You’ve seen what we DON’T want to happen, now check out our own personal wishlist.

“Sony announces they are no longer jerks, will release Spider-Man rights to Marvel”

Back when Marvel made comics and only comics, it went ahead and sold its most valuable properties to anyone that would buy them. Fox got the Fantastic Four and X-Men, and Sony stole Spider-Man. After three films, Sony held on to Spider-Man, even after Disney/Marvel attempted negotiations to include Spidey in the biggest superhero crossover event ever. It even went further and rebooted its property to function as competition for Disney/Marvel, even going so far as to stamp a release date for a sequel, which is tentatively titled Amazing Spider-Man 2: He’s Still Technically Ours.

“Chris Brown to get in a bathtub full of scissors for women’s charity”

To borrow a line from the comedian who famously got Chris Brown to remove his Twitter account, “Call me old fashioned, but shouldn’t Chris Brown be in jail?” We can do you one better. Chris Brown apologizes for his horrific behavior, and proceeds to crawl into a bathtub filled with scissors and lemon juice. All profits from the event (there WILL be tickets sold) would be donated to women’s shelters across the globe.

“Three-time Oscar winner Meryl Streep to join Mockingjay cast”

The Hunger Games film series is no stranger to Oscar nominated and Oscar winning actors in their midst. Factions of fans have started online petitions to get Streep to play the integral role of President Coin, and we have the tendency to respond to such speculation with a calm, cool and collected round of “OMG YESSSSS.” Nothing could make us happier than if the record-proven “best actor to exist ever” were to come on board to help wrap up the series.

Merlin to be renewed for sixth series, producers apologize for ruining everyone’s lives”

We’re celebrating a Month of Merlin here at Hypable, but the cause for our celebration is bittersweet. In a surprise move by the producers, fans were informed that series 5 would be Merlin‘s very last. With dozens of loose ends to tie up, only one solution makes sense: Dozens of new episodes to fulfill the fandom’s last requests.

“J.K. Rowling agrees to pen Hogwarts, A History

We’re not talking about a 60-page Quidditch Through The Ages exercise in brevity. We want 1,000 yellowing pages of historical glory, ranging from subjects like how Hogwarts survived the goblin rebellion, to a detailed and definitive map of the castle. Really, any return to Hogwarts would be met with open arms, but if we had the opportunity to put Hogwarts, A History on our shelves, we would fork over a month’s worth of galleons in an instant.

“Every 3D projector in the world breaks at once, 3D films rendered obsolete”

Unless a portion of your movie involves Ryan Gosling stepping out of the screen to invite an audience member to join his romantic love triangle, 3D has no place in the art of storytelling. We don’t want to get ourselves into any legal trouble here, but if a pseudo-terrorist group had hatched a plot to fill every 3D projector on Earth with strawberry jam to stop studios from launching blatant money-grabbing techniques, we might donate the three dollars we would have spent on those annoying glasses to their cause instead.

“Spice Girls and N*SYNC to go on worldwide SYNC and Spice and Everything Nice tour”

Although both sets of groups have vehemently rejected the idea of a comeback, a touring show starring both sets of entertainers would have enough mass appeal to ensure that at least fifty percent of humans on the planet would buy a ticket.

“Emma Stone to star in Lucille Ball biopic Lucy

This isn’t necessarily fandom based, but this bombshell actress has gained enough of a following to earn a fandom devoted just to her. Actors and actresses are recruited all the time to portray other famous people, and we can’t imagine anyone else with the humor, the class, and the chops to be able to take up the role. Bigwig studio producers everywhere, get on board with this before someone else does.

Sherlock series 3 to premiere tomorrow, episodes to double in length”

Each episode of Sherlock already clocks in at just under the length of an average movie, but what if every episode was the length of the average Peter Jackson outing? What if these episodes were premiering tomorrow? Twice the Cumberbatch, twice the mystery, and all of it happening tomorrow. In true Sherlock fashion, that whole “delayed” move was a ruse to put fans off of the scent. If only.

