And we just had our third week in a row of “no duh” eliminations – we knew it, the stars knew it, everyone knew it. To the surprise of no one, former Bachelor, Sean, and Peta were eliminated in the quarterfinals, coming in sixth place. Like I said yesterday, this was obviously going to happen, so Peta gave Sean two spectacular routines to do yesterday. Sean’s success at dancing them was questionable, but they were great performance pieces. I love Peta’s honesty – in the “Walk Down Memory Lane” video package after they’re eliminated, she straight up says “I thought he’d be going home in the first four weeks.” If we’re being honest, most seasons he would have.

How did Sean stack up against our other former Bachelor, Season 10’s Jake Pavelka? Sean actually did better! Jake and Chelsie came in seventh, one rank lower than Sean. Of course, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft just won the All-Star Season, so she gets the title of most successful Bachelor-associated person on DwtS. Peta, meanwhile, equals her run from last season, where she placed sixth with Gilles Marini.

I have some fun trivia for you: as of this week, Derek has surpassed Cheryl as the pro with the most quarterfinal appearances (he’s made it ten times, Cheryl has made it nine times). And Karina catches up to Maks for third place, with eight quarterfinal appearances.

Next week, Derek will tie Cheryl for the most semifinal appearances, with nine each. Mark will tie Maks for the runner-up spot, with six semifinal appearances each. We’ll have to wait and see if either Mark or Derek can get into the finals a sixth time to tie Cheryl’s record there (my guess is they both will).

In an attempt to make the hierarchy of the remaining dancers less obvious, this week we got no official Bottom Two. Trying to mess with us, Ingo and Kym were declared safe early on, while Kellie and Derek were “in jeopardy.” Um, yeah, right. Did anyone believe for a hot second that they’d be eliminated? Me neither. This all had the opposite of the intended effect – once Ingo was declared safe, it became obvious that Sean would be going home. Jacoby and Karina joined them in the “may or may not be the bottom two.”

The encore went to Zendaya for her perfect Trio Salsa, which was just as much fun the second time around. We got a recap of last night’s insanity, and heard Len’s arguing much clearer; what he actually told Bruno is, “You’ve got your vocal cords up your arse!” And while Len was way out of line yesterday, he kind of has a point there.

It was also revealed what dances Twitter decided the couples would be performing next week. Alas, we will never see Sean and Peta’s Disco routine. Kym was petrified of getting Hip-Hop, but Zendaya and Val got it instead. Now, I don’t usually grouse about this, but in what world is it fair for Zendaya to dance hip-hop when that’s her career? If you want to tell me that although she’s a dancer, she has no ballroom experience, then fine… but her dancing hip-hop is patently unfair. And there might be some backlash for that.

The results show was jam-packed with performances. Jason Derulo and Emeli Sande both performed. Derek did a Macy’s Stars of Dance thing where he was dancing in a room the size of a cruise cabin (the cheapest ones that I always stay in). The twist was that the entire room was rotating, so it looked like Derek and his partner were dancing on the walls and the ceiling. It was cool, but the best performance of the night had to be Ingo’s son, Peanut, having a ball with the entire cast (also, there was a shot of Len wearing flip-flops… an image my mind can’t reconcile).

Now, those of you who are attentive will doubtless notice something weird going on. We have five couples going into the semifinals, with no dramatic monologues about a double elimination. This has been bugging me for the past few weeks, but I assumed there’s be a double elimination eventually. However, Entertainment Weekly revealed in their recap of yesterday’s show that this season, THE FINAL WILL HAVE FOUR COUPLES!!!

Take a moment to process this.

I’m furious over this – I’ve spent the past eight weeks harping on about the Final Three, as everyone has since the dawn of DwtS. And now, out of the blue, that all changes… without any dramatic video packages talking about how this changes everything! How could they? I guess they don’t want the final to just be the obvious three girls that everyone predicted in Week 1, but that’s no excuse. Humph.

Did the right couple go home? Will Ingo somehow unseat Jacoby next week for a spot in the final? And can you reconcile with the idea of a four-person final?

Cassandra Clare keeps expanding the Shadowhunters’ universe, with the first adult books of the chronicles just announced!

Clare announced via press release this morning that she’ll publish a trilogy about Magnus Bane, the fan-favorite warlock who’s appeared in every single one of her books and already received a collection of eleven spin-off novellas all about him (The Bane Chronicles). There is no word yet on whether the new books will tie in with the stories told in The Bane Chronicles.

Interestingly, this trilogy will be Clare’s first foray into adult literature, after writing extensively in the YA realm. She always pushed the boundaries of YA, though, with the inclusion of “Dirty Sexy Balcony Scenes” and the like. The first Shadowhunter book, City of Bones, was published in 2007, and the teens who picked it up back then will feel right at home in the adult section of a bookstore today.

