We’re just days away from the series premiere of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a reunion with everyone’s favorite S.H.I.E.L.D. operative, Agent Coulson. Since we know that the question of Coulson’s survival will not be addressed in the pilot, we thought we’d share our five theories on how Agent Coulson survived.

Now, we’re ecstatic that Agent Coulson is still alive. We couldn’t believe it when we read that Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to not only feature Agent Coulson, but also take place after the attack on New York. But now we just have to know what happened to Coulson. Until that time comes, our minds are running wild with theories on how he could have possibly survived being stabbed by Loki. Here are the most plausible theories we could come up with.
 

Dead!Coulson was a Life Model Decoy.

Agent Coulson Sunglasses

When Agent Coulson visits Tony Stark at Stark Tower, Tony attempts to turn him away by answering Coulson’s video call as a Life Model Decoy. As funny as that moment was, we can’t help but think that the Life Model Decoy wasn’t included to just be a two-second gag. It’s too interesting of a concept. Essentially, a Life Model Decoy (or LMD for short) is a robot that’s designed in the exact likeness of a person. They’re designed to be identical body doubles. Therefore, it would be really hard for us to tell if it was Agent Coulson or his LMD that Loki stabbed with his scepter.

Loki killed Agent Coulson’s clone.

Agent Coulson Dying

If S.H.I.E.L.D. has already been able to replicate alien technology in terms of weapons and LMDs are a reality in this universe, who’s to say that they haven’t already mastered human cloning? While it’s a bit less Marvel-esque (and exciting) than him being a LMD, Agent Coulson having a clone may be more likely. LMDs technically are only supposed to replicate the outer appearance of their subject. If you remember, there’s quite a bit of blood that comes out of Coulson when Loki stabs him. The being that was stabbed could definitely have been a clone of Coulson, deployed to fight in place of Coulson because he’s too valuable to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Agent Coulson died, and then was somehow brought back to life.

Agent Coulson Alive

Yes, this is a pretty tame theory (especially for Joss Whedon and the Marvel universe in general), but it is still possible. After all, the Avengers are dealing with supernatural alien forces, and it’s the Marvel universe. Weirder things than resurrection have happened. Whether it’s through modern medicine and science or magic and witchcraft, S.H.I.E.L.D. somehow bringing Coulson back from the dead is definitely plausible. Boring and not very innovative, but possible.

Agent Coulson never died.

Agent Coulson Phone

While we certainly hope that this will not be the direction that Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be going in, it’s definitely a possibility. Joss Whedon has done interviews in which he discussed how he wants to keep the Marvel universe as grounded and as realistic as possible. Since we never saw the paramedics pronounce Agent Coulson to be dead and only heard about it from Nick Fury, Coulson could have never actually died. He may have been on the brink of death but, for all we know, the paramedics could have saved him just in time. We know, we know: it’s probably the most boring theory out there. But we had to throw it out there as a possibility (even though we expect way more from Joss Whedon and Co.).

Agent Coulson was the newest subject in the Super Soldier experiment.

Agent Coulson Shield

Now stay with us here. According to an article on MoviePilot, someone on Tumblr noticed that in Captain America: The First Avenger, the young boy running around with a Captain America replica shield is referred to as “Phil.” Marvel is not one to make mistakes or mention details like that without thought. If we assume that that child is in fact the Phil Coulson we know and love, he would technically much older in these movies than he actually. However, because he’s so devoted to his job and his country, it would make sense that he would be one of the first people to volunteer to test the government’s most recent attempt at the Super-Soldier Serum. How awesome would it be if Coulson was a Super Soldier too?!

What’s your theory on how Agent Coulson survived?

Arrested Development‘s fourth season aired three years ago today. To celebrate its legacy (and to try to forget how much we’re missing it right now), let’s rank the best recurring Arrested Development jokes!

It’s really no secret that Arrested Development has some of the best recurring jokes and gags of all time. Even people who don’t watch the show are familiar with things like “There’s always money in the banana stand” and “I’ve made a huge mistake.” The jokes in this show are just so understated and catchy that it would’ve been crazy had they not have caught on. Thanks to Arrested Development‘s recurring jokes, pop culture has never been quite the same.

To celebrate our undying love for Arrested Development, we decided to forgo the banner (sorry, everyone) and instead put together a list of all of the gags and jokes that we think are the best ones the show’s ever done. Not only that, but we’re leaving it up to you to rank them!