“Disney buys rights to Firefly, proves that dreams can come true”

With the surprising news that Disney had resurrected Star Wars from the dead, it wouldn’t be altogether surprising to see that it is capable of granting wishes made upon a star. Yes, two of the show’s main players are currently involved in their own series, but that shouldn’t stop the magic makers over at Disney studios from bringing back the ‘verse that we fell in love with back in ’03.

Which headlines do you REALLY want to see in 2013? Write your own in the comments!

DCOM marathon schedule: See full list of movies and when they air

The mega marathon begins Friday, May 27 and runs into June!

10:00 am EDT, May 27, 2016

The highly-anticipated Disney Channel Original Movie marathon began Friday, May 27 at 10 a.m. eastern and runs through the holiday weekend. See the complete DCOM marathon schedule here!

When Disney Channel says they’re running a DCOM marathon, they mean it. The network will be airing 51 DCOMs from Friday to Monday ahead of this summer’s release of their 100th DCOM, Adventures in Babysitting (debuting June 24). Who needs Memorial Day festivities when you can sit inside and enjoy Disney Channel classics all weekend?!

After Monday they’ll continue to air a couple more movies every night until they eventually air all 100 DCOMs. That’s right! Every single one of ’em is returning to television between now and late June.

Below is the complete list of DCOMs airing from Friday, May 27 into the middle of June. Since many are airing in the overnight hours, you’ll probably want to set up your DVR. Or in case you want to watch them again. And again.

DCOM Marathon Schedule

Friday, May 27

10:00AM Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama
11:20AM Read It and Weep
12:55PM Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior
2:40PM Jump In!
4:15PM Lemonade Mouth
6:15PM Zapped
8:00PM High School Musical 2
9:55PM The Cheetah Girls 2
11:45PM Zenon the Zequel
1:25AM Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge
2:55AM Twitches Too
4:25AM Alley Cats Strike!

Saturday, May 28

6:25AM You Wish!
8:05AM The Proud Family Movie
9:50AM Quints
11:25AM Horse Sense
1:10PM Cow Belles
2:50PM Twitches
4:30PM The Even Stevens Movie
6:15PM Wizards of Waverly Place The Movie
8:00PM Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam
9:50PM Princess Protection Program
11:30PM The Cheetah Girls: One World
1:05AM Zenon: Z3
2:40AM Halloweentown High
4:20AM The Thirteenth Year

Netflix DCOMs High School Musical

Sunday, May 29

6:00AM Right On Track
7:45AM Full-Court Miracle
9:35AM Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off
11:20AM Brink!
1:10PM Double Teamed
2:55PM Rip Girls
4:35PM Motocrossed
6:20PM Cloud 9
8:00PM Teen Beach 2
9:55PM Bad Hair Day
11:40PM How to Build a Better Boy
1:20AM Pixel Perfect
2:55AM The Other Me
4:30AM Genius

Monday, May 30

10:00AM Stuck in the Suburbs
11:30AM Halloweentown
1:05PM Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century
2:55PM Smart House
4:25PM High School Musical
6:15PM Camp Rock
8:00PM Descendants
10:05PM Teen Beach Movie
11:55PM Cadet Kelly
1:50AM The Cheetah Girls
3:35AM Johnny Tsunami

Camp Rock DCOM

After Memorial Day Weekend, Disney Channel will air two more DCOMs each night. Here’s the schedule so far (again, set your DVRs because these air late!)

Wednesday, June 1
12:00AM Return to Halloweentown
1:40AM Can of Worms

Thursday, June 2
12:00AM Going to the Mat
1:40AM Miracle in Lane 2

Friday, June 3
12:00AM The Suite Life Movie
1:40AM Ring of Endless Light

Saturday, June 4
12:00AM Invisible Sister
1:40AM Now You See It…

Sunday, June 5
12:00AM Girl vs. Monster
1:40AM Phantom of Megaplex

Monday, June 6
12:00AM Tru Confessions
1:40AM Tiger Cruise

Tuesday, June 7
12:00AM Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire
1:40AM Under Wraps

Wednesday, June 8
12:00AM Den Brother
1:40AM Go Figure

Thursday, June 9
12:00AM Avalon High
1:40AM Jett Jackson: The Movie

Friday, June 10 and beyond
As of right now Disney Channel hasn’t released the schedule beyond June 10.

