‘Glee’ Recap: 4×03 ‘Makeover’

12:45 pm EDT, September 28, 2012

Last night’s episode of Glee included a student council election, a new job for Kurt, a new look for Rachel, and a whole heap of set-up for what looks to be a very dramatic mini-finale next week. Also, we got our first look at Sarah Jessica Parker in her guest role on the show. Read our full Glee recap below:

Congratulations, Blaine Warbler. You may have been dominating Glee’s iTunes sales for coming up on two years, a McKinley regular for one, and the absolute, undeniable fan favorite, but to me, you’re not a real Glee lead character until you’ve had an inner monologue, and today, son, is your day. Our boy strolls through the school halls, speaking in voice-over about how it’s time for him to step forward and be involved in life at McKinley. We see him signing up for a multitude of clubs, and then we cut to the auditorium where Blaine begins to perform “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” by Tears for Fears. This song soundtracks the following scenes, as we cut between the performance and Blaine getting involved in these clubs, including the Superhero Sidekick Appreciation Society – which explains the Robin twitpic – and a live-action role playing Dungeons and Dragons group where he is the group’s wizard (oh, ha ha). The performance pauses as Blaine’s inner monologue continues. He admits that part of the reason for taking up the extracurriculars is to fill his days now that Kurt is gone – they’re in as much contact as they can be. “The only time we’re really in sync is when we’re hate-watching Treme together,” which is a scene we then witness as Blaine offers Kurt – via Skype – some of his popcorn, pretending they’re together. The number ends with all his new be-costumed club friends dancing around him on the auditorium stage, and in the hallway Blaine eyes one last sign-up sheet – the student council elections. He adds his name to the only other candidate on the list – Brittany S. Pierce.

In New York, Blaine’s worse half is prepping for an interview he’s somehow scored for an internship at Vogue.com. Kurt’s meeting is with Isabelle Wright (Sarah Jessica Parker), the new senior editor of the website and a cutting edge fashion designer in her own right. Kurt is terrified – yet very stylish – as he enters her office, but Isabelle is instantly warm and disarming to Kurt, revealing that she is from Columbus, Ohio, nearby to Lima. She is impressed with the online resume Kurt submitted, particularly the gallery of his own outfits (see www.hirehummel.com) and asks him where he got his wardrobe. Answering ten thousand nit-picking fans’ questions about how Kurt has been able to afford the things he wears, (which have been tracked down IRL and revealed to be thousands of dollars worth of designer couture), Kurt admits that he made most of them, copying designs he liked, and searched the internet for bargain pieces. Isabelle proceeds to interview Kurt about his ideas and experience, and he tells her his plans of NYADA and Broadway. Isabelle offers Kurt encouragement, saying New York is the place for people like him – dreamers starting out – and her – people needing to re-invent themselves. She hires him on the spot – “Anyone who can pull off a hippo brooch deserves to be here.” Kurt throws himself on her in a hug, and proceeds to stab his new boss with the hippo. “That should come with a warning!” she says, tapping the brooch. “Oh, it did,” Kurt replies.

Brittany approaches Artie at school and asks him to run with her as her Vice President. “Did you know that Franklin Roosevelt was part robot too, and he’s on Mount Rushmore?” “No he’s isn’t,” Artie replies, “and I’m just gonna say it again, I’m not part robot.” He’s reluctant at first, but when Brittany admits that if she wins she plans to do nothing – again – and let him make all the decisions, Artie is intrigued by this plan – because women love power, apparently, and he’d like to date someone for more than a couple of weeks. “Don’t take that personally,” he tells her. “Why would I take that personally?” “We dated.” “We did?” Oh, Glee, you are learning to play to your strengths again and make fun of the moments of your own epic fail! Well done! Artie agrees to be Brittany’s running-mate – the Cheney to her Bush, though she’d prefer to be “Landing Strip.” Thanks for that one, Glee.

