The actual presidential debate fares a little better. Blaine has his points prepared and expresses them simply and clearly, and formally, citing Brittany’s failure to do anything at all as president apart from organising a dinosaur-themed prom. Our Blaine is sometimes a little prone to histrionics when emotional, and he does get a little caught up in himself recounting his disgust at Brittany’s hair gel ban. “Ladies and gentlemen, telling anyone what they can or cannot put into their hair is disgusting. It’s the first step towards tyranny, my friends. Next thing you know, they’ll start burning books. And then they’ll probably start burning people, too.” Yeah, babe. Probably. They probably will. “That’s a lie,” Brittany sensibly states, but people seem genuinely amused and approving of Blaine’s speech. When it’s Brittany’s turn to respond, she opens with “I love you.” She then goes on to express how deeply she loves McKinley, and how she feels that everyone should love the school as much as she does. In fact, if elected, she plans to outlaw vacations, so that everyone can be at school all of the time. I mean, at this point, it’s very clear Blaine is going to win, but what’s not clear is whether Brittany has done this on purpose – that she’s decided she wants Blaine (or Sam) to win and so is saying things she knows people will hate, or if she simply took some advice from Artie about showing school pride way too far.
Isabelle calls Kurt into her office and asks him to brace himself. He thinks that he’s getting fired, but in fact, Isabelle forwarded the video they made to Anna (as in Wintour) and she responded saying “great,” – the highest praise Isabelle has gotten from Anna so far. They plan to use the concept and re-shoot the video professionally, giving Kurt full credit for the idea. Kurt is thrilled and thankful, and expresses his delight, as well as thanking Isabelle for helping Rachel and waxing lyrical about how much image change can affect the mental state. Isabelle enjoys Kurt’s passion as he babbles freely, and says she hopes he never loses the quality. They cement their friendship with one another, and Isabelle offers Kurt some advice – to be open to the idea of dreams changing, because she knows he wanted NYADA but she can tell how naturally attuned he is to the fashion industry and she foresees a day when every A-Lister in town would be fighting for his designs. Kurt looks struck by the prospect. One of Isabelle’s underlings interrupts them, asking which of the bad leather pitches they were going with, and Isabelle, filled with confidence and purpose, takes control and says they’re dropping that. She calls another pitch meeting for later that day and informs the staff that Kurt will be joining them, as an active participant.
The newly made-over Rachel is working out in the dance studio. I’m not sure exactly how different she looks apart from the fact she’s dancing with her hair out and she has on a baggy tshirt instead of a leotard, but this is enough to make Brody comment on how incredible she looks when he finds her there. He shares his own New York makeover story – as allegedly you’re not really settled into NYC until you’ve had one, and that some seniors helped him out when he came to town, scrawny with bad hair and a unibrow. He was introduced to waxing and the gym, and it changed his life. Just before this takes a turn for the way-too-shallow, Rachel comments that when you change the outside, the inside follows, and Brody rebuts this, saying he believes it to be the opposite, that Rachel’s outside has caught up to how she feels about herself inside, which is a much nicer sentiment. Talk turns to actual study, and Rachel tells Brody she’s working on a song and dance number – she likes to prepare something new every day in order to keep everything in working order. He admits to being the same and Rachel asks if Brody would like to perform with her. They sing and dance intensely together to Sheryl Crow’s “A Change Would Do You Good” and the scene cuts to a montage of the pair running around the streets of the West Village and onto the Chelsea High Line. Once they’re on the street, Rachel is wearing an outfit pretty much exactly similar to the outfit she was wearing with Kurt pre-makeover, except she’s swapped the skirt for some very cool houndstooth shorts. I’m still not seeing the total makeover, is it just the tousled hair? I have that makeover every day, it’s called getting out of bed. Anyway, they finish the number in the dance studio, both panting and staring like they’ve been doing something… else. Brody contributes to that imagery by saying, “That was amazing. You’re amazing.” Rachel, seeming surprised at herself, asks Brody over to the apartment so that she can cook him dinner.
At school, Sue reveals the winner of the “record low” election voting, and unsurprisingly, the winner is Anderson/Evans, or, as the banner celebrating their win at Breadstix states, Blam. Much confetti is thrown and many high fives are given. Artie congratulates Blaine, calling his removal of the bow ties a game-changer, and Blaine offers him a position on the administration. Artie declines, saying he got what he needed – Sugar asked him out on a date – horse riding. “I’m just hoping it doesn’t involve being towed,” Artie says off-handedly and it’s one of the funnier lines of the night. Artie then asks what Kurt’s reaction was, and our boy puts on a brave face and lies his gelled little head off. “Ah, yeah, yeah. He was super proud of me, he’s really excited, he’s already planning a whole inaugural ball.” Artie’s pretty much like “cool story, bro,” and rolls away, as Blaine pulls out his phone for what is obviously not the first time this evening and tries to call his terrible, terrible boyfriend. We see Kurt in the Vogue offices gossiping with Isabelle and the staff – not a meeting, just hanging out and drinking. It isn’t that Kurt misses Blaine’s call – he sees it, considers picking up, puts the phone down, considers it again, and then eventually presses decline, going back to the conversation where Isabelle is talking movies and teasing Kurt about how young he is.
