3:00 pm EDT, May 14, 2020

BTS ‘Break The Silence’ episode 3: ‘It’s something I’ve never felt before’

Break The Silence: Docu-Series episode 3, “Way to Work,” saw the BTS members finishing up their tour and getting ready for a new album.

The BTS members are leaving their hotel, Jin realizes that he got carried away the night before because he wasn’t used to his limits. Jungkook is amused that he put too much skin oil on and his face is shiny. They’re all still a little sleepy as they make their way to the venue.

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The staff and the BTS members all eat together in the same room. Hoseok laughs at Jin’s antics before his birthday as Jimin laments they should know each other’s birthdays by now.

Before getting the day’s practice started BTS and the staff all gather together on the stage to take a big group photograph together.

“We went to quite a lot of places. There were a lot of personal challenges for me on this tour. I also had a lot of ambitions. It was a tour that taught me many things, and it was a challenge that helped me grow as a person,” Hoseok says.

Jungkook tells the Break The Silence crew that since they’ve taken the photo it feels real that they’re wrapping the tour up. They just have concerts left in Thailand and Hong Kong. “I’ll start to tell myself ‘You did a good job,’” Jungkook tells them.

“Lately, I’ve been feeling the happiest I’ve ever felt. Up until last year, the members were feeling a bit anxious, and we didn’t have a lot of time to rest. As we moved into the new year, things finally began to settle down. The members have now started to feel more secure, and we’ve been touring while preparing for our album. We also get to rest when we can. I think those were the best parts,” Jimin says.

“Even now, I’m very happy. Recently, the members have been telling me, ‘You seem a lot happier, especially this year.’ I think it’s a good thing. I can express how I feel, yet also organize my thoughts more calmly. I’m not sure how to describe this feeling. It’s something I’ve never felt before.”

Related: BTS Break The Silence episode 2: ‘We’re always trying new things’

The members take their group photo before leaving the venue. Then Jimin is shown working on “Promise” in the studio. He’s laughing because he doesn’t know how to feel once he’s finished recording. They end up recording the song one more time anyways.

Jimin tells the Break The Silence staff, “Since it’s my first song that I’m releasing I think I’m half-worried and half-excited. After all, I did make a promise to our fans. But, I want to continue making more songs for them. It’s given me the desire to take on more challenges by using this opportunity as a starting point.”

Laughing more with the producers, Jimin says that it’s been about seven months working on the song.

“It made me think a lot about how the older members write songs. I realized how hard it must have been for them. But it was also fun for me. I would record, sleep here, wake up, and then record again. The owner of this studio would say, ‘You should sleep at home.’ Then I’d say ‘Did I fall asleep again?’ and start recording again.”

After leaving the studio, Jimin goes to visit Namjoon and tell him he finished the song. They talk about writing their own songs and analyzing the feeling that comes afterward.

Namjoon also tells Jimin that he got a text from their producer about the new album, they’re getting ready to work on Map of the Soul: Persona. He’s recording the intro and they’re all excited to finally start working on it. But they also talk about the worries they have about songs and not knowing if they’re as good as they think they are.

“I’m just not confident,” Namjoon tells Jimin.

Taehyung also continued to work on recording “Scenery,” and trying the lyrics in different ways. He also recorded the sound effects of the camera himself and showed them where to put it into the song.

“When it comes to photography, capturing the moment is of critical importance. By looking at photographs, I can reminisce about my memories. The song is saying, ‘This is how I spent my youth. I want many more moments like this, and I will continue to capture them.’” Taehyung explains.

The members get ready to head to Hong Kong where they’ll not only perform but also have work to do on their album. They have a recording to do and choreography to learn on top of all their preparations for the show. As well as recording Break The Silence at the same time.

“I pursued this line of work because it’s what I wanted to do, but in a way it’s a love-hate relationship. Sometimes I hate it and sometimes I love it, but I don’t think I could live without it. If I imagine myself not performing or making music, my life would be so meaningless,” Yoongi says.

Jin talks about performing too, “The view I take in when I’m surrounded by tens of thousands of people all looking at me, while I’m alone in the center…there are times when I miss that. When we return to the hotel after a show, that’s when I feel most empty. It’s like having something in one moment, only to see it disappear in the next. That’s what it feels like.”

Yoongi adds, “When I’m performing at a concert, I can tell that I’m loved, that I’m getting a lot of attention from people and things like that. I’m actually scared of crowds, but strangely, I don’t feel that way at concerts. When I’m at a concert, I can feel that the people are there because they’re interested in me.”

As Taehyung and Namjoon get their makeup fixed for the concert side by side, they keep themselves entertained by singing dramatically. It’s kind of amazing that their makeup artists are so used to it that they can just keep on working around the silliness. Meanwhile, Jimin somehow manages to nap through his makeup getting done.

“Holidays exist because of work. What makes me happy is that I have work that sustains me. In the core of that is BTS and my social ego, RM, or my persona. Being able to give others something through my work and get something back from them, enjoying the fruits of that, and keeping them by my side, are the highest forms of happiness I can enjoy right now,” Namjoon says.