In the choir room, Will announces that as the Nationals champions, McKinley will be hosting the annual Show Choir rules committee meeting. This is met with a brilliant outburst: “Please tell me you’re going to ask what ‘one-third’ vintage meant last year?” Tina asks, laughing. “Or like, why some teams could sing six songs and others only do one?” Sam demands indignantly. It seems like New Directions themselves have been just as confused and disgruntled by the bizarre competition process as fandom has been, but this is another flawless moment of Glee lampshading its own past indiscrepancies and it’s making me love the show so much right now. And shouldn’t the club already be preparing ideas for competition, Jake inquires, to which Schue gives a cagey answer about not wanting to give anything away yet. As he continues to talk to the club, his voice-over starts, admitting that he has no ideas – that he’s all tapped out with where to take the club from here. Will, it’s not that hard. Find songs, make kids sing songs, the end.

Brittany interrupts what Will’s saying to the class in order to ask the glee club if anyone can prove that Blaine was born in the United States, and also to announce Artie as her running mate, which is met with general approval – except by her new blonde BFF Sam, who looks somewhat hurt. She points out that the election is pretty much over because between her and Artie, they will cover enough demographics to get all the votes – though she does consider the demographics to be humans and robots – and Blaine, my optimistic baby boy, objects with his fixed grin that’s more of a grimace, “Brittany, that’s not fair, it’s not a popularity contest. It’s about who’s got the best ideas, it’s about believing you can make a change… Right?” The others start to make fun of Blaine’s objection – Artie calls it ‘sour grapes,’ as class is dismissed and Sam stares poignantly and obviously after Brittany as the group leaves.

In the staff room Will is struggling to come up with a theme for Sectionals and vents his frustration to Sue. “I can’t decide between ‘Classic TV Themes’ or ‘A Salute To Autumn’.” Sue calls these out as the craptastic ideas they are, and Will shakes his head in defeat, saying he doesn’t know what happened to all his good ideas. “Don’t kid yourself, you never had any good ideas. You just didn’t notice because you were too busy chasing your bizarre childhood dream of a glee club national championship.” Preach it, Sue. She says that now Will has achieved his dream, he’s waking up to the boring monotony of being a normal high school teacher and that he should probably get out now, before becoming an alcoholic or morbidly obese, and explore other job opportunities. “Your lack of adult friends means you’re well on your way to a career as a pedophile birthday clown.” In seriousness, she does give him the advice – “You had a dream. You achieved it. Move on.” Will sighs, clearly not wanting to admit that she may be right.

Expectedly, Sam quizzes Brittany about why she didn’t pick him, her new bestie, as her running-mate. She says that she didn’t want to ruin their friendship – citing Sarah Palin and her ‘grandfather’ (John McCain) no longer being on speaking terms, but she does think Sam would make a good VP, so she ‘introduces’ Sam to Blaine (“Um, we’ve actually met.. several times…”) and offers him up as Blaine’s Vice President candidate. Blaine turns them down at first, saying he will be picking his own running-mate, but Sam sells himself to Blaine on the strength of the demographics he covers – “My family’s on food stamps, so that will get you the sympathy vote. I’m not gay, so that’ll help with the not-gay vote.” Blaine sizes Sam up, throws caution into the wind and agrees to take Sam as his running partner. Brittany is pleased by this and gives them their first order of business – she challenges the pair to a debate with herself and Artie. “What’s a debate?” the newly-stupidified Sam asks Blaine, who I’m sure is instantly regretting his decision.

In the Vogue offices, Isabelle is chairing a meeting at which Kurt serves drinks. She has voiced the idea of a feature on leather to her team, who come up with some truly excruciating ideas, though Isabelle is encouraging towards them. Every time someone pitches another awful idea, Kurt nearly physically recoils in disgust and disdain, which does not go without Isabelle’s notice. Isabelle dismisses the meeting and calls Kurt into her office, asking him what he thought of what he’d heard. He reluctantly admits that he had hated the staff’s ideas, and Isabelle wholeheartedly agrees with him, but she feels trapped into the piece due to promising the receptionist – whose cat had just died – that she would use her idea of ‘trends in animal hide,’ and now she’s stuck with this leather theme. Kurt tries to calm her, saying there are a million good ideas out there that could be used, such as a music video featuring fashion, and Isabelle admits that she’d also given the go-ahead to another staff member’s awful idea featuring “spankles” (Spanx for cankles). Isabelle begins to have a minor breakdown and admits to Kurt that – coming from being an independent creative designer – she finds the management aspect of her job difficult, she can’t say no to people. She feels like she’s lost touch with what a good idea is and what’s plain crazy, and that she’s lucked into a job she doesn’t deserve. She starts to become a little hysterical, fearing failure in this role and that she will lose the job, then her apartment, and will become homeless. Kurt comforts her. “You are not going to be homeless, alright? You can always come stay with me and my roommate in Bushwick.” Isabelle looks like she’d rather take the homelessness.

