fun aspect of the play will have to make a triumphant return for the three-quel.

Harry and friends thought they’d fixed everything by going back in time and allowing Voldemort to kill Harry’s parents, but what if there’s something they’ve missed? What if all their time travel affected some other small aspect of the past that had large-scale implications for their future?

What if the change somehow caused Gringotts to be run by Pygmy Puffs, or if Ollivander was the trolley wizard, rather than a wandmaker? The wizarding world would be anarchy!

That’s why the whole gang would definitely have to go back in time yet again to set things straight. Because the more you go back in time, the closer things get to normal…right? They say all the time turners have been destroyed, but that’s a mere inconvenience when a story must be told.

‘Voldemort Returns’

The wizarding world thought he’d been vanquished once before, so who’s to say they’re not wrong again? One way for Albus Severus to truly understand everything his father’s been through is for him to also have to take on Voldy solo. Then maybe he’ll have some respect for his elders!

We thought for sure that we’d seen the last of Voldemort after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and then Cursed Child found a way to bring him back. In Part 3, we could learn that Voldemort had another Horcrux stashed away somewhere, in case of emergency.

Everyone thought that Voldemort would only choose items and deaths of importance to make Horcruxes, but he’s a smarter villain than that. He created one Horcrux that was completely inconsequential, so that it could never be found. Because why the hell wouldn’t you do that if you were serious about living forever?!

Part 3 would include the search for the mystery Horcrux, followed by an intensely choreographed battle sequence in which Albus, Severus, and Rose, the bigger, badder, better “trio” would take care of Voldemort, once and for all! Until Part 4…duh duh duhhhh.

Would you watch any of these versions of ‘Harry Potter and the Cursed Child’ Part 3?

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