Imagine seeing one of these headlines in 2013. You’ll be shaking in your boots like we were when merely typing them out.

“Pixar announces Toy Story 4 in development”

Rumors over the past couple of years have suggested that Disney Pixar is kicking around the idea of a fourth Toy Story film. The murmurs come to the dismay of fans who don’t want to see the story extended past the happy ending where Andy said goodbye to his beloved toys. We think Pixar should focus on dreaming up new ideas rather than diving back into Toy Story.

“Netflix: ‘We know we suck now. We’re closing'”

The online streaming service has struggled to remain relevant in 2012 as competition from Amazon and Apple grows. Moreover, the content pickings have been pretty slim, especially when it comes to films that have been recently released on DVD/Blu-ray. Despite this, we love being able to cozy up with Netflix and have access to (most of) our favorite shows and films. If Netflix left us, where would we go for our endless entertainment?

Catching Fire delayed until July 2014, Lionsgate cites need for ‘summer tentpole'”

Harry Potter fans were traumatized in 2008 when Warner Bros. announced that they were pushing the release of Half-Blood Prince to the following summer because they needed a summer blockbuster. Lionsgate seems pretty happy with their November release dates, having scheduled the remaining three films for November 2013, 2014, and 2015, but if the need for a big summer hit beckons, it may be hard to resist pushing one of The Hunger Games films into a July opening.

Glee to be canceled following the end of season five, producers oddly blame lack of new songs to cover”

In 2012 we said goodbye to great shows we’ve covered like Terra Nova, Merlin, and Weeds. Ratings for Glee have been on a steady decline over the past couple of years, and Fox may consider an end to their once-successful show if the trend continues. Reasons for the show’s decline? A sometimes strange storyline, an unnecessarily large cast of characters, and breaks in the season which may hurt the show’s momentum. Despite the issues, we still love it and aren’t ready to see the kids go.

Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special plans scrapped after former Doctors required huge, unachievable paydays”

Throughout this year we’ve been hoping to learn who and what the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special will involve. While details have still been light, we’re so nervous about it that we live in fear of it all falling apart. If we don’t see this headline in 2013, hopefully we will see this one: “David Tennant officially on board for 50th Anniversary Special.”

“Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson sign on to Twilight reboot”

The two stars have heard talk of it happening and rumors have teased us, but ultimately it would not be a good idea to see the Twilight series be rebooted or spun off in any capacity involving Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. Edward and Bella’s original story has ended, and now we must look forward to other vampire stories – perhaps told by Stephenie Meyer.

“Nicki Minaj releases new album”

This one we already know is going to happen. The rapper has announced Pink Friday: The Pinkprint for a 2013 release. We were very put off by Minaj when she had her American Idol judging outburst, and quite frankly we’re not looking forward to seeing her critique singers with actual talent on Fox’s singing show.

“Pottermore continues doing what they’re doing, fans continue visiting site five times a year”

J.K. Rowling’s Pottermore completed the release of the first two books this year, but we found ourselves bored with many of the “chapters” and “moments” throughout. We’re itching for new features to be brought onto the site, and if they keep chugging along as they did this year, then we’re not going to have much to look forward to. In fairness, we’ve thoroughly enjoyed J.K. Rowling’s new writing.

Sherlock series 3 delayed until 2014, Benedict Cumberbatch to blame for getting too popular”

The upside: Benedict Cumberbatch has had a huge year for his career. A role in The Hobbit as the dragon Smaug, a role in Star Trek: Into Darkness as Khan, and various smaller projects – all while trying to work in his Sherlock duties. But that’s just the problem! Cumberbatch has gotten so famous and perfect and amazing that Sherlock has had to take a back seat. Need tangible evidence? In November we learned that the production start had to be delayed due to Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman’s schedules.

Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin dies, series left unfinished, world says ‘Told you so'”

It’s a legitimate concern. Martin is old (64 years of age), and he’s taking his sweet time finishing up his A Song of Ice and Fire series. How do we tell our beloved, women crazed author to step it up a notch and get her done?

“Average movie ticket price skyrockets to all time high, movie torrenting propels to all time high too”

We love going to the movies, but damn if the cost of doing so hasn’t gotten pricey. This writer has found himself attending early morning showings of new films in order to see them on the cheap. With filmmakers and theaters looking to squeeze every last penny out of us using gimmicks like 3D and IMAX, we’re hoping the average price doesn’t continue to rise.

