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Hypable

Big News

Actress Shailene Woodley is continuing with her plan to take over any and all future highly anticipated young adult literature adaptations. Following her recent deals to star in Divergent as Tris and Hazel in The Fault in Our Stars, the actress and two studios announced her involvement in upcoming projects on Monday.

Woodley will star as Hermione Granger in the reboot of the Harry Potter film series, Warner Bros. announced today. “When we saw Shailene take the lead role in The Fault in Our Stars, our first thought was: We LOVED John Green’s Harry Potter song! What was it called again? That one…,” the studio said in a statement. “We know we can use this random connection to Harry Potter to springboard an exciting new franchise for the fans. It’s all about the fans, and we have a lot of them.”

Not to be outdone, Lionsgate had big news of its own. “Oh really, Warner Brothers?” its press release uncharacteristically began. “We have Woodley for the role of Katniss in our The Hunger Games reboot scheduled to debut in 2016.” The news of a reboot came as a real surprise to those who love Suzanne Collins’ series, particularly because only one film in the original franchise has been released thus far.

Former Hermione and Katniss actresses Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence released a joint statement about the announcements. “This is more messed up than when Emma was rumored to be under consideration for Fifty Shades of Grey,” the pair agreed.

Reading their statement, Woodley’s agent grew wide-eyed and quickly signed a deal with Universal. “Woodley signs on to star as Anastasia in E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey,” said the fourth press release in a span of three hours.

“Wait, what?” James said on the phone when Hypable asked for comment. “Well, I won’t lie and admit I didn’t think of her in sexy ways when I saw her in The Descendants, and heaven knows we need to get filming this thing before it’s as distant a memory as someone’s second time having sex. We’ll take her!”

Fans were understandably upset that Woodley is signing on for roles that fiction dwellers had spent weeks upon weeks thinking about on their respective Tumblrs. People became so upset, they couldn’t even find a GIF that was capable of expressing their dismay.

Hypable is currently considering changing its name to “Woodable” because it’s clear we’ll be writing a lot, lot more about her.

Woodable - By fans, for fans... of Shailene Woodley

  • ginny

    i love you andrew

  • snuffles44

    too good. Love this: “This is more messed up than when Emma was rumored to be under consideration for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey”

  • a

    What has the world come to??

  • Lucy

    This is amazing.

  • jp

    april foooools

  • Mariah

    This is hilarious.

  • Winkyxx

    April fools!

  • TheOneAndOnlyCliche

    Pretty sure it’s an April Fool, y’all.

    • TheOneAndOnlyCliche

      (This is in response to the person who took the article seriously. CALM YO SHIT.)

  • Winkyxx

    Andrew, you’re awesome.

  • laura

    i adore you andrew :)

  • http://twitter.com/lastyearswishes lastyearswishes

    lol

  • linda

    haha april fools right…

  • Jeff Dodge

    What would’ve made this more realistic if if you didn’t include the “and any other YA adaptation you’re interested in” part at the end of the headline. That part automatically screams April Fools. Sorry, but I’m kinda disappointed in this year’s prank because that just ruined it.

    • http://www.twitter.com/matsemann08 Matsemann08

      The headline automatically screams April Fools.

    • http://www.hypable.com/ Andrew Sims

      Jeff – the whole purpose was to make it ridiculous as possible. I wasn’t looking to fool anyone.

      • Jeff Dodge

        I know, I know… lol. :) It is funny, I admit.

  • sirlupton

    God darnett I almost fell for it! I completely forgot it was April Fools…This is one of your best, Andrew! Well done.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maria-Wang/542480760 Maria Wang

    WAIT WHAT??? There’s a Harry Potter reboot?! Oh yea….April Fools! HAHAHA! You had me for a sec there

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=796590000 Amy Louise Stevens

      Thank god they’re not remaking it! Its perfect as it is!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maria-Wang/542480760 Maria Wang

        if they are every doing a remake, I expect Emma to be Maggie Smith’s age. Then they could give her a small cameo or a very minor character.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Diego-Hernandez/539018211 Diego Hernandez

          “Then they could give her a small cameo or a very minor character” petunia dursley ^_^ maybe

  • shadyob023yar

    Woodable! lol Love it.

  • alyssavanskyock

    lol April Fools! Nice one Andrew :)

  • blujai

    lol

  • Lumus Asphodel Busy

    This is so cool because I´m so exictante for Potter reboot.

  • http://twitter.com/RoiDeRats Brett

    I forgot it was April Fool’s for a sec

  • hpboy13

    Loved this! Glad to know Hypable will follow Mugglenet’s tradition of wonderful April Fools posts (who here remembers LeakyMug in 2006? that one actually got me).

  • Amanda

    I was seeing red for a moment there. Red.

  • theaterboy1

    Couldn’t stop smiling while reading this…also, my last name is Wood so “Woodable” would actually work in my case lol.

  • GinnyWeasley002

    Andrew, you are amazing. I’m so glad y’all did this!

  • Lol!!!

    April Fools!!!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/TrueKlainer21 Klaine Is On Fire ♥

    This was amazing! :)

  • Glaciusx

    THIS WAS NOT OKAY. I actually believed this for a second! Andrew…you are too much, lol.

  • Laura Jones

    “WOODABLE” … i died

  • upper_westsider

    LOL, you had me for a bit!

  • VIIKIHPNERD

    Andrew, your jokes never fail (had me since Mugglenet back in the mid-2000s)…I was like, ‘Wait, there’s a Harry Potter reboot?!’

  • mariel

    u guys suck. -__-

  • http://twitter.com/Liam_I_Exist Ticket-Less FanGirl

    ha ha ha. Not funny Andrew.

  • georgina Phelps

    I love you Hypable. Never change.

  • normalizboring

    i almost cried there for a minute……………sweet mother of pearl………that was awful.

  • LP

    Until I read “Harry Potter reboot” I was had… but I still got a little bit excited/angry/sad/happy lol

  • Katie

    So to be that person who makes a minor (and rather obscure) correction in an online article, I will comment on the fact that John Green didn’t make that one Harry Potter song. It was his brother Hank Green. Happy April Fool’s Day!

    • http://twitter.com/SECM07 Sara Elizabeth M.

      Not as bad as the article that said Hank wrote TFiOS… but close! haha

    • Lucy

      I think that was part of the joke actually.. Because they didn’t really know what the Harry Potter song was so they just associated with the author of TFIOS to make it sound more legit.. That’s how I took it

  • Amy

    Hahahah, I love it. Don’t forget about Shailene also playing MJ! She is taking over the world.

  • http://twitter.com/FailGloriously Katherine Fitzgerald

    Got a little confused for a second because April Fool’s was yesterday here in Oz, lol!

  • http://twitter.com/NinjaWhovian Susan Chilkotowsky

    Can I just say you’re awesome Andrew? Love this article so much!!

  • PotterFan1029

    LOL

  • Woodable

    april fools joke of the century! X’D

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