Back at McKinley, the blondes are dealing with a bit of constructive criticism from their far more grounded running-mates. Artie admits to Brittany that a large percentage of students plan on attending the debate in order to hear her say something stupid. He struggles telling her this, not wanting to hurt her, but she still walks off, offended. Artie sweetly tells her that she’s not stupid, that she’s very creative and that her brain exists in a “magical other dimension where anything is possible.” He says it’s really amazing, but they just need to tap into that and translate it. Meanwhile, Blaine tells Sam – in his little old man voice, he hasn’t sounded so Dalton in a while as he does through this episode, which I guess is nice because it means he feels comfortable and confident – that he’s a bit worried that people will think his choosing of Sam was a desperate grab for the straight vote unless Sam gives off the appearance to be a serious candidate. “Whaddaya mean, pilgrim?” Sam intones. “Was that John Wayne?” “Yeah, I panicked.” Blaine brushes this off and asks Sam to meet him in McKinley’s costume shop (I mean.. what? Why have we never heard about this school’s award-winning drama department that can afford a costume shop?) in the next free period.
Debate prep with Artie: “Brittany S. Pierce, how do you react to the characterisation of your first term in office as one in which you didn’t do anything at all until prom?” “I would describe that as entirely accurate.” Debate prep with Blaine: “Test scores at McKinley have gone down six percent every year for the past decade, what would you do to fix the problem?” “Stop giving tests, they’re hard and there’s way too many of them.” As Artie and Blaine continue to coach their running-mates, Brittany and Sam step out of their bodies – that’s a new one, Glee – and perform Hole’s “Celebrity Skin.” If there was a list of bands I would have never expected to see covered on Glee, Hole would certainly be on that list, but I guess Courtney Love just really likes money now. Anyway, the internal ghost versions of Brittany and Sam watch their real selves getting tutored and defiantly perform the number, both cleaning up nicely into business dress in the process. In the fantasy sequence they perform some rockstar moves at opposing podiums as more color-guard performers do flag spinning around them. I’m still not 100% sure why this song was used except to possibly represent that Sam and Brittany aren’t willing to be changed for the campaign, though this never really plays out or is acknowledged.
Will is hosting the show choir committee board meeting, and we see a few familiar faces, including Mr. Rumba, the coach of the deaf choir who stole “Don’t Stop Believing” from New Directions at their first ever sectionals. As the other coaches begin to talk shop, Will tunes out, inner monologuing about how bored he is. He’s interrupted by Mr. Rumba who exclaims that the exercise is pointless as his choir’s funding has been cut – they can’t operate any more. The other coaches comfort him, and when Will asks if there’s anything they can do, Rumba tells him “you can watch your back, because you’re next. The money for the arts has dried up.” Birdie, another coach, says that what they need is representation on a blue-ribbon panel that’s taking place with the government, to talk about arts in schools. Rumba is not optimistic, saying that no one cares about show choir, that they want more glamorous participants like Meryl Streep (and Demi Lovato) but Will is inspired and says he may try to apply. The other choir directors encourage him.
In New York, Kurt and Rachel stroll along looking very gorgeous and lovely. Rachel clutches Kurt and tells him about how some snide dancers in her class – one whom she refers to as ‘the Black Swan’ – were bullying her, calling her ‘Lena Dunham’ and criticising her exercise clothes. The discussion continues over dinner in their hangar-apartment, as they eat Chinese on the floor. Rachel says that she came to New York to reinvent herself and is disappointed that her place in the world is exactly the same as it was at school. Kurt says that the reasons she feels the same is because she’s dressing the same – that life is like high school, and that style determines the pecking order. Rachel says she doesn’t know what to do, she can’t afford a whole new wardrobe – Kurt is struck with an idea. “Who says you’ll have to pay for it?” he says as he drags Rachel off into the night for a little light breaking and entering.