Which DCOMs do you plan to watch during the Disney Channel Marathon?

Next week we’ll be launching a fun new game here on Hypable where we’ll seek your help in ranking every single DCOM in the history of DCOMs. It’s probably a good idea to watch as many of these as possible so you can brush up on your knowledge base and rank them accurately!

James Cameron’s Battle Angel adaptation has found its lead in Maze Runner standout Rosa Salazar.

According to Collider, Salazar has been officially confirmed as the lead in Alita: Battle Angel, beating out Maika Monroe and Zendaya for the titular role. The manga adaptation was developed by James Cameron, and will be directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Battle Angel Alita is a manga series by Yukito Kishiro, which takes place in the 26th century and follows a cyborg girl with amnesia. Designed with spectacular martial arts skills, Battle Angel becomes a bounty hunter, who makes a living tracking down violent criminals.

As Brenda in Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials and Lynn in Insurgent, Rosa Salazar is already well-known in dystopian YA circles. She’s also had recurring roles in Parenthood and American Horror Story, and you can currently catch her in FXX’s Man Seeking Woman.


James Cameron has been tinkering with this project for a while, but his extensive and all-consuming work on the Avatar sequels led him to hand over directorial duties to Robert Rodriguez last year. Rodriguez previously served as showrunner on From Dusk Till Dawn (after directing the movie of the same name in 1996), and his versatile directorial resumé includes Sin City, Spy Kids and The Faculty.

When Cameron picked Rodriguez as Battle Angel director, he said in a statement, “Robert and I have been looking for a film to do together for years, so I was pumped when he said he wanted to do Battle Angel. He’s very collaborative and we’re already like two kids building a go-kart, just having fun riffing creatively and technically.

“This project is near and dear to me, and there’s nobody I trust more than Robert, with his technical virtuosity and rebel style, to take over the directing reins. We’re looking forward to learning a lot from each other while we make a kick-ass epic.”

Alita: Battle Angel has no release date yet, but we’ll keep you posted. Here’s the official synopsis from IMDb:

“Alita is a creation from an age of despair. Found by the mysterious Dr. Ido while trolling for cyborg parts, Alita becomes a lethal, dangerous being. She cannot remember who she is, or where she came from. But to Dr. Ido, the truth is all too clear. She is the one being who can break the cycle of death and destruction left behind from Tiphares. But to accomplish her true purpose, she must fight and kill. And that is where Alita’s true significance comes to bear. She is an angel from heaven. She is an angel of death.”

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is set to continue Harry, Ron and Hermione’s story. Downside: The characters that survived Deathly Hallows are suddenly no longer safe!

Details about Cursed Child, the Harry Potter play opening in London next month, are being kept tightly under wraps.

But one teaser J.K. Rowling did let slip? It’s designed to make you cry.

Answering the Twitter question, “Will the Cursed Child make me cry?” Rowling strongly implied that the answer is yes — “or we’ll be checking your vital signs.”

Bombarded with worried follow-up questions, Rowling (randomly) chose to answer “why are you like this” by reminding fans of what she believes her primary responsibility is as an author: To make us feel things.

Of course there’s no reason to assume the “OMG RON IS DEFINITELY DYING AKSDJFSHFJ” position (even if that is the first instinct of this writer), but it is an indisputable fact that for many authors — Rowling included — evocative storytelling is synonymous with, “I’m going to make you love something, and then I’m gonna kill it.”

Cursed Child takes place 19 years after the conclusion of the Harry Potter saga. Not only are there many elderly characters we might reasonably fear for (including McGonagall, Hagrid, and Molly and Arthur Weasley), but J.K. Rowling’s Potter series has set a strong precedent for killing off parental figures to usher in a new generation of characters.

Related: England’s biggest bookstore announces first Cursed Child midnight release party

On the other hand, we could just be traumatized by the original Potter series, and everything is actually gonna be fine. Maybe J.K. Rowling simply expects us to cry tears of happiness because we get to return to the fantastic, magical world she has created.

What do you think? Is someone we love dying in Cursed Child, or will the plot make us emotional in other ways?