“Peter Jackson finds additional J.R.R. Tolkien appendices, announces The Hobbit will be a quinary”

The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit director Peter Jackson was already skating on thin ice when he decided to create two films out of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit book. Then earlier this year he and Warner Bros. decided to turn it into a trilogy. At this rate, we’re bracing for a decision to actually split the trilogy into a quinary (five films). Afterall, he’s got at least 20-25 minutes of material for An Unexpected Journey’s Extended Edition.


Thanks to MerelyFreshmen and HannahGann who contributed ideas to this article.

Which headlines do you NOT want to see in 2013? Write your own in the comments!

Honorable mentions (submitted by our readers while this article was in development):
Scott: “Harry Potter rebooted with the cast of Twilight”
Pablo: “New Arrested Development episodes disappoint fans”
Jen: “Stephenie Meyer adds a fifth book to the Twilight series.
Jamie: “Ender’s Game movie delayed/canceled.. again.”
Lori: “Lionsgate casting Twilight TV series; Stephenie Meyer not collaborating”
Jason: Disney buys whatever the hell is left for them to buy”

See also: 10 headlines we REALLY want to see in 2013: Spider-Man joins The Avengers, Meryl Streep cast in Mockingjay, and more.

DCOM marathon schedule: See full list of movies and when they air

The mega marathon begins Friday, May 27 and runs into June!

10:00 am EDT, May 27, 2016

The highly-anticipated Disney Channel Original Movie marathon began Friday, May 27 at 10 a.m. eastern and runs through the holiday weekend. See the complete DCOM marathon schedule here!

When Disney Channel says they’re running a DCOM marathon, they mean it. The network will be airing 51 DCOMs from Friday to Monday ahead of this summer’s release of their 100th DCOM, Adventures in Babysitting (debuting June 24). Who needs Memorial Day festivities when you can sit inside and enjoy Disney Channel classics all weekend?!

After Monday they’ll continue to air a couple more movies every night until they eventually air all 100 DCOMs. That’s right! Every single one of ’em is returning to television between now and late June.

Below is the complete list of DCOMs airing from Friday, May 27 into the middle of June. Since many are airing in the overnight hours, you’ll probably want to set up your DVR. Or in case you want to watch them again. And again.

DCOM Marathon Schedule

Friday, May 27

10:00AM Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama
11:20AM Read It and Weep
12:55PM Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior
2:40PM Jump In!
4:15PM Lemonade Mouth
6:15PM Zapped
8:00PM High School Musical 2
9:55PM The Cheetah Girls 2
11:45PM Zenon the Zequel
1:25AM Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge
2:55AM Twitches Too
4:25AM Alley Cats Strike!

Saturday, May 28

6:25AM You Wish!
8:05AM The Proud Family Movie
9:50AM Quints
11:25AM Horse Sense
1:10PM Cow Belles
2:50PM Twitches
4:30PM The Even Stevens Movie
6:15PM Wizards of Waverly Place The Movie
8:00PM Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam
9:50PM Princess Protection Program
11:30PM The Cheetah Girls: One World
1:05AM Zenon: Z3
2:40AM Halloweentown High
4:20AM The Thirteenth Year

Netflix DCOMs High School Musical

Sunday, May 29

6:00AM Right On Track
7:45AM Full-Court Miracle
9:35AM Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off
11:20AM Brink!
1:10PM Double Teamed
2:55PM Rip Girls
4:35PM Motocrossed
6:20PM Cloud 9
8:00PM Teen Beach 2
9:55PM Bad Hair Day
11:40PM How to Build a Better Boy
1:20AM Pixel Perfect
2:55AM The Other Me
4:30AM Genius

Monday, May 30

10:00AM Stuck in the Suburbs
11:30AM Halloweentown
1:05PM Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century
2:55PM Smart House
4:25PM High School Musical
6:15PM Camp Rock
8:00PM Descendants
10:05PM Teen Beach Movie
11:55PM Cadet Kelly
1:50AM The Cheetah Girls
3:35AM Johnny Tsunami

Camp Rock DCOM

After Memorial Day Weekend, Disney Channel will air two more DCOMs each night. Here’s the schedule so far (again, set your DVRs because these air late!)

Wednesday, June 1
12:00AM Return to Halloweentown
1:40AM Can of Worms

Thursday, June 2
12:00AM Going to the Mat
1:40AM Miracle in Lane 2

Friday, June 3
12:00AM The Suite Life Movie
1:40AM Ring of Endless Light

Saturday, June 4
12:00AM Invisible Sister
1:40AM Now You See It…

Sunday, June 5
12:00AM Girl vs. Monster
1:40AM Phantom of Megaplex

Monday, June 6
12:00AM Tru Confessions
1:40AM Tiger Cruise

Tuesday, June 7
12:00AM Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire
1:40AM Under Wraps

Wednesday, June 8
12:00AM Den Brother
1:40AM Go Figure

Thursday, June 9
12:00AM Avalon High
1:40AM Jett Jackson: The Movie

Friday, June 10 and beyond
As of right now Disney Channel hasn’t released the schedule beyond June 10.

