3:00 pm EDT, May 21, 2020

BTS ‘Break The Silence’ episode 5: ‘You gain as much as you lose’

Break The Silence episode 5 “The Opposite Side,” shows the members continuing to work themselves personally and professionally.

Break The Silence episode 5 “The Opposite Side,” kicks off with Jin using his free time to hit an amusement park. They have to be careful to be as low key as they can be with an international star being filmed and his managers keeping him company.

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Hoseok walks the streets of New York with manager Sejin and others. Someone randomly comments that he looks like BTS as he walks by and they laugh about it. Meanwhile, Namjoon uses his free time to look at natural wood pieces.

“Some people say that anyone can become an artist. I think so, too. I’ve enjoyed being able to approach art through mediums other than music. It’s not that I’m hugely inspired by it…it’s more like I look at them,” Namjoon says. “Of course it would be great if they can impact my music, but that’s not something I can really control. I think the fact that it plays an important role in my daily life alone, as a source of strength, is more than enough.”

Yoongi works out with their personal trainer by himself. Afterward, he goes up to his hotel room to get some work done before bed because they have a show the next day.

“I’m really jealous of people who can go out to eat, travel, go to the movies with friends, and things like that. Those things are really special to me because I find them hard to do,” Yoongi explains. “Some of the members do those activities but I don’t because I don’t have a lot of friends. It’s not easy, so those things feel really special to me. I envy others because of this.”

“You gain as much as you lose and vice versa. It’s a loss of the ordinary. That’s been the biggest change. What’s ordinary to others is special to me, whereas what’s special to others is very ordinary to me. Before you know it, your set of values for things changes. The way you see the world with your values. That’s when the most ordinary things become significant,” He adds.

Jin comments, “I always try to be cheerful when I’m on camera. People watch me because they want to feel happy. But if they feel sad from watching me, that would make me feel worse. What I want is for people to see only my cheerful side on screen.”

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“For a long time now, I’ve had an interest in things that are natural. I like natural things that are authentic. I don’t try to be mysterious. Some people say, ‘Shouldn’t celebrities be like this?’ or ‘Shouldn’t artists be like that?’ I don’t want to give people a message because that itself feels grandiose to me. ‘A revolutionary.’ That’s not me,” Namjoon says. “When I think about the people who love us, and I reflect on the things they’ve given us. I understand that I don’t need to have some grandiose message. For instance, I learned that just talking about my thoughts is enough to change people.”

Hosoek stops to get a caricature from a local artist working in a park.

He says, “From performing on stage, I’ve come to know who I am and understand my existence. But off the stage, I’d like to feel more comfortable and be free. A part of me does feel that, but there is a persona that I need to show to fans and the general public. I wouldn’t say that I’m wearing a mask but I have to visibly become j-hope when I go onstage. That much is clear.”

While in New York, the boys stop to do additional promotions. Including performing for the GMA summer concert and doing an iheart radio event. Halsey surprises them by stopping in on the interview and talking about their collaboration for “Boy With Luv.”

“We lost our chance to live a normal life in our twenties. Instead we’ve lived an extraordinary life in our twenties. Whether I wanted it or not isn’t that important. When it comes to sending out a message, it feels like I’m trying to move a boulder. Be it a photo on twitter or an interview like this, I view each act as throwing tiny rocks on a wall. I hope that these acts, when combined, will build a huge castle. That’s how I feel about our work and music,” Namjoon explains.

“Something that always worries me is when people say, ‘You’re only saying that because you’ve become successful. You’re famous. What would you have to worry about? Do you even worry about the things that concern most people?’ on the other hand, I want to say that I’m really busy, too. People may not know this, but I also live a very busy life. I also have things I don’t want to do. Even things that I want to keep to myself are eventually revealed, in some way.”

After a long flight, the members finally land in Brazil. It’s another time change for them as they deal with jetlag from being away from home. It’s early in the morning and they worry about how they’ll get more sleep.

Hoseok states, “The fact that I like the work and love what I do has a major influence on me. If I didn’t want to be in this line of work and was sick and tired of it, it would show on stage. It’s because I really love my job that I can go on stage to perform and sing.”

