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Hypable

This week on Glee, we saw a ton of nipples, a ton of feelings, and an unusually disproportionate amount of throwbacks to past episodes. Also, our favourite ladies are back. You can read a full recap of Glee‘s “Naked” below.

Our favourite anchors down at WOHN report that that New Directions are back in the show choir competition circuit after court-administered blood tests proved that Hunter Clarington and the Warblers had used steroids. As the camera stops rolling, at around the same moment I am about to yell, “Seriously? This is on the news?!” Sue’s old rival Andrea shrieks “I can’t believe it. This is what they think news is, now?” as she rips out her microphone and hysterically departs the station. Rod Remington remains unfazed, awaiting his younger, hotter co-anchor. Over at McKinley, the glee club members are back in the choir room, applauding themselves and especially praising dream-team Sam and Blaine for their sleuthing. Finn quickly reminds the club that they’re three weeks behind in preparation, and also that they need to raise $400 to pay for their transport to Regionals. When he suggests a bake sale to raise money, the department of backstory reminds him that this only worked last time because Puck put weed in the cupcakes. “I could sell more of my semen,” Sam offers determinedly, and the implications of that stand-alone sentence sure are something.

Tina quickly comes up with a new way to creep on Blaine under the pretense of it being for the greater good, and suggests that the glee guys do a Men of McKinley calender to sell. She makes sure to point out how she thinks Blaine should dress, and stares at him like he’s a slice of pie. Artie, when he realises that he’s one of the six guys expected to pose, looks a little nervous and asks why the girls can’t be involved and objectified as well, and Kitty gives a pretty reasonable answer – which is that teen girls are the demographic that buys the most, so pandering to them is going to be the most lucrative option. “This could actually work,” ponders Finn, impressed, and puts Tina in charge of setting up the project.

It seems that this week is the week for Glee to roll out a few old staples that we haven’t seen for a while – WOHN, continuity, and now, Fondue For Two. Brittany grabs Marley after glee rehearsal and brings her on the show. It’s as absurd as can be expected, really, with Brittany callously or thoughtlessly referencing Marley’s bulimia, and plenty of Lord Tubbington. But when Brittany tries to get Marley to admit to being in love with Jake, Marley chokes on a bit of bread and gets all startled rabbit. Brittany chides her, saying that if Jake is willing to take off his clothes for the good of the glee club, then Marley should get naked too – emotionally – and be willing to bare all, telling him how she really feels. They’ve been dating for one week. But okay.

The next day, Brittany and Sam – or “sexy teen imbeciles” as Figgins calls them – are told by the principal that they have achieved both the highest (Brittany) and lowest (Sam) SAT scores that the school has ever seen. Brittany’s seems to have been achieved by a random system of colouring in the multiple choice; however, Sam’s score, Figgins tells him, is one that is routinely bested by monkeys in clinical trials. Sam looks disheartened. I feel disheartened, because I hate this Sam-is-dumb storyline. It came out of nowhere, seemingly just so they could pair him up with Brittany. In his first ever episode, he mentioned being dyslexic and having to work at his grades, and that storyline disappeared and re-appeared with Ryder, and now Sam is the “dumb kid”? I really hate it. I forgive Glee for a lot of its errors or back-pedalling – I may snark about it, but I do forgive it – but the dumbing-down of Sammy Evans is not one I am willing to let go of, especially when the show has gone out of its way to include another, beautifully done and sensitive story about dyslexia. Brittany tries to reassure him by telling him how great his body is, and how it means he won’t need to go to college. Sam looks thrilled at this prospect, just thrilled.

At NYADA, Rachel successfully lands a part in a student film, the senior thesis of an older student. It sounds like a load of complete hipster wank, but Rachel is impressed and a little awed by the student director. When the girl mentions that in a certain scene, Rachel will need to go topless, Rachel keeps it together externally but becomes nervous. She takes a moment to talk to herself, assuring herself that she’s strong and confidant enough to do this. “I’m the one who asked Brody to move in. I’m the one who almost made it out of Agent Provocateur without giggling.” “You also made it out, but you didn’t,” says another, identical voice and Rachel turns, startled, to find the old version of herself – straight parted hair, prim skirt and blouse, loafers and knee socks.

The Old Rachel hallucination follows Rachel around the school, playing the part of one extreme of her conscience, trying to talk her current self out of doing the nude scene. She tells New Rachel that she could use a little shame, saying that her current hair and make-up looks like a porn star. Because they’re Rachel, they soon decide that the only way to resolve the issue is to sing about it, so Rachel sings a duet with herself to “Torn,” which has nothing to do with the situation at hand whatsoever, except that it includes the word “torn” and the word “naked,” I guess. As the song ends and her old and new self consider each other, weigh up, the film’s director corners Rachel and asks for her answer – and Rachel accepts the part in the film.