During some time off, Hoseok goes to get Jimin so they can go out shopping. He wants to leave right away but has to wait for Jimin to get dressed. In the car, they laugh because Jimin accidentally fell back asleep. Jimin ends up going inside the apple store alone as Hoseok watches with worry. He’s quickly swarmed by people trying to take photos and has to leave fast. A staff member is able to help him finish the purchase so they can wait safely in the car.

They also have to worry about some paparazzi that they spot following them. Hoseok admits that things like that scare him.

It’s no surprise that Jin uses his free time for his favorite hobby, playing computer games.

“I think the two lives are the same, but I don’t live them in the same way. I think Jin of BTS always lives a cheerful life. As Kim Seokjin, not much has changed for me, and I’m living a really happy life. But as Jin of BTS, life may be a bit difficult on the other side. If you gain some, you lose some.”

Hoseok says, “It’s a bit embarrassing for me to say this myself, and I don’t know if I should say it, but now that I’ve reached this point and I’m in this position, I see it as a sort of calling. Because I’ve become such a huge idol..of course being an idol is…it makes you shine brightly, but it’s accompanied by fear. Sometimes I want to hide or avoid it. At times, I want to let it go. But this position is…the eyes of so many people are watching, and their love and attention are the things that make it hard to let go. It could be that where you stand now is what defines you.”

Inside their hotel room, Hoseok and Jimin go through what they were able to purchase. The other members meet up to have dinner. They joke about how nice the restaurant is and how out of place they feel sometimes.

“The members aren’t like “Lets stay together till the day we die!” But after living with them for along time…there are things you can tell without the need for words. There’s a kind of invisible…connection. I feel that kind of connection with the members. I moved to Seoul at a very young age and didn’t have any best friends. The members are the ones who are always by my side and the ones I’ve been with the longest,” Jungkook says.

“I think they make me feel emotions that are hard to describe. It feels like we’re companions, and they helped me realize what friendship is. Family. They’re not family but they feel like family. There are times when I feel a close connection with them. In the way that water flows, I think we’re all doing a good job of maintaining this balance.”

The members get ready for their last concert of the tour and there is a crisis that no one there knew about. They took the stage like normal and start to perform but the staff quickly realize something isn’t right. They had to rush to make sure the stage didn’t collapse where it was starting to give in right under BTS and the dancers.

It isn’t until the staff are able to pull the members aside and let them know what was going on. Namjoon and Hoseok are warned by staff on the sidelines not to do choreography where the stage was giving in. That have to continue to perform without showing their worries to the crowd.

As they change later in the show it starts to rain outside and they have another concern. Jimin tells the dancers to watch their feet so that they don’t slip on the wet stage.

“This tour has been like a wall that I can definitely lean on. I’ve had that feeling a lot. Honestly, I constantly think about what my life will be like when I’m in my 30s and how I should prepare for it. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ll take my music further,” Namjoon says.

“Basically, I’ve been planting my roots in this field, meeting people all over the world, showing them what I have to offer and people have been coming to see me. I’ve been witnessing these things in my life. However, it may seem fundamentally that I’m living a good life. I think that this thought has helped me want to live life to the fullest.”

“I’m not trying to decide now how I’ll perform as BTS member when I’m in my 30s or in an unknown future that’s outside of my control. Doing my best in the things that are right in front of me is the best way that I can answer the question of my existence.”

“There’s a lot of pressure to meet up with people. I haven’t changed, but my friends find it difficult to be around me. It’s quite a shame to see them grow apart from me. I’ve lost a lot of people around me. What makes up who I am now is our fans, ARMY, and they are the reason I’m able to do music,” Jin says.

“Because so many people love seeing me on stage, and because I can make many people happy, I become happy through them. That’s why I want to perform even more.”

Taehyung comments, “Some people climb mountains alone, while some climb with others. We talk, interact and share memories with each other as we reach the top of the mountain, but I think we’re a group of people who are willing to withstand all the good and the bad in order to climb up to the top together. Aside from fame and everything else, that’s how the seven members of BTS see ourselves. That’s the kind of singers we are.”

Break The Silence episode ends 3 with the members attending the press conference for their album, Map of the Soul: Persona. A lot of people were in attendance and the members were nervous, joking about their mistakes later in private.

“As for my goals now…it used to be going on stadium tours and getting on the Billboard chart. Once you achieve them, you have to find new ones. You have to find another tangible goal. But then these goals end up being very transient. I realized it’s like a kind of anesthetic that is no more than a friend source of strength for me.,” Namjoon says.

Hoseok adds, “It’s not that I don’t have any goals, but if we’re good at what we do and clearly understand the basis of what we’re doing, I think the next part comes naturally. Although it may not be a clear goal, I think we’ll be able to enjoy the work that we’re doing.”

“What’s most important to me? Well, I think it’s every moment as it comes, in the present, because every moment is beautiful and illuminating on its own.”

BTS Break The Silence can be purchased exclusively through Weverse! New episodes of Break The Silence will be released every Tuesday and Thursday, as the series follows the 351-day journey on the Love Yourself tour.

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