CCTV footage shows the pair running through the Vogue.com offices at 12:24am, and Kurt uses his security pass to enter the ‘couture vault’ – the famed Vogue closet. The friends look around, overwhelmed, when they are caught by Isabelle, who suspected actual criminals. When she sees that the intruder is Kurt, the pair stammer to explain themselves – that they were going to do a makeover music video for the website, that Rachel would model and sing. Isabelle stops them, stern, then relaxing. “You had me at makeover,” she smiles, sending the security guards she’d brought away. They set up the video camera, Isabelle closes the doors and begins to sing “The Way You Look Tonight,” which turns into a mash-up with “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile,” from Annie. Kurt joins in as the pair dress Rachel up in extreme designer gowns. Rachel is coy about the attention and love being lavished on her, but dances with Kurt and begins to harmonise with the song as well. After swishing around in the evening gowns, the final product is Rachel with messy, tousle-styled hair wearing a casual blazer and pencil skirt.
We then cut directly to Blaine’s response to the video – Kurt had been showing it to him over Skype – and Blaine is full of praise for Kurt’s work. Kurt goes on to describe the rest of their night with Isabelle, visiting New York staple Gray’s Papaya. “You’re hanging out with fashion goddess Isabelle Wright, I’m running for student body president… with a former stripper,” Blaine says, clearly feeling insecure and inferior about Kurt’s impressive new life. “Oh my gosh, I forgot about that!” Kurt exclaims. First warning sign – or 521st warning sign, if you’re me and have been disapproving of this dynamic since late season 2. He goes on to ask Blaine how it’s going, but when Blaine responds and tries to ask Kurt’s advice about which tie to wear to the debate, Kurt brushes off the question and brings the subject back to the Vogue video again, pointing out specific parts and continuing to talk about his experiences. Blaine concedes, going along with Kurt, as eager to please as ever, but becomes downcast, and Kurt doesn’t notice. I’m strongly reminded of the bit in that old Valentine’s Day Simpsons episode when Lisa goes out with Ralph Wiggum and rejects him on television. Bart rewinds the video and says, “You can actually pinpoint the second his heart rips in half!”
Will visits Emma in her office, and asks to speak to her as a guidance counselor, not as his fiancee. He tells her about the opportunity to apply for the blue-ribbon panel, and how, when all he’s ever wanted to do is make a difference and improve other people’s lives, this was a chance to do that on a whole new level. If he got the position, he would need to leave McKinley and Ohio for several months to take part. Emma looks over the application papers and admits that it looks amazing, and that with all they say to the kids about following their dreams, they need to follow the advice as well. She insists that Will sends in the application, and when he expresses fear that if he goes it may damage their relationship, she assures him that it won’t change a thing.
As Sue addresses the ‘minuscule amount’ of the student body who turned out for the presidential debate, the candidates prepare backstage. As Blaine is fixing his outfit, Sam comes over to him and says – since Blaine made him over, is it okay if he offers Blaine some advice. Blaine says of course, and Sam (and the entire fandom) tells him to lose the bowtie. “It makes you look like a young Orville Redenbacher,” Sam tells him, and as Blaine takes off the tie and examines himself, shirt collar opened, looking more mature and less uptight, he realizes Sam is right. He says as much and thanks Sam for the advice.
Back on Sue: “There are two new utterly disheartening wrinkles to this year’s absolutely pointless contest. First, the horrifying fact that this year’s slate of candidates consists entirely of glee club members, and secondly, the inexplicable introduction of a vice-presidential field for no discernible reason whatsoever.” “SEPARATION OF POWERS! Wooo!” contributes New Fave, Brett the Stoner, helpfully. Sue introduces the VP candidates – “You know them as the pimp and the gimp,” and Sam and Artie take the stage. Artie gives an impassioned, yet dry speech about all the serious things he plans to achieve. It lasts over half an hour and when Sam is given the chance to respond, he looks overwhelmed and pretty much replies, “yeah, what Artie said, I’ll do that too.” Removing the bow tie may make Blaine appear less uptight, but it will take more than that to feed that kid a chill pill, as he flails off-stage, mouthing ‘What are you DOING?’ to his running-mate. Sam then gets a question from ‘the twitter’ – @hungrysouthmouth asks, “Sam Evans, rumor has it you were a stripper, aren’t you ashamed?” Hedging bets on @hungrysouthmouth being Santana, attempting to help Brittany’s campaign. Sam sighs, resigned and clearly sick of dealing with that part of his past, but strongly says, “No, I’m not” as Blaine nods on encouragingly in the wings. He’s a little less pleased when Sam decides to basically stick it to The Man by beginning to strip on-stage. The crowd goes wild and Blaine hangs his head in horror.
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