A jubilant Sam catches Blaine just as Blaine finishes attempting the call, but his cheer turns to mild concern when he sees the look on Blaine’s face. He asks if Blaine’s alright, and the tightly wound coil inside Blaine snaps, as it does every so often. “You know, it didn’t hit me until right now. I came to McKinley for Kurt. That’s it. And now he’s gone, and even with glee club, it just.. I feel really, really alone.” Sam blearily narrows his eyes – if this was a college show, I’d say he was drunk – and says Blaine is kind of killing his party buzz. Blaine apologises, but continues to rant, saying he did all this for Kurt – he repeats this point outright angrily, with a fair amount of distress – and that now Kurt’s not even there, it feels like none of it matters. Excuse me while I’m over in the corner punching the air about how validated I feel in regards to the subtle, ongoing problems with this couple being outright addressed. Sam assures Blaine that it does matter – that Blaine is the school’s first ‘gay-guy’ president, and while Sam liked Kurt a lot, he couldn’t relate to him. He wisely points out that he and Blaine being proper friends – Blaine being his ‘gay bro,’ like Wolverine and Cyclops – and showing people that they’re cool with each other, that’s what matters. Blaine is mildly consoled and quite touched by this, and then naturally, these two nerds start bickering over who gets to be Wolverine.
As Blaine leaves the booth where Sam has parked himself, he passes Brittany, who congratulates him and he thanks her curtly. Am I the only one getting the impression that Blaine doesn’t have a lot of time for Brittany – not because of the election, but that he resents her behaviour in general? Because I’m pretty sure that’s a thing. He’s constantly calling her out and is very impatient – for him – about doing so. Anyway, Britt passes him to sit with Sam, and he admits that he voted for her and consoles her about losing. They begin to cuddle and alarm bells start going off in my head about the worst and most disappointing upcoming ship Glee could potentially create. Please no, please no, please no.
Will visits Sue in her office as she works out the elliptical, and tells her that he’s taking her advice to get out of McKinley. He explains that he’s mailed the application for the government panel, but that he needs a written letter of recommendation from a colleague, and he’d like her to do it. Sue has already prepared such a letter in anticipation, filled with glowing untruths, such as Will being descended from Harriet Tubman and that he delivered Sue’s baby with his bare hands. “What can I say, William. I want you out of here, and for the first time, I think I mean that in a good way.”
At the Bushwick apartment, Rachel is nervously laying out clothing choices and attempting to cook. Naturally, she almost sets the whole kitchen on fire and throws wine on it to try and put it out. At this ideal moment, Brody rings the doorbell. “Wow, you’re smoking,” he says, taking in Rachel. “It’s the duck,” she replies miserably. I’d find this a lot funnier if it wasn’t already canon that Rachel was a vegan. Brody actually meant it in the sexy complimentary way, and the pair end up on the floor eating pizza in a relaxed fashion as the late, great Andy Williams’ “Moon River” plays in the background. Brody admits that no one has ever tried to cook him dinner before, and Rachel laughs and tells him she doesn’t believe him. He insists that it’s true, and she says she’s never done it before either, but that it’s all part of the new Rachel, trying new things. She tells him she was never the ‘cook a guy dinner’ type, but more the ‘annoy a guy for a year until he finally gives in’ type. Brody asks to know more about this old Rachel, and they begin to exchange secrets, things they’ve never told anyone before. Brody admits that as a kid he was a fan of Ace of Base. Rachel teases him about this, and then reveals that when she was eight, she got her first childhood love letter from a very sweet boy and she corrected the spelling and grammatical errors and handed it back to him. (A generation of Fall Out Boy fans all start screaming “I GOT YOUR LOVE LETTERS/CORRECTED THE GRAMMAR/AND SENT THEM BACK” at the screen). She laughs at the memory and talks freely, saying she’s never told anyone that before, not even Finn – and saying his name pulls her back into reality and awkwardness. They stare at each other and Brody reminds Rachel that, no matter how lovely this all is, that he’s hands-off – they’re just friends. His eyes say something very different, and he’s basically waiting for Rachel’s permission. She gives it, with her body language, and they begin to kiss, leaning back into the cushions. They’re getting into it when the doorbell rings, and they break apart, laughing happily. Rachel, all smiles, says not to worry, it’s Kurt, as he always forgets his keys. She opens the door and it’s obviously not Kurt. It’s Finn. Rachel looks stricken, and Finn goes from one of his two main facial expressions – Labrador puppy – to his other main one, confusion, as he sees Rachel’s shock and sees Brody pull himself up from the cushions in the background.
Make sure to tune in next week for the ominous “Break-Up,” which Ryan Murphy claims is the best episode they’ve ever done. Who do you think will actually break up? Who will be resolved by the end of the episode? Who won’t? What do you want to happen?
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