10:00 am EST, November 28, 2018

26 ‘Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald’ quotes better than licking dirt

I can't tell if these jokes are funny or just French.

If your favorite Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald quote isn’t one of Jacob’s, go eat some calamari.

Although we may not be getting any new Wizarding World novels from JK Rowling in the near future, we’re still getting treated to some new Wizarding World work from her. Of course, we’d all love a novelization of the Fantastic Beasts series. The prose in a script doesn’t give Rowling the ability to flex her writing muscles the same way she can in a book. But we’re not left completely dissatisfied.

Possible canon inconsistencies aside, there are plenty of funny and thoughtful quotes in Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald that show Rowling still hasn’t lost her touch.

  1. Dumbledore: Do you know why I admire you, Newt? More, perhaps, than any man I know? You don’t seek power or popularity. You simply ask, is the thing right in itself? If it is, then I must do it, no matter the cost.
  2. Jacob: Ew! Calamari.
  3. Travers: You want an end to the ban on your traveling internationally. Why?
    Newt: Because I like to travel internationally.
  4. Grindelwald: I hate Paris.
  5. Newt: She has eyes just like a salamander.
    Jacob: Don’t say that.
  6. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald quotes

  7. McClaggan: He’s the best teacher we’ve got.
  8. Queenie: I can’t tell if you’re making a joke or if you’re just…French.
  9. Newt: He’s an Auror. And a hugger.
  10. Grindelwald: The disapproval of cowards is praise to the brave.
  11. Dumbledore: We were closer than brothers.
  12. Newt: Well, there are no strange creatures-
    Leta: “-only blinkered people.”
  13. Jacob: Queen, honey. Well, I’m just curious, when were you going to wake me up? After we’d had five kids?
  14. Tina: Who else uses that expression, Mr. Scamander?
    Newt: I think it might just be me.
  15. Grindelwald: So needy.
  16. Leta: Oh Newt. You never met a monster you couldn’t love.
  17. Dumbledore: If you’ve ever had the pleasure to teach him, you’d know Newt is not a great follower of orders.
  18. Newt: What I’m trying to say is, I want you to be happy, but don’t be happy that I’m happy, because I’m not.
  19. Dumbledore: This is a surprise.
    Leta: Finding me in a classroom? Was I such a bad student?
    Dumbledore: On the contrary, you were one of my cleverest.
    Leta: I said bad, not stupid.
  20. Newt: Grindelwald doesn’t seem to understand the nature of things he considers simple.
  21. Grindelwald: But what is it you want, my boy?
    Credence: I want to know who I am.
  22. Newt: She has incredibly narrow feet, have you noticed?
    Jacob: Can’t say that I have.
  23. Dumbledore: Regret is my constant companion.
  24. Newt: I’ve chosen my side.
  25. Jacob: And we’re licking the dirt now.
  26. Newt: …your eyes in newsprint… See, in reality they have this effect in them, Tina… It’s like fire in water, in dark water. I’ve only ever seen that in-
    Tina: Salamanders?
  27. Flamel: I am alive, but I am an alchemist, and therefore immortal.
    Jacob: You don’t look a day over 375.
  28. Article Continues Below

What are your favorite quotes from ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald’?

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