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20 Frodo and Bilbo Baggins quotes to sweep you off your feet

Alive or dead dragons, I wouldn't dare laugh at either.

11:30 am EDT, September 22, 2016

It’s Hobbit Day, aka Frodo and Bilbo Baggins’ birthday! To celebrate, we’ve got the wittiest, wisest, and best Frodo and Bilbo quotes from all four books.

Best Frodo and Bilbo quotes:

  1. “We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, An Unexpected Party
  2. Frodo: “‘Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam, would he, dad?'”
    Sam: “Now, Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t make fun. I was serious.”
    Frodo: “So was I.”
    – Frodo and Sam, The Two Towers, The Stairs of Cirith Ungol
  3. “Victory after all, I suppose! Well, it seems a very gloomy business.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, The Return Journey
  4. frodo-baggins-sam-quotes

  5. “I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, Mount Doom
  6. “Farewell, King under the Mountain! This is a bitter adventure, if it must end so; and not a mountain of gold can amend it. Yet I am glad that I have shared in your perils – that has been more than any Baggins deserves.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, The Return Journey
  7. “Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.”
    – Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring, A Short Cut to Mushrooms
  8. “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
    – Bilbo, The Fellowship of the Ring, A Long Expected Party
  9. “There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same. I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden. Where shall I find rest?”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, Homeward Bound
  10. the-hobbit-bilbo-baggins-quotes-dragons

Read full article

It’s Hobbit Day, aka Frodo and Bilbo Baggins’ birthday! To celebrate, we’ve got the wittiest, wisest, and best Frodo and Bilbo quotes from all four books.

Best Frodo and Bilbo quotes:

  1. “We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, An Unexpected Party
  2. Frodo: “‘Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam, would he, dad?'”
    Sam: “Now, Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t make fun. I was serious.”
    Frodo: “So was I.”
    – Frodo and Sam, The Two Towers, The Stairs of Cirith Ungol
  3. “Victory after all, I suppose! Well, it seems a very gloomy business.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, The Return Journey
  4. frodo-baggins-sam-quotes

  5. “I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, Mount Doom
  6. “Farewell, King under the Mountain! This is a bitter adventure, if it must end so; and not a mountain of gold can amend it. Yet I am glad that I have shared in your perils – that has been more than any Baggins deserves.”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, The Return Journey
  7. “Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.”
    – Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring, A Short Cut to Mushrooms
  8. “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
    – Bilbo, The Fellowship of the Ring, A Long Expected Party
  9. “There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same. I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden. Where shall I find rest?”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, Homeward Bound
  10. the-hobbit-bilbo-baggins-quotes-dragons

  11. “Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!”
    – Bilbo to himself, The Hobbit, Inside Information
  12. “Yes, you have seen a thing or two since you last peeped out of a looking-glass.”
    – Frodo to himself, The Fellowship of the Ring, Many Meetings
  13. “Bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing!”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, Roast Mutton
  14. “It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing.”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, The Scouring of the Shire
  15. “‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,” he used to say. ‘You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to.'”
    – Frodo quoting Bilbo, The Fellowship of the Ring, Three is Company
  16. lotr-frodo-baggins-quotes-i-will-take-the-ring

  17. “I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.”
    – Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Council of Elrond
  18. “So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending!”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, The Return Journey
  19. “I can manage it. I must.”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, Mount Doom
  20. “Sorry! I don’t want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good morning! But please come to tea – any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Good-bye!”
    – Bilbo, The Hobbit, An Unexpected Party
  21. “It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.”
    – Frodo, The Return of the King, The Grey Havens
  22. bilbo-baggins-quotes-wander-are-lost

  23. “All that is gold does not glitter,
    Not all those who wander are lost.”
    – Bilbo, The Fellowship of the Ring, Strider
  24. “I should like to leave the Shire, if I could – though there have been times when I thought the inhabitants too stupid and dull for words, and have felt that an earthquake or an invasion of dragons might be good for them. But I don’t feel like that now. I feel that as long as the Shire lies behind, safe and comfortable, I shall find wandering more bearable: I shall know that somewhere there is a firm foothold, even if my feet cannot stand there again.”
    – Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Shadow of the Past

Tell us your favorite Frodo and Bilbo quotes in the comments!