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  • Anthony

    Another great recap as always, Natalie. I love reading these!

    The only thing I disagree is that the song ‘Torn’ actually did relate to the situation in some way. Although the song was completely taken out of context from its original meaning of being torn in a relationship, this particular rendition showed Rachel being torn between her moral decisions, and losing sight of her old self. Although it didn’t follow the lyrics perfectly, some parts of the lyrics reflected the situation quite well, in my opinion.

    I think it’s similar to how they did ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ back in Season 1. That song was used as a longing relationship between a mother and daughter rather than it’s original intended meaning.

  • SarcasticLuna

    I loved the “This is the New Year” number, For one Jarley, two Blaine looked incredibly hot 3 Joe was just hilariously epic in the background.

    And you’d think by now Rachel would know to listen to Quinn
    But it was still a great episode, but they should seriously cut out the Tina/Blaine it’s quite creepy

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-Chaplin/100003399292703 Jay Chaplin

    The should cut out the butt kissing of Blaine. He is not god’s gift to men and women stop with all the compliments.
    Glad Santana is on her way to NY and they can give that portion more time and sure it up since it has actual potential and has the best actors and singers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cassidy.howell.98 Cassidy Howell

    The beginning of the “A New Year” music number was styled after the original music video

  • Vanj203

    Thanks for another great recap, Natalie! I loved this episode, and I was noticing that when Jake was singing, “Let Me Love You,” Blaine’s expressions were significant – not that he was crushing on Jake, but that he was feeling that the words applied to Sam. Lyrics like “I’ll love you until you can love yourself” were very apt since Sam obviously has self esteem issues.

    Tina is going so over the top. Her comments on Blaine are getting to be really inappropriate, and Blaine obviously thinks so too.

    I loved Santana nailing the student film theme, and saying, “It’s a student film. It’s not going to be good!” She’s so knowing now that she’s going to college herself. When she moves to NYC I really, really hope that Glee gets their New York spin off show.

    Finn is so great the way he’s learned to play Sue. He’s going to outfox her every time before she can ruin the glee club’s chances. He so totally better at operating the glee club than Will – although I do like Matthew Morrison’s singing voice.

  • akrhyne

    I really enjoyed this episode, feeling that this is what glee could be (and should be) every week. There was a perfect mix of new and old characters, both entertaining and emotional story lines, songs that actually fit the plot, continuity through the episodes, and good old-fashioned fun!!
    This is the way glee used to be and it was nice to have it back!

  • Marie

    My comment on the 2-2-2 thing is that I feel like I, at least, would not come to the same conclusion Rachel did. Like, I feel like after 2 years, most people would say “It happened, whatever.” I could be wrong, but that’s my thought.

    Also, I find it strange that Ryan doesn’t perceive Tina as being creepy (as he said on Twitter). She’s uber-creepy.

    • Linda

      She sure is. I’m beginning to think the only logical explanation for her behavior this season is she suffered some kind of traumatic brain injury over the summer that altered her personality.

      • Marie

        I made up a joke theory forever ago that the Glee club members regularly undergo a surgery that is supposed to make them better singers, but actually just completely changes their personality.

  • AtlasShrugged

    Wonderful recap, as usual! I’m so bored with Marley and Jake. “A Thousand Years” sounded good but when I was watching it, all I could think was how much I don’t care about these characters at all. So boring! “Torn” was very interesting. I’m not sure how I feel about it. It was so weird seeing Rachel how she used to be. It made me nostalgic for the first season. I don’t like sounding like all the “haters” out there but I’m so disappointed at what this show has become. I keep watching it every week, thinking it’ll get better. However sad it would be, I really wish this was the last season. How will next season work? There’s going to be a million characters! :)

  • http://twitter.com/CassiopeiaDrake Cassie Drake

    Oh man, this episode just made me SUPER uncomfortable on SO MANY LEVELS.

    While I’m glad that Rachel ultimately decided that a student film was not the right time to get topless on camera, I didn’t approve of Kurt’s attitude towards it. First off, she wasn’t getting NAKED. She was going topless. Men go topless all the time. Why can’t women? Both men and women have nipples and breasts. Just because ours are more prominent, they’re suddenly dirty?? Where I’m from, men and women have the same rights in terms of dress code, ie: anywhere a man is allowed to take his top off, a woman is extended the same courtesy as well. Most choose not to, thanks to societal stigma, but it’s perfectly within our rights.

    That being said, again, Rachel wasn’t getting naked and she wasn’t doing porn. She was doing a film. By Kurt’s logic, every time a woman gets naked in film, it’s porn. Which obviously is not the case. I mean, I personally would not want to get naked, student film, personal film, Oscar film… nothing. I am just not comfortable with my body that way. Like I said, I’m glad Rachel didn’t choose this moment to be her big unveiling, but I don’t like all the slut-shaming she received during the episode.

