Why do I want ‘Cursed Child’ tickets when I hate the ‘Cursed Child’ script?

Clearly, I have conflicting emotions about this.

4:30 pm EST, October 20, 2017

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is finally coming to New York! But is it okay to want to go when you hated the script?

(Be warned, this article contains a lot of Cursed Child hate. It also contains spoilers, although honestly, if you didn’t know this stuff already you’d think I was joking.)

Cursed Child tickets went on sale and ran out very quickly. Most of us didn’t manage to get any at all, and while that upset a lot of people, it’s left me confused about how I feel. Originally, I didn’t plan to ever go — but when I realized just how close the opportunity was, I ended up applying for tickets anyway (and like most people, didn’t get them.)

But I hated the Cursed Child script. So why do I wish I’d gotten tickets?

I want to be able to properly criticize it

This is the pettiest reason ever to want to see Cursed Child, but it’s even pettier to criticize a play that you haven’t had the experience of seeing firsthand. I want to be able to see how the story develops on stage and angrily pick it apart afterwards.

Given that Cursed Child has such a limited audience, almost all of those who hated reading the script have had to put up with people who have watched the play itself telling them that it’s actually great on stage.

They’re probably not wrong — clearly it’s an excellent production — but I still doubt it could fix the inherent wrongness of the plot and characterization. However, until I see it with my own eyes, I’ll just be someone who doesn’t really know what they’re talking about. I want to be properly entitled to my rage.

cursed child albus

Apparently, the special effects are amazing

Something everybody says is that the special effects in Cursed Child are something never seen before. Everyone says that the attack of the bookshelf is amazing, and while I’m still really weirded out by the Trolley Witch twist, I hear it’s quite a spectacle to watch. So is time-travel, and I’m curious to see if it can beat the inventiveness of how A Very Potter Sequel did it.

Transfiguration in general must be cool to see play out on stage, and maybe it’ll make me believe in magic for a few seconds, in the way that the Wizarding World at Universal Studios briefly does throughout its different rides. At the very least, it’ll make me appreciate the hard work of everyone behind the scenes, who definitely deserve praise, even when I’m not happy with the play itself.

cursed child harry albus

I’m curious about Delphi

There are almost no pictures of this character anywhere. What does Delphi look like? Is she really the embodiment of Mary-Sue-ness the way she is in the script? Is she likable? I’m sure that, despite how unhappy I am with her existence as a character, the actress must be very talented and might be able to make me care about what happens to her — maybe even enough to feel betrayed at the ultimate reveal.

I would like to have a face to associate with her character, and try to imagine if that’s what a child of Voldemort and Bellatrix would look like. I think Delphi can also fly, and at that point I will have suspended my disbelief so intensely that the world around me will fade away and I might, momentarily, be able to enjoy the coolness of someone flying.

I also want to laugh at her storyline in person (except I probably won’t because I’m too polite and also a chicken).

cursed child ron hermione

I don’t want to miss out on the fandom experience

While I’m not willing to accept Cursed Child into my idea of Harry Potter canon (although I realize that that in itself is blasphemy to many), it’s still a very big part of the fandom experience.

After all, Cursed Child was hyped up to be the ‘eighth story’ with a degree of promotion and celebration akin to the original book releases. So as a diehard fan who has been around from the beginning, it’s very hard to pretend that Cursed Child doesn’t exist, or ignore the fact that, because of this play, groups of fans are getting together to celebrate the book series I love the most.

And let’s face it — in my life as a Harry Potter fan, I’ve accepted knockoff merch that isn’t quite accurate and read all kinds of strange fanfiction, so I can suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy at least some parts of Cursed Child, in a detached sort of way.

And before you tell me that seeing the play (if I ever get tickets) will make me love the story I hated to read — you’re wrong. I’m going to be bitter about Cursed Child forever.

In the meantime, while we wait for the ever-elusive tickets to make their appearance again, I’m happy to be able to forget that Delphi ever existed.

Do you want ‘Cursed Child’ tickets?

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