What were the ten best moments of Game of Thrones royal wedding episode “The Lion and the Rose”?

After last week’s cinematic season premiere, we were wondering how the writers would try and top it this week. With novel writer George R. R. Martin penning this season’s sophomore effort, we should have known there were shocks coming. And boy were there! It’s hard to whittle down all of those great moments to a list of our ten favorites. So, Hypable writers Harri Sargeant and Laura Byrne-Cristiano have teamed up to try and narrow down the entries. Then, Tariq Kyle worked some gif magic so you can re-live this week’s best laughs, shocks and one-liners again and again.

Check out our favorites below, and don’t forget to share your picks in the comments! This article contains strong language.

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Every wedding has its questionable moments whether it’s the wannbe, pop-star wedding singer, or the drunken uncle whose antics are funny only to himself. Westeros’s weddings are no exception. It’s a wonder anyone gets married here because the floor shows keep upstaging the “happy couples.” Citizens of Westeros take note: as soon as they play The Rains of Castamere, run; it’s a harbinger of doom.

“There is too much amusement here today…time has come for all of us to contemplate our history.”

The best part of the dwarf show was the reaction of the guests to it when they thought no one saw their faces. Predictably, Joffrey and Cersei were oblivious to its content affecting the guests. Tommen, the future king, went from enjoying to then realizing, “Oh, perhaps this isn’t funny after all”. Margaery simply couldn’t keep up the pretense any longer after the jibes at Renly and by extension Lloras. She looked like she’d just downed a bite of Lamprey Pie gone bad. Saddest of all was Sansa, who in trance-like desolation, was utterly alone reliving the deaths of most of her family. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano

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The Lannisters have ruled the seven kingdoms for over two seasons now, and have done so with very few challenges. Especially after the Red Wedding, it was beginning to seem as if they were invincible. So, we were genuinely thrilled when Oberyn Martell swanned into the capital last week – and this week we got to see the Red Viper’s bite.

“In other places, the rape and murder of women and children is considered… distasteful.”

When Cersei tried to mock his paramour Elia Sand, Oberyn retorted with a scathing and thinly veiled attack on the Lannister’s entire approach to politics. Those two season’s of blonde dominance were all worth it for those few seconds of stunned silence from the “former” Queen Regent. We’re sure this won’t be the last time we hear from Oberyn’s sharp tongue – and we can’t wait. – Harri Sargeant

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Meanwhile, back at the ranch,…er…that cold, cold road North, we have Bran, the Reeds, and Hodor. Just when book fans thought visions were never going to play a big role this series, finally, a vision pops up. Alas, both the vision, and the follow-up discussion were way too short.

“Look for me. Beneath the tree. North!”

As Bran touches the godswood tree, images flood his mind: the three-eyed crow, the crypt at Winterfell, Ned Stark’s sword, Ned himself, Bran falling from the tower, an empty throne, and a dragon shadow flying above King’s Landing. Why was there no vision of Lyanna’s statue in the crypt? What does it all mean? Who knows, other than Bran feels strongly that he has to obey the voice commanding him to the North, which may not be the greatest idea now that Theon has spilled the beans to the Boltons. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano

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Poor Theon Greyjoy went through hell last season, as he was flayed, tortured, and broken down by the psychotic Ramsay Snow. Though we saw him taking on the name ‘Reek’ at the end of last season, we saw an entirely reborn character in the opening scene of this week’s episode. No longer requiring shackles, he obediently follows his new master as they chase a girl through the woods.

“Peeled a few bits, removed a few others.”

He’s a broken man, passing up the opportunity to slit his captor’s throat – instead just shaving him and giving up valuable information about Bran and Rickon’s whereabouts. We can’t even be angry at him, because he’s clearly been driven mad in his misery. But Reek is possibly doing more damage to the Stark family than Theon Greyjoy ever did. – Harri Sargeant

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Jamie finally admits to Tyrion that he’s been putting on a brave face, a bold arrogance in public to keep his detractors at bay. He truly believes what both Tywin and Cersei all but said last week: Jamie is worthless as a knight. The brothers are usually, totally honest with only each other.

“A toast to the proud Lannister children: The dwarf, the cripple and the mother of madness.”

Tyrion tries to help Jamie. First he tries witty remarks about the food. Next he lets him know that all the Lannister children are failures in Tywin’s eyes. Finally, he spills wine himself to demonstrate Jamie’s concerns are not that grand. In the end, Tyrion gives the most practical help of all, a swordsman to train Jamie who has been paid to keep his mouth shut about Jamie’s diminished skill set. – Laura Byrne-Cristiano

On page 2:

Shae’s sadness, unrequited love, and pigeon pie…

Edited by Brandi Delhagen