Let’s face it. Glee has had some questionable plotlines through the years.
So while we look forward to the Glee season 4 finale airing Thursday, let’s take a look back. Here’s what you wish you could’ve missed on Glee:
1) Will cheats on Emma and becomes “that guy my mother warned me about.”
Looking back, it seems safe to say that Will’s first couch tryst with musical rival, Shelby Corcoran, in the season 1 episode “Hell-O” was the official start to Schuester’s narcissistic cycle of self-absorption. When Schue cheated on the adorable Miss Pillsbury (and later dumped her for not being ready to sleep with him), we saw the first hints of too-good-to-be-true-Will’s selfish side, and were shocked to find ourselves casting shame on our favorite singing mentor. Sadly, it only went downhill from there, and Will’s likeability factor never really rebounded as he started to feel less and less like a selfless teacher devoted to his students and more like a creepy thirty-year old man with no adult friends.
2) Sue marries herself in an Adidas tracksuit and popped collar.
For many fans, this is the moment that Glee officially jumped the shark that had been swimming around since the hallucinating-dentist Britney episode of season 2. Sue, who had always been bordering on just this side of ridiculously believable, finally became a caricature of herself and just became ridiculous.
3) Puck and Shelby have a secret affair a la Dawson’s Creek…only creepier.
Let’s hold off for a moment on the fact that this entire storyline was super disturbing and had vaguely Oedipal undertones to it and just focus on that it interrupted so many other much more interesting plotlines. Remember how Puck was in love with Quinn both during and after she BORE HIS CHILD? Because after a quickie season one summer break, this was never addressed again. And why did Quinn wait a year to go crazy over the loss of her baby? Also, why did no one care that she was going crazy and possibly had post-partum depression? And finally, was pink hair really the most offensive fashion statement our brilliantly snarky Quinn could come up with?
4) Mercedes gets a boyfriend and a never-ending diva love triangle.
Our Mercedes was always a sassy little spitfire, but for some reason getting a boyfriend really went to her head and just made her royally obnoxious. Her boyfriend (who was supposedly named “Shane”) encouraged her to empower herself, and she took that to mean that everyone should do exactly as she wanted all of the time.
So, after making everyone feel really bad for thinking that Rachel Berry was a good singer, she proceeded to “cheat” on Shane with Sam (Does kissing under a spotlight while singing a Boyz II Men cover count as cheating? I sort of feel like they should get a pass since Boyz II Men has the power to make you want to kiss everybody…), but then decided that she couldn’t be with Sam because they had to pay for their sins. And then we all cried listening to her sing Whitney Houston, partly because Whitney died way too young, partly because this plotline had been dragged out far beyond the point of interest, and partly because we couldn’t understand why anyone would ever, ever, when given the chance, break Sam’s precious little heart and make his beautiful trouty mouth blubber. And the once-cute will they/won’t they became a JUST END IT ALL FOR THE LOVE OF BARBS ALREADY.
5) Sam and Brittany get together and everyone’s IQ drops.
Unfortunately, by getting these two beautiful blondes together, Sam magically became an idiot and Brittany kind of became mean-spirited, thereby making two fan-favorite characters increasingly unbearable. Sam was introduced to us as kind of a closeted nerd, so he should know what a debate is, and he DEFINITELY KNOWS WHO INDIANA JONES IS. And while her relationships with Artie and Santana usually made Brittany come off as sweetly naïve, her relationship with Sam has given her an air of arrogance. She was pretty cocky with that whole SAT score thing, amiright? And was a (sarcastic?) “He’s the first person to do a Sean Connery impression” really the best thing this girl could come up with for her boyfriend’s self-esteem boosting video?
With any luck, by the end of the year, this relationship will go the way of Samcedes, and after so much unnecessary drama, Glee will choose to never address it again and instead hope that viewers have a form of memory loss that causes them to block out all unwanted or inconvenient plotlines of the past. And while this lack of continuity would have once annoyed me to no end, now when stories like this get dropped, I’m just grateful.
Remember Gleeks, we gripe because we care. Glee‘s season 4 finale airs on Thursday at 9 p.m. EST on Fox.