After a five-week enforced hiatus, Glee is back, and it’s better than ever! Well, let’s not go that far. It’s back, and it’s fine. In this week’s episode, it’s Grease audition time, and things heat up between our Glee: The New Class contenders. As Finn tries his hand at directing, McKinley welcomes back some familiar faces who’ve come to whip the new recruits into shape. Read our full recap below.
Since getting thoroughly dumped by Rachel at the end of the last episode, Finn has been honing his cynicism and self-pity down at good old Hummel Tires and Lube. This is where Artie pays him a visit, attempting to pull Finn out of his funk. Finn’s finding the prospect of the tire shop being his foreseeable future as pretty bleak and puke-worthy, and Artie commiserates, telling Finn that Finn’s special and creative soul is so above this. Never mind insulting all the other employees probably within earshot; never mind the fact that this is a place Burt Hummel worked hard on. Anything that’s good enough for Burt Hummel is certainly good enough for Finn Hudson, in my book. Anyway, Artie blackmails Finn into co-directing Grease by saying that he’ll drop out if Finn doesn’t agree to come on board. Finn compares this act of “holding the musical hostage” to terrorism, but Artie doesn’t really give him an out.
At McKinley, Sam is signing up for Grease tryouts, and when he tries to engage Blaine, the other boy starts to speak in that faraway, slightly delirious tone that means we are going to be treated to the comedy gold of some classic Blaine Anderson histrionics. We’re not disappointed, when Blaine starts to try to make Sam understand the very special and unique pain that he is suffering since Kurt dumped him for not keeping it in his pants. Sam looks taken aback around the point where Blaine starts mourning the loss of his and Kurt’s future love-nest – a lighthouse in Provincetown – and tells him, in the nicest way possible, to drink down a cup of concrete and harden the bleep up.
Blaine slouches off, propping himself up on the walls in his suffering, and begins to sing “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” I can’t fault the song. He sings it wonderfully, it’s one of the only two songs from Grease I’d really want to hear him sing, and the other one is coming up next episode. But it’s so hard to take seriously when he’s balled up in the choir room, crooning and dripping tears onto his creepy scrapbook of Kurt that he apparently carries around with him – seriously, an album of them together I’d understand, but this is Harry-Styles-fangirl-style shrine to the other boy – and then does his best Prudence from Across The Universe, singing his pain while weaving through a slow-motion football practice. I’d actually really appreciate this homage if the context in any way matched up, which, naturally, it doesn’t. Mainly, the football players flying past his head just really highlighted how short he is.
When the song hits the Big Note – you know the one, you’ve seen the movie – it cuts to the auditorium where Blaine is performing the number – fists clenched – for his Grease audition. Finn – who’s decided that, because he’s not the Bush administration, he can negotiate with terrorists – and Artie both look like they kind of wish Blaine was hopelessly devoted to them, and despite his singing of a Sandy song, they offer him the Danny Zuko role on the spot. Blaine turns his “Cameron from Modern Family” dial up to eleven and claims he can’t take the role, because Grease is a romance and he couldn’t possibly deliver the truth of Danny Zuko in the state he’s in. Finn rolls his eyes, and I thank Grilled Cheesus, because for a minute there I was starting to think that the Glee writers had gotten drunk off of their own “we made Darren Criss a star” Kool-Aid and that the audience was meant to actually be taking this as seriously as we took last episode’s “Teenage Dream.” But no, it seems that Blaine really is meant to have this character trait of ridiculous melodramatics when he gets caught up, and they are freaking hysterical. He truly is the new Rachel, in this aspect more than any other.
The directors gently ask if there’s any role Blaine would think about playing, and he deigns to allow them to cast him as the one-scene Teen Angel. Though he probably won’t be able to cope with that, either. He flounces off, and you can practically see the back of the hand pressed to the forehead and the other one trailing out behind him. “Wow. I’ve never seen Blaine so… Masterpiece Theater,” Artie points out, and Finn, disheartened, leaves the auditions himself, saying that he’s not cut out for directing. Artie comes after him and talks him off the ledge, telling him that it will be fine if he surrounds himself with the right people to help – such as a brilliant choreographer and vocal coach. Do we know anyone who could fill those positions? Why yes, we do – Mike Chang and Mercedes Jones, and with perfect timing, they’re here to help. The non-dialogue scene of the four First Twelve New Directions reuniting is genuinely a feelings-fest of the first degree. Mostly because of Mike Chang’s face.
Schue and Emma are getting some couples counseling from Coach Beiste, due to the fact that Will still wants to take Emma to DC in order to cook him microwave dinners while he toils away at his Important Government Think-Tank. Beiste remains adorable while making a bunch of football analogies that no one understands, and Will – while continuing to dismiss and interrupt Emma – attempts to do it in a slightly more compassionate way, explaining that he wants her with him no matter what, and next time something happens, they can go wherever she wants. He misses the point she’s been making by about a mile, but Emma ends up finally agreeing to go with him to Washington. As they hug, Beiste looks on and notices that Emma doesn’t look very happy or genuine about her agreement.
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