Which DCOMs do you plan to watch during the Disney Channel Marathon?

Next week we’ll be launching a fun new game here on Hypable where we’ll seek your help in ranking every single DCOM in the history of DCOMs. It’s probably a good idea to watch as many of these as possible so you can brush up on your knowledge base and rank them accurately!

James Cameron’s Battle Angel adaptation has found its lead in Maze Runner standout Rosa Salazar.

According to Collider, Salazar has been officially confirmed as the lead in Alita: Battle Angel, beating out Maika Monroe and Zendaya for the titular role. The manga adaptation was developed by James Cameron, and will be directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Battle Angel Alita is a manga series by Yukito Kishiro, which takes place in the 26th century and follows a cyborg girl with amnesia. Designed with spectacular martial arts skills, Battle Angel becomes a bounty hunter, who makes a living tracking down violent criminals.

As Brenda in Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials and Lynn in Insurgent, Rosa Salazar is already well-known in dystopian YA circles. She’s also had recurring roles in Parenthood and American Horror Story, and you can currently catch her in FXX’s Man Seeking Woman.

alita

James Cameron has been tinkering with this project for a while, but his extensive and all-consuming work on the Avatar sequels led him to hand over directorial duties to Robert Rodriguez last year. Rodriguez previously served as showrunner on From Dusk Till Dawn (after directing the movie of the same name in 1996), and his versatile directorial resumé includes Sin City, Spy Kids and The Faculty.

When Cameron picked Rodriguez as Battle Angel director, he said in a statement, “Robert and I have been looking for a film to do together for years, so I was pumped when he said he wanted to do Battle Angel. He’s very collaborative and we’re already like two kids building a go-kart, just having fun riffing creatively and technically.

“This project is near and dear to me, and there’s nobody I trust more than Robert, with his technical virtuosity and rebel style, to take over the directing reins. We’re looking forward to learning a lot from each other while we make a kick-ass epic.”

Alita: Battle Angel has no release date yet, but we’ll keep you posted. Here’s the official synopsis from IMDb:

“Alita is a creation from an age of despair. Found by the mysterious Dr. Ido while trolling for cyborg parts, Alita becomes a lethal, dangerous being. She cannot remember who she is, or where she came from. But to Dr. Ido, the truth is all too clear. She is the one being who can break the cycle of death and destruction left behind from Tiphares. But to accomplish her true purpose, she must fight and kill. And that is where Alita’s true significance comes to bear. She is an angel from heaven. She is an angel of death.”

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is set to continue Harry, Ron and Hermione’s story. Downside: The characters that survived Deathly Hallows are suddenly no longer safe!

Details about Cursed Child, the Harry Potter play opening in London next month, are being kept tightly under wraps.

But one teaser J.K. Rowling did let slip? It’s designed to make you cry.

Answering the Twitter question, “Will the Cursed Child make me cry?” Rowling strongly implied that the answer is yes — “or we’ll be checking your vital signs.”

Bombarded with worried follow-up questions, Rowling (randomly) chose to answer “why are you like this” by reminding fans of what she believes her primary responsibility is as an author: To make us feel things.

Of course there’s no reason to assume the “OMG RON IS DEFINITELY DYING AKSDJFSHFJ” position (even if that is the first instinct of this writer), but it is an indisputable fact that for many authors — Rowling included — evocative storytelling is synonymous with, “I’m going to make you love something, and then I’m gonna kill it.”

Cursed Child takes place 19 years after the conclusion of the Harry Potter saga. Not only are there many elderly characters we might reasonably fear for (including McGonagall, Hagrid, and Molly and Arthur Weasley), but J.K. Rowling’s Potter series has set a strong precedent for killing off parental figures to usher in a new generation of characters.

Related: England’s biggest bookstore announces first Cursed Child midnight release party

On the other hand, we could just be traumatized by the original Potter series, and everything is actually gonna be fine. Maybe J.K. Rowling simply expects us to cry tears of happiness because we get to return to the fantastic, magical world she has created.

What do you think? Is someone we love dying in Cursed Child, or will the plot make us emotional in other ways?