I finally went to go see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the verdict is: It’s alright. It wasn’t nearly as bad as people had me believing, but it definitely had room for improvement.
Since Paramount has announced a sequel, how can the studio make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 better?
1. The Turtles
It goes without saying that the boys must be the centre of the upcoming movie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying relegate April to a supporting role, but I think everyone would be perfectly happy with them sharing the spotlight. I want to see more turtles, so having them front and centre from the get go would be grand.
2. Will Arnett
I’m sorry, he seems like a perfectly nice guy, but let’s chuck him to the curb. His only real purpose in this film was to be April’s driver and objectify Megan Fox. Awesome. He did not need to be in this film, he could have easily been lifted out of the story and there would be no loss. I’m sure April could have driven herself around New York.
I don’t know why the writers felt the need to bring back Vernon Fenwick from the 1987 TV show, unless they were trying to make him a substitute until Casey Jones arrives, but either way he contributed nothing to story. Even then I’m sure audiences would have been perfectly fine with just the turtles and April.
3. Megan Fox/April O’Neil
I have actually never had any issue with Megan Fox or her acting, I don’t think she’s had any particularly Oscar worthy performances, but I’ve never considered her a bad actress. I will admit though that this might just be my opinion.
However, I want the writers to take a page from some of her over incarnations (maybe less from the 1987 TV show) and give O’Neil a bit more credit and general awesome-ness. Let’s stop the fainting, let’s not objectify her (although considering Michael Bay’s involvement in the film I was surprised by how tame it was in comparison to other performances), and I’m totally okay with her saving herself.
4. April and the Turtles
I want more interaction. I want the brothers interacting and exploring their personalities but I also would love some development in their relationship with April. If you haven’t picked up on it, April is my girl, she was from the first moment I saw her on the 2003 TV show.
What can I say? I have a soft spot for her. I would love to see her soft spots shown towards the boys. That end scene where all five of them beat Shredder was the moment I waiting for throughout this entire movie.
Next movie, get in the van with them. I just want Raph, Donny, Leo, Mikey, April and Casey Jones driving into the sewers together. IT’S ALL I WANT!
5. Plot/Tone
Okay, so maybe it’s not all I want. I have to agree with the Hypable review of this movie that the tone was all over the place. The elevator scene onwards is what I want, without Will Arnett. That would be perfect.
Let’s get a better villain plot. The villains themselves are fine-ish, but their evil plan was very meh, and had too many holes in it. My ten year old cousin who loves the current cartoon show (and did really like the movie) asked me after the movie how Shredder and co. were going to survive the poison when they hadn’t taken the antidote themselves. Solid question. I’m not saying we need an overly complicated Game of Thrones style plot, but maybe add a few layers so a ten year old can’t poke holes into it quite as easily.
Overall, I enjoyed the movie for what it was, a live action adaption of a cartoon series. I believe they can improve on the sequel and definitely owe it to the fans to do so. Bring the boys to front, get rid of Vernon Fenwick, improve on April’s character (i.e. not leaning out of a truck falling down a mountain to take a picture just so Will Arnett and the audience can see her ass), and improve on the plot lines so that even a young audience doesn’t have to make up excuses for holes in the story line.
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