Also of note, the series will be co-written with Wesley Chu (author of The Lives of Tao). Clare seems to like having co-writers when dealing with Magnus Bane; The Bane Chronicles are the only other Shadowhunter books that have other authors attached.

The first Magnus Bane book is expected to be published in November 2017. This means that Cassandra Clare will have three Shadowhunters series being published concurrently… The Dark Artifices, The Last Hours, and this Magnus Bane series.

If various sources are to be believed, all three will have an installment published in 2017. The second Dark Artifices book, Lord of Shadows, is expected in April. The Magnus Bane book, as mentioned above, is due in November. And the official site of the Shadowhunter Chronicles still says that the first Last Hours book, Chain of Thorns, is expected in 2017. Clare has a sixth series planned after getting some of these finished, The Wicked Powers, so there’ll be more Shadowhunters coming to a bookstore near you at least through the early 2020s.

Perhaps the decision to publish the Magnus Bane trilogy was based on the character’s success on the Shadowhunters TV show, where the fan favorite is portrayed by Harry Shum Jr. Shadowhunters was renewed for a second season by ABC Family, and it looks like they may have many seasons ahead of them.

Clare said, “Over the years writing the Shadowhunter books, Magnus Bane has emerged as one of the most fun and fascinating characters for me to bring to life… There are so many things we don’t know about Magnus, from the story of his first love to the secrets of his parentage, to the beginning of his relationship with Alec. All those are things I was able to touch on in The Bane Chronicles, but I’m excited to dig in even more deeply in these three volumes devoted to Magnus, his past, his future, and his present.”

Are you excited for three books all about Magnus Bane, or is this Shadowhunter overkill?

The Boxcar Children are heading to the big screen for a new movie series.

Many of us grew up with the wonderful Boxcar Children book series when we were kids. The stories by Gertrude Chandler Warner follow Henry, Jessie, Violet, and Benny, who live in a train boxcar as they search for a home. As kids we all wanted to live in that boxcar (or at least I did — I thought it was so cool to live in a train car with friends!).

According to a press release from Shout! Factory Studios and Legacy Classics, work on a new Boxcar Children animated movie series is well underway, with the first movie aiming for a release in 2017 (which marks the 75th anniversary of Boxcar Children #1). Two more Boxcar Children stories are also in development.

If the animation quality is at the Sunday-morning-cartoon level I probably won’t be very excited about it, but if it’s a more mature animation style (like a Pixar or a Coraline) I can imagine myself loving it.

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The Boxcar Children movie series is poised to do well thanks to the overall success of the books they’re based on. The novels have collectively sold over 70 million copies worldwide, with over 160 books (?!) in its arsenal. The two most recent books are titled The Legend of the Irish Castle and The Celebrity Cat Caper, which were both published this year. Looking through the history of the series, roughly four Boxcar Children books have been published annually. The original author, Gertrude Chandler Warner, only wrote the first 19.

A low-budget animated Boxcar Children film debuted two years ago, but today’s announcement marks a reboot with a new studio at the helm.

Arrested Development‘s fourth season aired three years ago today. To celebrate its legacy (and to try to forget how much we’re missing it right now), let’s rank the best recurring Arrested Development jokes!

It’s really no secret that Arrested Development has some of the best recurring jokes and gags of all time. Even people who don’t watch the show are familiar with things like “There’s always money in the banana stand” and “I’ve made a huge mistake.” The jokes in this show are just so understated and catchy that it would’ve been crazy had they not have caught on. Thanks to Arrested Development‘s recurring jokes, pop culture has never been quite the same.

To celebrate our undying love for Arrested Development, we decided to forgo the banner (sorry, everyone) and instead put together a list of all of the gags and jokes that we think are the best ones the show’s ever done. Not only that, but we’re leaving it up to you to rank them!

How to play: Love a certain joke and think that it should be at the top of the list? Upvote it. Really hate another joke and don’t understand how it got on the list in the first place? Hit that little downward-facing arrow. Don’t care either way for some of these gags? Then you can just leave them untouched. It’s all good! We just want to know what YOU think! With everyone participating we’ll be able to build a definitive list of the best Arrested Development jokes!

So, grab your denim cut-offs and hot ham water, and maybe even do a little chicken dance to get yourself pumped up (but not with the hot ham water in your hand, please). If you’re an Arrested Development fan, you’re sure to love ranking these jokes.

(Just be careful about which arrow you hit. You don’t want to hit the wrong one and find yourself saying “I’ve made a huge mistake.”)

Are there any ‘Arrested Development’ jokes missing from the list? Add them below!

 
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