    Secondly, Brody is super-creepy OMG. First off, it is NEVER acceptable to be nude in a common area of a shared household, unless previously agreed on by all occupants. All these rumours of “TV show leading lady getting pregnant” makes me fear that 1) it’ll be Rachel and 2) it’ll be Brody’s baby through really sketchy circumstances. I kept thinking that in order to help Rachel get more comfortable with nudity and the camera, he’d suggest they film a sex tape “just for themselves” and then either it accidentally or purposely leaking. Thank god they remembered Santana’s [lol I sure didn't] and hopefully she put an end to that possible storyline. But still. I really really really don’t like Brody. I don’t trust him. Why is he living with them? What happened to his place? Is he there permanently? So fast? Does that mean he doesn’t even have his own place anymore? You’d think they’d go with “hey, how about I set aside some drawer space and you can stay here on the weekends” or some sort of temporary, part-time living arrangement. But nope, Brody can just drop his MANHATTAN APARTMENT and move in with Rachel and Kurt in Bushwick. It makes me think he didn’t have his own place. Like, he was secretly living at NYADA. Or with Cassie.

    NO WAIT, WASN’T HE IN RESIDENCE??? Ugh, this just doesn’t make sense…

    But yeah. I think he’ll be bad news for Rachel. I was never a big Finn/Rachel shipper, but omg Brody just scares the shit out of me. Between the two, I’d rather her be with Finn.

    Also: Tina is really creepy. WTF IS UP WITH ALL THESE CREEPY PEOPLE???

    Jake and Marley progressed really fast, but I guess they’re supposed to be 10th graders? So it’s like, their first SERIOUS serious relationship? So dumb naiveté can be the excuse for saying “I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” after just 2 weeks. But still.

    Ugh. Just so much bothered me about this episode >_< It brought up way too many bad bad bad feels =///

    • Anthony

      I actually thought it was one of the better episodes they’ve had in a while.

    • Marie

      I liked this episode way more than Sadie Hawkins (because of Blam and there was significantly less of Tina being creepy, although she was still uber-creepy). I dislike Brody too. He just seems too fake, and I’m still confused about whether he’s actually living there now or not. I’m assuming he is, but it was never confirmed in the episode.

      I’m going to actually stick up for Jarley (shockingly), but they still saw each other, and I would assume talk outside of class, plenty before they officially became a thing. I do find it weird that they’re playing it up, since I thought they were already officially together, but whatever. :-P I think the problem is just that we haven’t really gotten to see much of their relationship, but since I’m not really interested in it, it doesn’t bother me too much.

  • Me

    NIPPLES. OH GOD NIPPLES.

  • http://www.facebook.com/katgiambruno Kat Giambruno

    I feel like they are taking Sam’s body issues more seriously than Marly’s. I don’t think this is cool. I also don’t like how after Marly’s passes out at sectionals from her eating disorder Finn decides it is a good idea to objectify half the club’s bodies for profit. But I loved the bit about the student film. I knew a lot of film majors in college and Glee was spot on!

    • Marie

      I try to forget the stupidity of the eating disorder plot line is happened, but you are totally right. I feel like the whole eating disorder plot was just a way for them to lose sectionals, honestly.

      God, my relationship with this show is so bizarre. I hate as many things as I love about it.

  • Keefa

    SO annoyed at Kurt’s blatant slut-shaming.
    He’s always been a pretty accepting character, of people, who are they are, their choice. this seemed so out of the blue and a complete 360 and not Kurt. And I feel like he needs to know topless =/= porno.
    and brody walking around the house naked is not acceptable!
    and this whole Tina/Blaine/Sam thing annoys me. at least Blaine knows not act on his crush because Sam is straight and won’t go for. Tina doesn’t seem to get that Blaine is gay and nothing will come of her crush, yet she keeps pushing and pushing at it. its creepy and weird.

    loved the review overall, well done (:

  • Sarah. W.

    “sexy teen imbeciles” people don’t give Figgins enough credit for his comedic contribution to this show seriously

    • http://twitter.com/Tygridia Tygridia

      ikr! I’m still laughting of him thinking Unique was born a girl…

  • Andy

    The only think I can think of that sort of legitimates Tina being SUPER sketchy about her crush on Blaine is if it is intentionally juxtaposed to Blaine’s crush on Sam. With the specific comment about Blaine not being “predatory gay” I think that they could possibly be saying, look at this gay guy having a crush but respecting that it isn’t reciprocated while a girl won’t take no for his answer. In a way it’s challenging the far too commonly believed myth that gay people are always trying to “convert” straight people. But Tina is being really creepy and disrespectful and I feel so bad for Jenna finally getting a prominent storyline and it being this!

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