With one reason for every inning of America’s pastime, here’s why you’ve got to watch Pitch — the story of Ginny Baker, the first female major league baseball player.

1. Ginny is a badass

It sounds tropey, but it’s true. Kylie Bunbury’s Ginny Baker is everything you could want in such a singular protagonist. Confident and strong, yet vulnerable in her impassivity, Ginny’s physical and emotional capabilities are quickly established — and just as quickly challenged.

Ginny humanizes the superhuman aura that surrounds high-level athletes, while never losing the essential strength that makes her a great ballplayer, and a badass character.

Read full article

With one reason for every inning of America’s pastime, here’s why you’ve got to watch Pitch — the story of Ginny Baker, the first female major league baseball player.

1. Ginny is a badass

It sounds tropey, but it’s true. Kylie Bunbury’s Ginny Baker is everything you could want in such a singular protagonist. Confident and strong, yet vulnerable in her impassivity, Ginny’s physical and emotional capabilities are quickly established — and just as quickly challenged.

Ginny humanizes the superhuman aura that surrounds high-level athletes, while never losing the essential strength that makes her a great ballplayer, and a badass character.

2. It’s a baseball TV show!

While there have been a handful of baseball-related television shows in the past (and CBS tried to launch a series based on A League of Their Own back in 1993), the sport has mostly been colonized by film. But baseball is its own long-form story, stretching out almost daily for 162 games a year. A week-by-week look into the evolving narrative of a baseball season just screams TV, and Pitch is ready to deliver.

3. Ginny isn’t a ‘smurfette’

Ginny Baker steps into a world so thoroughly dominated by men that it would have been easy to cast her as the only significant female in the series. Pitch deftly avoids that trap, supporting Ginny with her firecracker agent Amelia Slater (Ali Larter) and a strong friendship with her teammate’s wife Evelyn (Meagan Holder). Pitch isn’t just about girl power, but it’s got plenty to offer.

4. It’s an inside look at professional sports

It’s tempting, as fans, to reduce the sport we love to what happens on the field, restricting the narrative to the winners (and losers), but Pitch dives into the business around baseball, from the vise-like pressure of media attention to the front office politics that are so often shrouded in mystery.

Slick general manager Oscar Arguella (Mark Consuelos) covers the ground between team manager Al Luongo (Dan Lauria) and the Padre’s owner, while players carefully observe the shifting values of their team. Winning, Pitch makes clear, is as much a product of what happens off the diamond as on it.

Pitch-02419Valjdhgw1_hires2

5. It’s got drama

Pitch does more than use baseball as a backdrop (this isn’t Moneyball writ small), but it’s not just concerned with balls, bats, and cleats. Professionalism only goes so far where major social change is concerned, and the Padres clubhouse quickly becomes a source of tension between Ginny and many of her teammates. That’s in addition to the family drama Ginny brings with her — which, trust us, is a lot more intense than it seems.

6. The music is amazing

Forget “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Opening with a pulse-pounding synth violin, the music of Pitch takes off into a realm of unique, intense, and captivating tunes. Even if Ginny’s badassery doesn’t inspire you to get off your couch, the show’s music just might.

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7. It’s really diverse!

Pitch boasts a diverse cast of characters, reflecting the reality of modern baseball, as well as… well, reality. Ginny herself is African-American, and half the main cast is made up of people of color. It doesn’t seem like race will be a central subject in Pitch, but the show’s makeup is a valuable addition to a television landscape that values representation.

8. It’s deeply psychological

For a show about sports, and therefore, about physical bodies, Pitch takes its time to consider what goes on inside the heads of athletes under pressure. From the fishbowl scrutiny of a stadium full of fans, to the grueling mental toll of becoming the best, Pitch cares as much about what’s going on inside Ginny’s head as what’s going on with her arm.

