In New York, Kurt has a surprise for his roomies – boyfriend pillows for both girls, though Kurt has thoughtfully added a boob and some perfume to Santana’s and given it a sex change. She’s delighted, but Rachel is still creeped out, and also denies that she needs comforting – she’s not lonely, and she says that even though Brody moved out, they might get back together. Santana, stunned, quite gently tells Rachel that it is over, and that though she had been wrong about the drug-dealing, it’d just been a matter of what he was selling. She tells Rachel that Brody was a gigolo, and Rachel appeals to Kurt, asking if it’s true, and if he knew. She knows him well enough to interpret his silence, and horrified, she runs off to her bedroom.
Back at McKinley, Blaine has worked up the courage to do his own guilty pleasure performance in front of the glee club – he plays piano on the auditorium stage and performs “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins. It’s a live audio take, like “The Break Up’s” “Teenage Dream” – they stuck the cameras on Darren and let him sing and play the number live, so the performance is poignant and unpolished, with the kind of breathing and emotion that’s realistic to the scene. It makes the moment much more emotional than most Glee performances and it begs the question why on earth Glee doesn’t do more live performances. Even if they release a studio version of the song for sale, they should record live takes while filming and include those in the episodes, as it is much more in the moment, and makes the song feel more part of the story. Big group numbers, or stuff with heavy choreography, maybe not, but all the solos should be live like this.
Blaine looks out at the audience periodically while singing, and Sam stares straight back at him, looking sorrowful. Blaine finishes, nodding gracefully when they applaud, and Tina, because she’s a bitch, asks knowingly who the song was about. Kitty hits her and tells her to shut it, ergo, Kitty is my new baby angel. Blaine claims that he sung it about Kurt, that the break-up was still an open wound, but it’s a lie. The fact that he can lie about that makes me really hope that he’s over the break-up and over Kurt in general, and that we never see them as a couple ever again, because this feels like growth. But Blaine claims that the important part of the performance was recognising the genius of Phil Collins. He goes on a slightly over-dramatic rant about dedicating his life to Phil Collins, and Sam continues to look at him sadly. Blaine looks sadly right back. It’s sad. They’re sad. They both know what’s going on. Wahhh.
They then whack in two musical numbers back-to-back in the choir room – the Spice Girls do “Wannabe,” with Kitty as Geri, Unique as Emma, Brittany as Mel C, Tina as Mel B, and Marley as Victoria. Kitty looks so awesome in the classic Union Jack dress, but there is this weird moment between her and Artie that I’m not into – I need them to not be a thing. It’s a pretty cool performance, except for the strange fake-British enunciation on “slam your body down and wind it all around” – maybe it sounded worse in American, but whatever they were trying for, they failed. The boys thoroughly approve, with Artie shrieking “BEST THING EVER” which I would bet money was a Kevin McHale ad-lib, and Blaine teacherly thanks the girls and introduces the next performer, Jake.
He’s booed and heckled by the club, and he throws out his arms, imploring them to stop, and announces that he’s chosen another “Brown” song – not Chris Brown, but Bobby Brown. He begins to perform “My Prerogative,” which younger viewers may know better from Britney Spears’ cover of the song, and busts out some sweet moves, gliding all around the choir room. Opinions in the audience are mixed, but Jake’s one true love Ryder leaps to his feet in support, and by the end most of the club, except for Marley, is bopping along. Jacob Artist sure shows off his dance moves, but the lyrics of the song seem almost like a symbolic defence, either of Jake’s desire to sing Chris Brown, or of Chris Brown himself, and it actually makes me kind of uncomfortable, like Glee’s letting Jake get away with the last word.
Later, we see the aftermath. Tina’s cosplaying Vicki, the robot girl from Small Wonder – “that’s it, I’ve reached my guilty-pleasures-that-nobody-cares-about limit,” Kitty declares – when Jake approaches Marley, Tina and Kitty in the hallway. He says that he needs to apologise, and that he “didn’t know about the Bobby Brown thing” – the thing, we flash back to see Artie scathingly telling Jake, being that Bobby Brown got Whitney Houston addicted to crack, and ruined her life.
This fact apparently didn’t deter Artie from grooving along like his life depended on it, and I’m a bit like – really? Really? Are we now going to force people to apologise for every artist’s personal failings? Because this show has done The Beatles, and John Lennon beat his wife. This show has done a number by Hole, for God’s sake, and Courtney Love is the craziest human being currently alive on this planet, and has caused a metric ton of damage to many people’s lives.
I completely agree with the earlier point that, in the current climate, if the glee club – and Glee in general – were to have a list of people who they categorically do not support in any way, Chris Brown should be Public Enemy Number 1. But if they’re going to start casting judgement and making people feel guilty about the personal background of artists, they’ve got a long back-list of apologies that they need to start making.
Anyway, Marley and Jake once again sort out their difference with a mature conversation, making sure to touch on The Moral Of The Story – “can a few high school kids boycotting Chris Brown make a difference?” “Well, every little bit helps” – and sickeningly, Marley calls Jake her own guilty pleasure.
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