They perform in São Paulo to a massive and lively crowd. Hoseok talks about how they still remember their tour in Brazil from 2017 because of the amazing crowd then.

“We were really happy on our way there. We prepared a lot. We studied a lot of Portuguese phrases and even prepared a samba dance. I think we prepared a lot of things. It’s a country that’s full of passion. There’s such a bright attitude and energy, and since we have a similar energy, I think that’s why they like us,” Hoseok says.

“The best thing about Brazilian ARMY is that they react very enthusiastically to the parts we hope they’ll react to. That’s why there were many moments when I’d get goosebumps, every time that we’d perform onstage,” Taehyung adds.

Despite their excitement to perform in Brazil, Jimin struggles with his voice as it starts to give out on him.

“When the unexpected happens and we suddenly lose our voice, we can’t give a good performance no matter how much we want to. That’s why we end up getting mad at ourselves,” Taehyung comments.

The members can relate to each other because they’ve all been there though. Taehyung recalls when his throat was in bad shape at their concert in Paris on their prior tour and he could barely sing. Because of that he can empathize with Jimin’s feelings in Brazil.

Jimin talks about the issue with his throat, “It’s true that I didn’t do a good job. But I don’t think I was overcome with despair, or regretful or self-critical. I just accepted the circumstances. Of course, I’m sure there were a lot of people who were worried about me, because it affected my performance. I want to grow further and faster so I can show them a really great performance. In my head I was telling the fans, ‘I’ll do better real soon.’”

Break The Silence shows how the members worry that Jimin only has a few days to recover before their next concert location too.

“I think the stage has two different faces. When I’m on stage for two and half hours, I feel so alive that all the other moments in my life start to feel pointless. That’s why the stage makes people go crazy, in different ways. It makes you go crazy, drives you wild, and then it drives you mad when you’re off the stage. There’s also the fear of going on stage because it’s so physically draining,” Namjoon explains.

“Some people might wonder, shouldn’t it be bearable for you by now? I have to do my best, even when I’m not at my best. Because it’s so tough, there’s always the fear that I won’t be able to give 100 of myself. Then there’s also the fear of guilt that comes when I can’t perform well. The stage truly makes people go mad.”

Before their concert, the members also worry about all the technical errors that are popping up while they practice their stages. Namjoon tries to encourage Jimin not to get too down about his voice as they still have more concerts to go on the tour.

Yoongi says, “We left as soon as our promotions ended, so the members were already feeling kind of tense. After we got there and rehearsed, we were all really tense right up until going onstage. We think of the tours as being on par with our albums. In a way, touring might be an even greater priority because we’re singers and performers.”

“I don’t really think that I’ve improved that much. It’s just that the fame has increased. I don’t think of myself as being extraordinarily good at something. I’m not really sure how I should develop further,” Jin comments.

Jungkook reveals, “I envy the image people have of me. People call me the ‘Golden Maknae,’ but that’s not how I feel so I have to try harder to make myself appear that way. After all that time since my debut, I think finally I’m trying really hard.”

“We have some concerns, but without them, we wouldn’t have come this far as a team. I think the work I’m doing now is great. It suits me. And we’ve come so far, to the point where looking back feels meaningless,” Namjoon states.

“In any case, it’s made me realize that I want to give something back to people, and that I’m the kind of person who finds meaning in doing this kind of work. So I have to offset all the negative parts that come with it. I think it’s a fight to go insane while struggling to stay sane.”

Jimin comments, “I think I realized a lot of things. When it comes to loving yourself, I think it’s about asking yourself a lot of questions and learning more about who you are. I think that’s the foundation and beginning of learning to love yourself.”

“I ask myself a lot of questions and think about how I can find more happiness and that’s helped me gain a more positive outlook on life.”

BTS Break The Silence can be purchased exclusively through Weverse! New episodes of Break The Silence will be released every Tuesday and Thursday, as the series follows the 351-day journey on the Love Yourself tour.

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