9. ‘Pitch’ lets us imagine, “What if?”

As it stands today, Pitch is not a realistic series. There are little to no avenues for women to grow in professional baseball; though girls can play Little League, those who wish to pursue the sport are usually shunted to softball.

But Pitch invites us to imagine an unrestricted future for women in baseball. What if a girl had enough talent and grit to make it? What if the system let her through? What if she used finesse instead to succeed in a sport of brute strength?

It’s not a reality yet. But maybe someday life will imitate this truly groundbreaking art.

Pitch premieres tonight at 9:00 p.m. on Fox.

What are you excited to see in ‘Pitch’?

Finally, J.K. Rowling is here to give you the definitive answer to the age old Harry Potter fan question: What is your Patronus?

We got a Hogwarts House quiz. Then we got another Hogwarts House quiz. Then we found our Ilvermorny house, and now — at last — J.K. Rowling’s official Patronus quiz is live on Pottermore.

Note that the quiz parameters are very strictly defined: The quiz itself is timed, and you can only take it once (per account). So make sure you’re ready before you start! Good luck.

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Finally, J.K. Rowling is here to give you the definitive answer to the age old Harry Potter fan question: What is your Patronus?

We got a Hogwarts House quiz. Then we got another Hogwarts House quiz. Then we found our Ilvermorny house, and now — at last — J.K. Rowling’s official Patronus quiz is live on Pottermore.

Note that the quiz parameters are very strictly defined: The quiz itself is timed, and you can only take it once (per account). So make sure you’re ready before you start! Good luck.

When J.K. Rowling took the test a while back, her answer was a pine marten. I actually got this result as well! But apparently, Jo is allowed to take the quiz multiple times (which, you know, fair enough, she did make up this quiz + everything else we’re obsessing about), and this time she got a heron. Anyone else get a heron like Jo?

The quiz results seem to vary greatly. We’re not sure exactly how many different results there are, but other fans are reporting a wide variety of animals lynxes, chow dogs, wildcats, white and chestnut stallions, dolphins, leopards, St Bernard dogs, orangutans, tortoiseshell cats, foxes, weasels… you name it, this quiz has it! Unfortunately Pottermore doesn’t give any information about what these animals represent, though we are to imagine they somehow connect to our happiest memories.

In a press release, Pottermore says there’s more to come about “[the Patronus spell] and its outcomes.” In addition, they’ve confirmed there are magical creatures in the quiz, but they’re rare.

The quiz is very fun, and different from anything else we’ve tried on Pottermore so far. Instead of simply answering questions it’s all very intuitive, as you journey through a forest, and encouraging words (that we like to imagine are from Professor Lupin) about your progress in casting the spell.

Some people will find that the process is relatively straightforward, while others might be prompted to answer a few more questions before they get their final result.

Take the quiz right now, and come back here to share your results in the comments!

What is a Patronus?

In the Harry Potter series, the Patronus is a wispy creature that emerges from a witch or wizard’s wand when they cast the “Expecto Patronum” charm.

The creature serves as a manifestation of your happiest memory, and is summoned to ward off evil forces. It’s very hard to produce a Patronus, and it was therefore very remarkable when Harry learned to do it in his third year, when he used it to save Sirius Black from the Dementors.

Harry Potter’s Patronus is a stag, which was his father James’ Animagus form (the animal he turned into when he transformed). Lily Evans’ Patronus was a doe, which fit perfectly with James’ stag — but as Severus Snape loved Lily, too, his Patronus was also a doe.

In fifth year, Harry taught the Patronus charm to the members of Dumbledore’s Army. Hermione’s was an otter, Ron’s was a Jack Russell terrier, Ginny’s was a horse, Luna’s was a hare, and Cho’s was a swan. Clearly, there are as many different results to the Patronus quiz as there are variations of the charm in the Wizarding World.

Not satisfied with your quiz result?

If J.K. Rowling’s own Patronus quiz didn’t give you the answer you wanted, well… that’s canon for you, right? But we’ve still got a fun alternative: Find out which of these bizarre creatures is your true Patronus, and compare the results!