And the couple eliminated after only one outing in the ballroom is… Lolo Jones and Keo Motsepe!
Lolo completely messed up her routine Monday, but I think what did her in was that she did not appear fun on a season full of people going for laughs. And it cannot be overstated that the professional dancers all have their own fanbases, so new pros like Keo are inherently at a disadvantage.
For the first time in forever we had an official Bottom Two! The other major screw-up of Monday, Betsey, joined Lolo in the Bottom Two. Lolo made a very graceful exit, saying that Betsey was messed up by a prop whereas Lolo messed up on her own, and therefore Betsey deserved to stay. Definitely one of the classiest parting statements on the show.
Tom and Tony both had to explain to Betsey what being in jeopardy meant; once she understood, she nuzzled Tony’s crotch in grief. Later, Betsey asked Erin and Tavis to undo her corset live on air, while Erin protested that it’s a family show. Are they really keeping up that pretense? Because half the costumes, three quarters of the routines, and 100% of Bruno’s comments definitely do not belong on a family show!
Joining the Bottom Two in jeopardy were Michael and Emma, and Lea and Artem. This was despite Artem wearing purple Calvin Klein underwear Monday night! As soon as Artem said that, he went up immeasurably in my esteem. I’m very glad that both Michael and Lea stayed on. I’m less glad about Tommy, but there’s always next week.
As for other couples… Antonio was declared safe first, ensuring no one will remember his existence at show’s end yet again. Sharna was supremely unconcerned with the results, fixing her eyes as she and Tavis awaited results. Jonathan opens his mouth and eyes very wide most of the time… and refers to Sadie as “duck girl.” Very fetch of him. Alfonso obviously got to perform the encore. Nobody else did anything memorable.
In fact, the whole results show felt very rusty, after a season without them. At least half the hour was devoted to recapping Monday night. The video packages about why contestants wanted to do DWTS were just reiterations of the celebs’ intros, and had text flying everywhere like some amateur’s lyric music video.
The one highlight was a featurette about the new pros – Allison, Artem, and dearly departed Keo. They all stripped down in a warehouse with some baby oil, to spin for us as they introduced themselves. Then they got to have a whole dance to spotlight them. I am slightly miffed that ABC squandered a cross-promotional opportunity here – if you’re going to have pros dancing to some silly song that keeps talking about Bae, it should really be a Once Upon a Time-themed number. Anyway, DWTS should really do this kind of thing every season – I feel like the new pros of the last two seasons are pretty much interchangeable in my mind, because we never got to know them.
After the new pros were introduced, Tom volunteered to show us the audition tape of one of our veteran pros. Surprise, surprise, Twitter picked Derek’s. Cut to an absolutely adorable 21-year-old Derek Hough earnestly saying that he wants to entertain people twenty times over. That was a delight, and I demand that we get to see ALL of these audition tapes! DWTS, you are not allowed to tease us like that.
Were you hoping Lolo and Keo would stick around longer? And whose audition tape do you most want to see?
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