Jon and Daenerys shippers finally got #boatsex, so it’s about time these crackpot Game of Thrones ships get the screen time they deserve.
If you’ve ever felt ashamed about your Game of Thrones ship, you’ve come to the right place. All romantic pairings, from the ridiculous to the scandalous, are welcome here. This is officially the no-judgement zone for crackpot pairings across the Seven Kingdoms.
Below are just some of the Game of Thrones couples we’re too embarrassed to admit we ship, ships we’ll never get, and ships you never knew you wanted.
Sansa and Sandor
Sansa has always wanted her Prince Charming, her knight in shining armor, a guy like Loras Tyrell or Jaime Lannister. But life rarely works so perfectly. What if Sansa were to get the flipside of what she always wanted? The AU version, if you will. The Hound may not be conventionally charming, nor was he ever officially knighted, but he’s endearing in his own way and he wears armor.
Sandor brusque but he can have a soft side. Sansa is one of the few, and the first, to be on the receiving end of that secret sensitivity. Back in season 2, Sandor tried to run away with her, whisk her away from King’s Landing and take her somewhere safe. Sansa didn’t go, but the attempt was made. He looked out for her the best way he could. Sansa would be hard pressed to find someone in her life who would take care of her the way the Hound would.
Arya and Jon
Don’t tell me it’s gross. Definitely don’t tell me it’s gross if you ship Jon and Dany. And don’t tell me it’s gross especially if you ship Jon and Sansa. Honestly, where do you guys even come up with this stuff?
If there’s to be any Stark incest, it’s definitely going to be Arya and Jon. Book readers will remember when Jon was falling in love with Ygritte, he would oddly compare her to Arya. Strange to compare your lover to your
sister cousin, is it not?
Arya and Jon were always close, that much is evident even in Game of Thrones. Sure, siblings can be close without romantic undertones, but it’s not what George R.R. Martin initially had in mind. Martin actually had plans to give Arya and Jon a romantic storyline. Feel free to declare your love for a Jon and Arya romance obnoxiously and unashamedly, because even the creator of this series considered doing it.
Yara and Daenerys
Is it too much to ask for a successful gay relationship in this show? Yes, yes it is.
When Dany and Yara first met in season 6, Yara was making all kinds of suggestive eyes at Dany. In turn, Dany didn’t seem to mind. It’s one of the only times Dany hasn’t scoffed at someone’s forwardness in their admiration of her.
How poetic would it be to have these two Queens ruling together in the end, the queen of the air and the queen of the sea? A song of water and fire. That’s how the saying goes, right?
Jaime and Brienne
Jaime and Brienne have so much chemistry my Bunsen burner lights itself. He’s a more honorable person around her, and she’s less a stick in the mud around him. They balance each other out well.
You can bet their ship will sail in canon, so why are they a crackpot ship? In Game of Thrones, Jaime is so wrapped up in Cersei’s orbit (among other things), it seems unlikely there’s enough time left for him to ditch her for Brienne.
Any character development Jaime had with Brienne in season 3 has been erased. He’s spent too much time in King’s Landing, his character has regressed. We only have one season left. Do you really think his character can do a 180 that quickly?*
Night King and Beard Walker
It’s easy to project evil onto the White Walkers, but what if we’re looking at them all wrong? So far we haven’t actually seen them as killing machines. They only ever kill people when ‘their land’ is invaded. We don’t actually know why they’re heading south, nor do we know why they keep making more wights and White Walkers.
What if what they really want is a mate? Maybe they’re creating more of their kind because they’re lonely. Moreover, it’s possible they’re just moving south because winter is coming and it’s cold up north. It’s also possible they’re moving south because they want a springlike wedding down south.
If the Night King is indeed a King, he needs a Queen to rule alongside him. It’s easy to guess that his Queen is Beard Walker. After all, he’s the other Walker we see the most often.
Night King and Beard Walker are just trying to have a romantic getaway with their friends and family, but all the southerners are ruining it by trying to kill them. What do you expect them to do? Die? Of course they’re going to fight back. Nothing will stop a groom and groom from having the wedding of their dreams.
Cersei and Gregor
Cersei may think Jaime has her heart, but no man has truly made her happier than Gregor Clegane. In her lowest moment of the series, the walk of shame/punishment/atonement, who was there waiting for her at the end? Who carried her and covered her exposed body with his massive body?
Gregor Clegane is the perfect man for Cersei, and she’s the perfect woman for him. They perfectly balance each other. Cersei loves to be in charge, and the Mountain lives to obey commands. Cersei hates people who talk back to her, and the Mountain can’t talk.
As the Queen of Westeros, Cersei could have almost any dreamy, knight in shining armor, head of house she wants. But the knight of her dreams has been beside her for a long time, doting on her every villainous command. Not only did he die for her, he came back to life for her. There’s none more devoted than he. Together, they’d be the power couple of Westeros.
What crackpot ‘Game of Thrones’ ships do you futilely hope for?
*Actually it might be totally possible since season 7 abandoned all laws of time and space.