Supernatural season 9, episode 3 “I’m No Angel” aired tonight, featuring the adventures of a human Castiel and his angel blade.
So what happened in Supernatural season 9, episode 3 “I’m No Angel”?
- The episode opens as a group of fallen angels confronts two priests. They’re looking for Heaven on Earth’s most wanted: Castiel.
- The next day we find Cas — alias Clarence in an aww-inducing reference to the dearly departed Meg — is struggling with the basic tenants of humanity like brushing his teeth and urinating. Classy. Later Cas helps pick up litter but notices a blood trail that leads to the bodies the priests from earlier, hanging from a tree with their eyes burned out.
- In the Men of Letters bunker, Sam, who has already been on a jog, brings Dean a greasy breakfast, minus the judgment. Dean is worried about Sam, but when Sam starts to assure him that he’s fine, Ezekiel interrupts to confirm that Sam does feel better. But that wasn’t the point of this little pow-wow. No, Zeke has news: A rapidly organizing faction of angels is looking for Cas. Zeke offers his help but Dean tells him to back off. Sam conveniently doesn’t notice the conversation gap, and the Winchesters decide to look for Cas.
- Elsewhere, an angel, Bartholomew, has approached a televangelist named Buddy Boyle, claiming to have orders from above to populate a Heaven on Earth. Boyle then encourages his flock to accept any angels who may come to them. A member of Boyle’s staff offers herself but once an angel inhabits her, she explodes. It’s not an episode of Supernatural without a good blood spatter, after all.
- Meanwhile, Castiel shares food with a group of homeless people. He expresses his confusion at biological functions (still classy) and his mortality. Eventually he retreats into a bus to sleep but is attacked by an angel who wounds him. Cas, though, stabs him with his angel blade.
- The Winchesters try to track Cas down by following up on strange deaths that seem likely to be angel-related. They find Clarence’s friend from the shelter, who tells them Clarence had to keep moving.
- Cas ends up at a tattoo parlor to have Enochian warding sigils — a la the markings he gave Sam and Dean in season 5 — tattooed on himself. This makes it impossible for the angels to find him, but Bartholomew has another idea: Hire some freelance Reapers to find him instead. One follows Sam and Dean. You’d think Reapers would be wary of men who are on a first name basis with their boss, Death himself, but no.
- While Cas visits a church, Sam and Dean follow up on the angel Cas killed and eventually find their way to the group Cas shared food with. They’re told Clarence hitched a ride to Detroit. That’s not ominous or anything, what with Detroit being the place Sam said yes to Lucifer and all.
- In the Motor City, Cas is going through trash for food when a woman offers him a sandwich. Later that night, the same woman, April, finds Cas out in the rain and brings him home. As you do. She treats Castiel’s stab wound and he admits to trusting the wrong person out of vanity and now has to keep running. April kisses him and they get it on. Again, as you do.
- Elsewhere, Sam and Dean stop for food and take the opportunity to grab their Reaper tail. Dean puts his considerable torture skills to work, and the Reaper catches them up on the new angel hierarchy. He says another Reaper will find Cas, and Dean kills him. Alastair’s lessons are still being put to good use.
- April and Cas have a post-coital talk then get onto round two. The next morning, though, April reveals her completely unsurprising true colors: Reaper. She threatens Cas with his angel blade.
- Dean decides enough is enough; time for Plan B. Sam is confused as Dean tries not-so-subtly to get Ezekiel’s attention. Finally Zeke surfaces and Dean asks for help looking for a Reaper on Castiel’s trail since no one can find Cas himself.
- April ties Castiel up — not in the fun way — and tortures him for information about Metatron and the spell that cast the angels from Heaven. Sam and Dean burst in, but April stabs Cas and overpowers the Winchesters. After a struggle that knocks Sam out, Dean stabs April. But it’s too late for Cas.
- Or is it?
- Ezekiel revives Cas before passing out, and Cas and Sam both come to moments later. It’s a miracle! Cas is confused at how he’s still alive, so Dean invents a story about a deal with April. Cas is pleased that Dean lied for him but Sam doesn’t look convinced. Dean’s excuses re: Zeke are getting increasingly flimsy, and we’re only in the third episode of the season.
- Back in the bunker, Sam asks Dean how he found Cas, and Dean makes up yet another lie before Cas walks in. He praises the bunker — and its water pressure — and is generally pretty zen about being human. He also, in a humorous moment, drops the sexcapades bombshell on the brothers. Yep, that happened.
- Ezekiel then surfaces to tell Dean that Cas can’t stay because he will bring the angels down on them. This puts Ezekiel himself in danger, so he offers an ultimatum: If Cas stays, Ezekiel will leave, thus condemning Sam to death. Hm, maybe Zeke isn’t so trustworthy after all.
- Still, Dean doesn’t waver in his commitment to Sam so tells Cas that he can’t stay.
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