How to play: Love a certain joke and think that it should be at the top of the list? Upvote it. Really hate another joke and don’t understand how it got on the list in the first place? Hit that little downward-facing arrow. Don’t care either way for some of these gags? Then you can just leave them untouched. It’s all good! We just want to know what YOU think! With everyone participating we’ll be able to build a definitive list of the best Arrested Development jokes!

So, grab your denim cut-offs and hot ham water, and maybe even do a little chicken dance to get yourself pumped up (but not with the hot ham water in your hand, please). If you’re an Arrested Development fan, you’re sure to love ranking these jokes.

(Just be careful about which arrow you hit. You don’t want to hit the wrong one and find yourself saying “I’ve made a huge mistake.”)

Are there any ‘Arrested Development’ jokes missing from the list? Add them below!

 
Related: Arrested Development season 4 drinking game

Marvel fans aren’t pleased with the twist in Captain America: Steve Rogers #1.

By now you know that Steve Rogers is revealed to be a Hydra agent in the first issue of the new Captain America: Steve Rogers series (Read our in-depth analysis of the new issue here). Naturally this news — that ultimate do-gooder Cap would be so evil — has not sat well with fans.

The general consensus is that this shit is unacceptable…

http://cairistiona7.tumblr.com/post/144914269536/we-may-not-agree-on-stucky-we-may-not-agree-on

… And the only thing to do is ignore it:

http://contradictoryfrankie.tumblr.com/post/144924573033/marvel-seriously

http://antis0cial1diot.tumblr.com/post/144916043048/basically-how-the-scene-went-down

Others think Marvel need a taste of their own medicine:

http://demigod-who-crashed-the-impala.tumblr.com/post/144916277135/marvel-needs-to-sign-its-own-sokovia-accords

And/or need to fire their lame-o writers:

http://scarlett-ice.tumblr.com/post/144923588829/if-you-ever-think-your-writing-is-bad-just

Then there are beautiful Photoshops like this one of Chris Evans’ Captain America ripping up a tree the comic:

http://epicgeekdom.tumblr.com/post/144924279502/after-hearing-captain-america-has-always-been

Some people are Photoshopping the comic to make him say things that are just as outrageous as him being a HYDRA agent:


http://codyjohnston.tumblr.com/post/144920242899/marvel-how-could-you

While others are giving him a different revelation — one concerning Bucky. This is the twist that SHOULD be in the new Captain America series

http://fukinweeeb.tumblr.com/post/144923721446/guys-i-found-the-real-version-calm-down

http://saltikitti.tumblr.com/post/144918179067/here-i-fixed-it

Marvel, please write yourself out of this one as quickly as possible.

http://robinthephoenix.tumblr.com/post/144917851788/not-to-pleased-with-caps-new-alliance-p

… Before you start coming up with other outrageous revelations

http://pk-wheeze.tumblr.com/post/144916205184

Emilia Clarke proves there is more to Dothraki than death threats in a recent appearance on Late Night With Seth Meyers.

Clarke, who plays the indomitable Daenerys Targaryen on HBO’s Game of Thrones, sets Meyers straight on the fact that Dothraki is, in fact, a real language created for the show. Linguist David J. Peterson crafted Dothraki, and all of the other fictional languages used on Game of Thrones — but even after six seasons, his words present Clarke with a continual challenge.

“You get it in English, at the top in the first script, it’s like, ‘This will be in Dothraki,'” Clarke recounts of her learning process. Following English is the Dothraki speech, followed by a literal translation, and then finally the dialogue in spoken English.

“And then I get an MP3, and then my kitchen hears it for weeks and weeks and weeks on end, until I sound convincing,” Clarke says.

But given the opacity (and complete invention) of the Dothraki language, Emilia Clarke admits that there have been times when she replaced her lines with something a little more… interesting.

“With the latest marvelous actors we’ve had doing Dothraki with us, it was a long day,” Clarke admits, giggling. Not realizing that the camera was on her, Clarke allowed a moment of silliness to take over.

“I thought it would be funny if I did ‘MMMBop’ in Dothraki,” she says. “And that didn’t help him at all! And then I think some of that was definitely my take.”

Ever game, Clarke dives in to her rendition of the Hanson hit, translated into the language of the brutal horse lords.

“I can’t stress how much less catchy that is!” Meyers laughs.

Game of Thrones 6×06, “Blood of My Blood,” airs Sunday, May 29 at 9:00 p.m. on HBO.